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Kelly Rissman
US News Reporter
A woman has been defended after she refused to let her best friend’s partner propose at her wedding.
In a recent post shared to the popular “Am I The A**hole?” Reddit forum, the former bride explained how she got married last month, with everything going off “without a hitch.” However, there was “one awkward moment” before the wedding with her close friend.
“A week before the wedding, my best friend, ‘Maya,’ asked if her fiancé ‘Jake’ could propose to her at my reception,” she wrote. “Apparently, Jake thought it would be ‘romantic’ and was convinced that it would make their moment more special.”
She explained that while she loved her friend, she didn’t want the proposal to take away from the attention on the newlyweds at the wedding, so she said no to the request.
“The idea of having my wedding overshadowed by their proposal didn’t sit right with me. I politely said no and suggested they have their own special day. Maya seemed a little disappointed, but she said she understood,” the woman continued.
However, the former bride noticed during the wedding day that both Maya and Jake “were acting distant.” Since it was “clear that something was off,” she then learned that Jake was annoyed that he couldn’t do the proposal.
AITA for refusing to let my best friend’s fiancé propose at my wedding?
byu/pretty_priya1 inAmItheAsshole
“I later found out that Jake was upset with me for ‘ruining his plan’ and felt like I’d been selfish for not allowing them to share in the love of the day,” she concluded.
The Reddit post has quickly gone viral, with more than 4,900 upvotes. In the comments, multiple people criticized the idea of someone proposing at a friend’s wedding, since it takes away from the bride and groom’s big day.
“Your wedding day is about celebrating you and your partner, not serving as a backdrop for someone else’s proposal. Proposals at weddings are often seen as inappropriate because they can shift the focus away from the couple being celebrated, which is exactly why you were right to say no,” one wrote. “Honestly, your friend should have known better than to ask in the first place. It’s common sense that it’s rude to make someone else’s wedding about you, and I don’t understand why she even thought that would be okay.”
“Were Maya and Jake also planning on paying for half the costs of the reception, caterer, DJ, decorations, etc.? I mean they wanted to share in the love of the day so did that mean they wanted to also share in the costs of the day?” another quipped.
“There should be a special place in the afterlife for people who hijack others’ special events (weddings, birthdays, engagement parties, funerals, anniversaries, etc.) to announce their own special event,” a third wrote. “My only exception to this rule would be if an unexpected emergency or family tragedy takes place during/just-before said event.”
Other people questioned if the proposal between Maya and Jake actually happened before the wedding since she was the one who asked if it could happen.
“How is a proposal she knows about and is taking part in planning gonna be special at all? That s***s not even real at that point. Which feels even worse. Like it’s almost fake?” one wrote. “You want to hijack my wedding to put on this proposal skit for my friends and family? Weird, selfish and stupid.”
“Why is SHE asking if she can get proposed TO at your wedding? That means the proposal has effectively already happened and they are just putting on a play for attention,” another added.
“If SHE asked if HE could propose to her at your wedding – they were not asking for a proposal, they were asking you to subsidize their engagement party. If it is planned by the couple together, then it is no longer a ‘proposal,’” a third agreed.
