Traditionally, fathers are the ones to walk their daughters down the aisle. However, due to shifting norms and complicated family dynamics, new ways are emerging to embrace this custom, like having another family member accompany the bride or even walking to the altar solo.
Redditor beige_donut19’s daughter chose her uncle as her bridal escort instead of her stepfather. Such a decision was made for her when she overheard him saying she wasn’t his ‘real’ daughter. This majorly upset him but didn’t fully stop him from attending the wedding in visibly dampened spirits.
Scroll down to find the full story and a conversation with wedding business owners Jennifer Clark and Elizabeth Wexler, who kindly agreed to answer a few of our questions.
Due to shifting norms, the traditional father-daughter walk down the aisle is changing
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov / pexels (not the actual photo)
In this wedding, the bridal escort was the bride’s uncle and not the stepfather, which stirred quite a discussion
Image credits: Josh Willink / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Alison Leedham / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Lilen Diaz / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: beige_donut19
The tradition stems from the days of arranged marriages when a father ‘gave the daughter away’ and ensured the groom wouldn’t back out
The bride walking down the aisle is one of the most memorable moments of any wedding day. It functions as a sort of grand reveal and marks the beginning of the ceremony.
“The bridal walk down the aisle is the ultimate spotlight moment, a major core memory, and the one major moment on the wedding day that [a couple is] equally excited for,” says Nicole Harris, owner and creative director of Dreams in Detail. “It is filled with anticipation and excitement and nerves, and it holds so much meaning for everyone. It marks the start of the ceremony, the start of forever, and it changes the energy in the room.”
According to wedding historian Susan Waggoner, the tradition stems from the days of arranged marriages when a father ‘gave the daughter away’ and ensured the groom wouldn’t back out. It was seen as a kind of business transaction, as women were still considered to be the property of men back then.
Today, this act has acquired a new meaning and is seen as a way to support the next chapter in the soon-to-be-married couple’s life. “Modern weddings have really changed up the traditional father-daughter walk down the aisle. These days, you might see both parents walking with the bride, a close friend or relative stepping in, or even the bride choosing to walk alone,” explains wedding planner and owner of Elopers Jennifer Clark.
Image credits: Ignatios Kourouvasilis / pexels (not the actual photo)
Some brides choose to walk solo as a way to show their independence and that marrying their partner is their choice
Many modern brides are further reinventing the tradition and choosing alternative ways to walk to the altar. Clark says that the reasons behind this are often associated with their family dynamics. “Some may want to honor both parents equally, especially if both played significant roles in their lives. Others might not have a relationship with their father, or their father may not be present.”
“We have also seen a more modern take in which the couple, separately, walks alone either the entire way or halfway, and then meets up with their parents, symbolizing less of a “giving away” and more of a unification,” mentions Elizabeth Wexler, owner of Emlan Events.
An option that some LGBTQ+ couples have embraced is eliminating the walk altogether, breaking the heteronormal nature of the processional. It’s a great alternative for a couple who might have introverted tendencies, too. “Being front and center in front of all of your guests is certainly not for everyone!” says Wexler.
“It’s so important when planning that you do what feels right to you,” she concludes. “Just because a tradition exists, doesn’t mean it’s for you.”
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov / pexels (not the actual photo)
Some readers justified the author’s behavior
Meanwhile, others shamed her behavior
The bride also joined the discussion, posting an update
Image credits: SHVETS production / pexels (not the actual photo)
