Not all friendships are meant to last. Some may naturally fizzle out when people drift apart, while others abruptly end because of differences in values. Today’s story is an example of the latter.
Reddit user Litchlovers belonged to a small group of friends. One day at a restaurant, things came to a head when her two female pals asked a male companion to pick up the tab because “it’s a man’s role.” He refused.
The author’s uncle ended up paying the bill, but she eventually cut ties with both women. Based on her written account on the True Off My Chest subreddit, she seems content with her decision.
Some friendships are short-lived
Image credits: Zinkevych_D / envato (not the actual photo)
A woman had been close with two other ladies when their relationship took a sour turn during one lunch with a male companion
Image credits: piasupuntongpool / envato (not the actual photo)
The author’s uncle ended up paying for the bill
Image credits: Mike Mozart / flickr (not the actual photo)
She then cut ties with both women she’d been close with for seven years
Image credits: Litchlovers
Differences in values are a good enough reason to let go of a friendship
The author’s decision to cut ties with her two friends may seem drastic. But according to experts, the differences in their values are a good enough reason to let go.
“If you begin to notice that your core values differ and you don’t have anything in common with your friend anymore, it may be time to reflect on the role this friendship has in your life,” licensed psychologist Dr. Roxy Zarrabi wrote in an article for Psychology Today.
The incident likely made the author feel bad about herself, especially after the other friend got mad at her for shouldering the bill. Dr. Zarrabi says this is another valid reason.
There is a healthy way to break up with a friend
Breaking up is always difficult, whether it’s a romantic relationship or a close platonic one. But if you must go down this road, there is a healthy way to do it.
Author and clinical psychology graduate Arlin Cuncic advises against hostility or seeking revenge. However, she is all for ending things immediately, like ripping off a band-aid.
As Cuncic wrote in an article for Very Well Mind, abruptly ending a friendship is usually for a friend you’ve known for a long time and who you feel deserves that respect of closure and a last goodbye.
But while it may involve an immediate severing of connections, Cuncic still recommends leaving a final note before parting ways.
“If it helps, write a little script that expresses what you are feeling.”
The author took a similar approach by simply cutting communication with her two former friends. It was quick and easy, with no exchange of hurtful words. It was an unfortunate end but a necessary one nonetheless.
What do you think, dear readers? Was the author within reason with her decision?
The author answered some questions, but most commenters sided with her
