A woman has questioned whether it was wrong of her not to attend a celebratory dinner for her husband because she didn’t like the menu at the restaurant he’d chosen.
The woman, who goes by the username u/Willing_Strawberries on Reddit, posed the question to the subreddit AITA [Am I the a**hole], where she asked: “AITA for not attending my husband’s celebration dinner due to the restaurant not having anything I could eat?”
In the accompanying post, the woman explained that her husband recently received a job promotion after working “really hard the last two years,” and that she is “really, really proud of him”.
To celebrate his accomplishment, her husband’s parents wanted to take the family out to dinner. However, according to the Reddit user, she was not happy with her husband’s choice of restaurant.
“My husband absolutely loves prime rib and there’s only one place in our area that serves it so he picked that restaurant. Thing is - I’m not fond of steak. I’ll eat it but very rarely. I prefer chicken or fish,” she explained.
According to the woman, she looked at the menu before the dinner and found that the restaurant “had only one fish entree and two chicken entrees, and none of them sounded good for various reasons”.
At that point, she said she asked her husband to pick a different restaurant so “everyone can eat,” but said he “refused” because they “rarely get to go to this place but go to other places in our area regularly,” which she said was “true” while noting that the other eateries “have lots of variety so everyone can eat”.
AITA for not attending my husband's celebration dinner due to the restaurant not having anything I could eat?
by u/Willing_Strawberries in AmItheAsshole
The woman then said that her husband suggested she order one of the fish or chicken entrees without sauce, but that she’d declined the suggestion because she “didn’t want to be difficult for the kitchen staff”.
“His next suggestion was that I order dessert while everyone else ate entrees and then when we were done, he would take me where I wanted so I could eat dinner while he and the kids ate dessert,” she continued, before adding that she ultimately chose not to attend the dinner because she “didn’t want to sit there not eating and not having a good time while everyone else was”.
According to the woman, her decision upset her husband, as he asked her to come so he could “celebrate with the people most important to him”. However, she said she declined the invite again.
In the post, the woman then revealed that her husband and their children came back from dinner just over an hour after they’d left with their meals in to-go boxes. She said her husband had decided to order the food to go because he didn’t know what excuse to tell their children about why she hadn’t come to the dinner.
“He said he couldn’t think of what to tell the kids about why I didn’t go when they kept asking without lying or making me sound bad so he just got an order for them to go and let the kids spend some time with their grandparents talking in the parking lot,” she wrote. “I told him he should have stayed but he said that I put him in a bad spot with the kids and that I knew he wanted everyone there and that I should’ve just gotten over my picky eating for one night.
“I maintain that if he really wanted us to all eat dinner as a family then he should’ve picked a restaurant with a more accommodating menu. AITA?”
The post, which was upvoted more than 25,000 times, sparked backlash in the comments, with many critical of the woman’s “cruel” behaviour in the situation.
“I can’t even eat steak and I still would go to a steak restaurant for my spouse. They usually have banging sides anyway. OP [original poster] is incredibly selfish and owes her husband a do-over celebration,” one person commented.
Another said: “YTA. You don’t have a food allergy, you’re just picky. You absolutely ruined what was supposed to be a celebration. You were incredibly selfish, and yet your husband still protected your image with the kids by not telling them the truth and making you look bad.”
According to someone else, in addition to being the one in the wrong, the Reddit user is also “selfish” and a “poor partner”.
“It wasn’t that there was nothing you could eat, there was nothing you WANTED … It’s one dinner. You won’t starve if you don’t eat everything on the plate, nor will it poison you. Your husband doesn’t get to go to this restaurant he likes often because he is honouring your wishes most of the time, but you can’t deal with it for him one time,” they wrote, before adding: “You basically told your family ‘My food preferences are more important than your feelings or supporting you’. Then you left your husband in the awkward spot of having to try and lie for you. Because if he told everyone the real reason you missed the dinner they would be calling you an a**hole like this entire thread is.”
In response to one user, who questioned why the OP couldn’t order an appetiser or a side salad at the restaurant, the woman said that the appetiser menu consisted of “all fried foods” and that she doesn’t eat fried foods.
As for the chicken or fish dishes on the menu, she said that they didn’t work because one was fried chicken, while the fish was snapper, which she doesn’t “like”.
“The various reasons were one of the chicken dishes was chicken fried chicken, and I don’t eat fried foods. The fish was snapper, which I don’t like, and was stated as being marinated in bourbon sauce prior to cooking, and the chicken glazed with a bourbon sauce. I can’t stand even the smallest hints of bourbon or its smell,” she wrote.
However, in a follow-up post, the woman said the response to her post ultimately convinced her that she had made a mistake, and that she was the one in the wrong in the situation.
In a follow-up edit, she revealed that the “harsh” comments were a “kick in the pants,” and that she’d since “apologised profusely” to her husband.
“Some of these comments were pretty harsh but a kick in the pants. I’ve apologised profusely to my husband and I am going to take him to that restaurant this weekend and buy him some camping gear he’s been eying as a start to making it up to him and changing course,” she wrote.
The Independent has contacted u/Willing_Strawberries for comment.
