A woman was disinvited from her best friend’s wedding after she told the bride that the groom was “into me first.”
In a post on the Am I the ***hole Reddit forum, a 26-year-old woman wrote that she and her best friend Izzy, 27, were on bad terms after repeatedly making her and her fiancé Jake uncomfortable by telling their friends and family that she dated him first and she let her best friend have him.
“[Izzy and I] were practically raised together,” the bride began the post. “We were closer in college, but after that we have been drifting apart a little but I still had a strong bond with her up until recently. She has been there for me a lot and I have too so it's tough, this situation.”
The bride explained that a few years prior Izzy went on a few dates with her now-fiancé Jake, but ultimately their romance was short-lived and she was the one to break things off, telling him that she wasn’t interested in a serious relationship at the time.
“Even though I was her best friend, I didn’t really know Jake because she used to get asked out a lot, but only a few turned serious,” the bride explained. “So I knew about her boyfriends, but not necessarily her dates.”
A year after their fling, the bride met Jake and became smitten with him.
“We quickly became good friends,” the bride shared. “I used to talk about him to Izzy a lot, but it’s when I showed her his picture that she recognized him and told me about her dates with him. Friendships were more important to me that any guy back then so I asked her if it was okay to date him because I liked him a lot. She said she had no problem and joked about it ever turning into a relationship, which I took as a joke.”
But as the bride’s relationship with Jake grew serious and they moved in together, she and Izzy drifted apart, but she hadn’t thought that there was any ill will on Izzy’s part, that is until Jake proposed.
“After I got engaged, she became very weird,” the bride wrote. “She was very shocked, and would not believe it. Then later she used to tell me I’m too young to be married and if I’m sure, but I saw this as just concern.”
Despite these red flags, the bride still asked Izzy to be her maid-of-honour along with her sister. But things changed after the bride posted engagement photos on social media, and Izzy commented “You better mention me in your vows because he was into me first, haha” instead of congratulatory words like the rest of their friends. The bride added, “Jake felt very uncomfortable, and so did I, but I defended her saying that, it’s just Izzy, she jokes around a lot.”
But the uncomfortable comments didn’t end there, at a post-Christmas dinner party the couple hosted, Izzy told their friends and family that Jake dated her first and let the bride have him. She allegedly continued to make the comments even after the couple told her it made them uncomfortable. When the bride told Izzy she was taking things too far, Izzy said that she was overreacting, to which the bride replied that if that was the way she felt, she shouldn’t attend the wedding at all.
With their mutual friends “choosing sides based on who they know more,” the bride asked users if she had been overreacting. She said, “I’m worried I’m ruining a lifelong friendship when I’m not even right.”
Reddit users for the most part took the bride’s side in the situation, saying that if someone were to tell them that they felt “uncomfortable,” the right thing to do would be to apologise. One person said, “I think that she loses any right to claim it was “just a joke” when you’ve expressed that it makes you uncomfortable and asked her to stop. You have every right to enforce your boundaries.”
“I think she put you in a super tough position,” one person wrote. “You asked her to stop and she wouldn’t, and so she kind of forced your hand.”
“Kick her out and leave her out for good,” another added. “She is jealous and insecure. She sees what you have and either wishes she had stayed with him, or wishes she found someone too. It’s disgusting the way she’s making your special day all about her.”
