A woman has been criticised online after revealing that she booked her entire wedding day without letting her fiance know a single detail, not even the date. On the popular forum Mumsnet, she explained that she has been engaged to her fiance for the last five years, and after finding her dream dress, she decided to organise the rest of her wedding.
However, many users thought she was manipulative after organising the day without letting him know a single detail, not even the date. She wrote: "So we have two young children, been engaged five years. He has dropped the odd hint. About a month ago, I found 'the dress' and thought I may as well continue with the plans. It's a smallish affair at a country house with 28 family and friends.
Read more: Woman at 'wits' end' over 10-year parking dispute with neighbour
"It's all planned for Easter Saturday, everyone knows apart from the groom! I have to get him to sign the marriage notice forms so plan to tell him on Valentine's Day. Any bright ideas on a fun way of breaking the news?"
Many Mumsnet users were shocked at the woman's post, with one commenting: "This has to be a joke". Another said: "Could you imagine if a man did this?" While another added: "There’s not enough popcorn in the world for this!"
One woman said that she was once put in this situation and found it manipulative. She said: "I had this done to me. It was f***ing awful. I had it annulled six weeks later and kicked him out it is not romantic it is manipulative and scheming. I would strongly advise against it." Another commenter said: "What are you going to do when he thinks you're a nutter for doing all of it without saying and then says he doesn't want to get married?"
"It comes across as quite manipulative, doing it in secret to make it very difficult for him to say no. If he had wanted to get married imminently then surely he would have engaged in conversations with you about doing so? And by not, he doesn’t want to? Lots of people have long engagements. If you want to marry him then you need to discuss this with him and ask when he thinks he might like to," added a commenter.
Some users couldn't understand why the woman decided to organise the day without consulting him first. One woman commented: "I'd hate this done to me and I'd hate to do it to my DP [dear partner]. There's a reason he's let the engagement drag on for five years." Another said: "What the actual f***? This is so far from normal behaviour, I don’t even know what to say."
Many commenters though it was "ridiculous" behaviour and that organising a wedding should be a "joint partnership". One person said: "You must be incredibly confident he will receive this well. Definitely would not happen with my DH - we're an equal partnership and we loved planning our wedding together. Assume you have booked the appointment to give notice, as it's not just signing the forms." While others worried about the guest list, commenting: "So he gets absolutely no say on who is invited - have you chosen the best man for him too?"
However, some thought the husband might like that she's taken charge and organised the whole day. One woman said: Only you know your DH [dear husband] to be - My DH [dear husband] would have loved it as it would have been no organisation for him!"
Read next:
- Nicola Bulley updates: Seven things dive expert Peter Faulding says don't add up
- Headteacher 'shot by husband before he killed daughter then himself'
- Price of hotel rooms in Cardiff rise by hundreds with some going for £600 a night for Beyoncé gig
- Tom Jones announces first Cardiff show in 20 years
- Family open shop from their garden where everything is free
