A woman has enlisted help from the internet after sharing that her boyfriend shamed her for disposing of her menstrual pads in his bathroom while she was on her period.
This week, Reddit user u/ThrowAway568931 went viral when she asked in the popular forum r/AmITheA**hole if she was in the wrong for throwing away her used pads in her boyfriend’s trash can.
As she explained how her boyfriend called her “disgusting” for disposing of her menstrual pads at his house, many people have since called attention to what’s known as “period shaming”.
The 18-year-old girl revealed in the viral post that she’s been dating her 23-year-old boyfriend for about three months, and that this was the first time she spent the night over at his place while she was on her period. “Since yesterday, I’ve been changing my pads in his bathroom and each time, I wrapped the used pad in a plastic wrapper and put it in the trash can,” she wrote. “The trash can has a lid and there’s a plastic garbage bag in there, so the pad was touching nothing but the trash that was already inside.”
“I genuinely didn’t think it was a big deal, until my boyfriend took out the trash this morning and noticed the plastic wrappers in the bag,” she continued. “He knew they were the packaging for my pads because he had seen them before and quite outraged, he asked whether my used pads were also in that bag.”
When she informed him that she had disposed of her pads in his trash, she claimed that he called her “disgusting” and told her to “take out the trash myself.”
He then told his girlfriend that she should’ve “just kept” the pads in her purse until she got home, despite the fact that she was sleeping over at his apartment for the next three days. “He stated that he didn’t want my blood all over his trash and that I should find another way to dispose of my pads ASAP,” she said, adding: “I don’t think my attempt of an explanation why period blood isn’t as disgusting as he thinks it is got through to him and he’s quite set on his opinion.”
The Reddit user believed her boyfriend “was a bit childish” because she didn’t “understand how an adult straight man can be so disgusted by period blood,” but when she texted her 19-year-old brother, he agreed with her boyfriend.
“As I’ve been outnumbered, I wanted to see whether other people also believe what I did was an AH [a**hole] move.”
Unsurprisingly, her post was immediately flooded by thousands of Reddit users encouraging her to break up with her “immature” boyfriend.
“Please put him in the trash. Get yourself an adult boyfriend,” read one comment. “Women’s bodies are not gross. Imagine him having daughters with him behaving like this.”
“He is too immature to date, he’s not ready for a relationship with a woman,” another person wrote. “He’s not the one, not for you and not for anyone until he learns to be more accepting of bodies.”
Others pointed out that menstrual cycles are not something to be ashamed about, like one person who said: “I can’t imagine going through cramps, the hassle of leaks, and the overall discomfort of a period and on top of that having someone shame you for it.”
“You deserve to be with a man that understands that menstrual cycles are part of life and not something to be grossed out about,” they added.
While menstruation is a natural part of life, there has been much shame and stigma around “that time of the month.”
In 2018, a poll found that nearly half of women in the United States have experienced “period shaming” – being made to feel a sense of embarrassment simply because they were on their period.
The research – which was commissioned by feminine hygiene company THINX – even found that 42 per cent of women have experienced period-shaming, with one in five being made to have these feelings because of comments made by a male friend.
Meanwhile, 12 per cent of women have been shamed by a family member and one in 10 by a classmate. Additionally, 44 per cent of men admitted to having made a joke about or comment on their partner’s mood when she was on her period.
More than half of the men involved in the study also believed that it is inappropriate for women to openly mention their menstrual cycles in the workplace, which is likely why 73 per cent of women surveyed said they’ve hid a pad or tampon from view on their way to the bathroom.
After her post went viral on Reddit, she revealed in a follow-up post that she didn’t break up with her boyfriend just yet, but she has cut her three-day visit short. “I’ll be honest, I did post this hoping someone would back me up on this, but I didn’t expect to have hundreds of people telling me to break up with my boyfriend,” said u/ThrowAway568931.
“I think you’ll be pleased to hear that I’ve cut my visit short and gone home for the time being,” she explained. “No break-up I could talk about yet, but I’ve taken the comments to heart and if I don’t get some kind of explanation/apology in the near future, I’ll have to reconsider whether maintaining this relationship is actually worth it.”
