Having parents and in-laws buy clothing for your children can be a huge help to cut down costs as kids constantly outgrow their outfits. However, one mum said her controlling mother-in-law has overstepped boundaries by demanding she dresses her children in specific clothing on certain days.
The mum was left baffled after her in-law began dictating what her kids were wearing and demanding they wore everything she buys for them. The woman took to Mumsnet to share her mother-in-law's "strange" behaviour as she looked to seek advice on the situation from other users, Hull Live reports.
Captioning the post, 'Is this weird?' she wrote: "My mother in law (MIL) buys kids clothes and asked me to put them in them on specific days. I had already bought their Christmas outfits and put my kids in those, but put them in MIL clothes on other days.
"MIL claims I've not put my kids in the clothes she bought. I told her that I did, but that they were a bit big for them on Xmas day. So she said that she thinks I should put my daughter in the clothes on her birthday.
"I don't really want to, I like the clothes and happy to put her in it on a Sunday, but was looking for something different for her birthday. I am very lucky and get given lots of clothes for them by MIL and my own mum and ALWAYS put the kids in their clothes as often as I can."
The mum continued: "I don't distinguish and don't even remember who gave them what / or which ones I bought, I'm just happy I have clothes for them. My mother in law mentioned she had not seen my daughter in a dress she'd bought her and I know for a fact that she had worn the dress, but she just hasn't seen her in it yet.
"She sends me a pic of the dress, then takes pics of all the clothes she buys them and then double checks if they've been worn. I find that a bit strange and controlling. Especially because they always wear the clothes, but a dress isn't worn as often, so MIL just missed it.
"I'm a bit miffed at the insinuation that they don't wear her clothes AND the fact that she wants them worn on certain days - like the birthday and then seems offended if I don't do it."
The mum concluded the post by saying she wasn't really sure what to do about the situation as she reiterated: "My kids wear the clothes daily - except dresses, as I don't put them in dresses as often, so I don't know where it's coming from that there's a need to police it".
Many users rushed to the comments to side with the anonymous mum as they agreed her mother-in-law was being 'controlling' and that a 'firm boundary' had to be established. One person remarked: "This is extremely controlling of her.
"You don't give gifts to then tell people when and how to use them. Maybe just say politely that whilst you appreciate the gifts, it is up to you and your children."
Another reassured: "You won't sound 'horrible' (your words) if you start sticking up for yourself. If you already have an outfit in mind, tell her it's already sorted. You do not have to give explanations or reasons''.
One user predicted her in-law would eventually 'give up' as they advised: "She’s over-invested in this and needs to understand that she can’t dictate what they wear. Repeating that you already have an outfit for whatever occasion she mentions should reduce her pushing for the children to wear her clothes. She’ll give up eventually."
Whilst another suggested: "Just do what I did. Immediately try on the clothes and take photos, and send them to her. It's easy now. When my kids were small I had to use a film camera, get the photos developed and send them by snail mail!"
Another parent commented: "If she brings it up in convo, say that you appreciate the gifts and the children wear the outfits frequently. But as a mum, you enjoy picking their outfits for special occasions and find the pressure about who wears what on which days overbearing. Tell her her generosity is lovely but please stop adding more stress to your day."
Somebody else proposed the mum set's a 'firm boundary' as they wrote: "Let her go nuts! She will only make herself look like a fool! It's going to happen sometime anyway.
"If not now then when your kids do start choosing what they wear. Set a firm boundary and then ignore. For as long as need be."
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