Getting stood up is an awful feeling. Apart from wasting your time waiting for someone who didn’t show up, you’re also dealing with embarrassing pity stares from everyone around you.
The author of today’s story went through this experience when her friends, family, and fiancé failed to show up for her birthday dinner. When she decided to cancel, she received a barrage of angry texts for supposedly wasting everyone’s efforts.
The woman was confused about what she did wrong and asked the AITAH subreddit for answers.
Getting stood up is embarrassing, to say the least
Image credits: AboutImages/Envato (not the actual photo)
A woman celebrating her birthday waited for an hour in a restaurant, but none of her guests showed up
Image credits: LightFieldStudios/Envato (not the actual photo)
To make matters worse, her friends ganged up on her for choosing to call it a night
Image credits: Responsible-Cow8862
People’s attitudes toward commitment are no longer the same
Gone are the days when people honored the yeses they gave. According to psychologist Averil Leimon, the “sense of commitment has been eroded.” This happens even in significant events like weddings, where invitations are sent out months in advance.
“Nowadays, despite the expense involved, sometimes, people don’t even show [up] on the day,” Leimon said in an interview with Elle.
Leimon points to a couple of factors, which include a possible narcissistic personality disorder. It results in a lack of emotional literacy, which entails reading and predicting other people’s feelings.
Such behaviors may also manifest in people who were spoiled as children. Leimon explains that being made to feel like the center of the universe could make a person inconsiderate toward others unless there are clear consequences.
“Chances are people never understand the impact of their actions as no one goes back and tells them,” Leimon said. “They just avoid or ostracise them in the future without explaining why.”
Image credits: Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
That unpleasant feeling after getting stood up may have aftershocks. According to author and licensed clinical psychotherapist Dr. LeslieBeth Wish, it may urge you to rethink your relationship with the person while also worrying about whether something bad happened to them.
A mature person would give the benefit of the doubt, which the author did. She accepted everyone’s justifications without question and waited an hour before leaving the restaurant.
However, being stood up is hurtful and embarrassing, and as Dr. Wish points out, you will never know the real reason why they failed to show up. In this case, you owe it to yourself to practice self-care.
“Your winning strategy is not to dwell on it or blame yourself—just move on,” Dr. Wish said in an interview with Elite Daily.
The woman’s decision to skip going out after her friends ruined her night was within reason. She didn’t deserve to be blamed and attacked.
The woman provided more information by responding to some comments
Most readers sided with the author, with some urging her to cut ties with her friends
But a couple of people blamed her for not canceling before leaving the restaurant
