A woman has been left furious after she discovered her mother-in-law tried to 'test' her to see whether she's good enough to marry her son. The 27-year-old explained how she and her boyfriend had recently been house hunting and were wanting to take their relationship to the next step.
They had also been looking at engagement rings and briefly discussing the possibility of starting a family one day together, the Mirror reports. However, she has now been left questioning whether or not she wants to join his family after his mother devised a 'test' on how well she'd perform as a wife, which included an assessment of her housekeeping and cooking skills.
When she refused, an argument broke out and ruined the trip they had made to visit his family. Taking to Reddit to explain the situation further, the woman wrote: "My boyfriend Eric, 29, and I have been dating for three years. I have met his family and they are friendly.
"We don't meet them very often because they live in my boyfriend's home country. While we were having dinner, we mentioned [moving in together] to his family as it's a big step in our relationship for us (we are not engaged yet.) His parents and brothers expressed their happiness for us then out of nowhere his youngest sister-in-law asked 'So is she going to take the test?'"
The woman said she was confused and asked 'what test' and was absolutely baffled to discover what she heard next. She explained: "My boyfriend's family has this tradition where the future mother-in-law tests future daughters-in-law to see if they are good enough for her sons.
"The test includes how well they can keep a home, their cooking skills and their overall manners when it comes to various situations. She added: "I found it ridiculous because if I'm good enough for my boyfriend, he should be the one deciding it and I don't fit in their targeted category. In his mum's words, you can't be a good stay-at-home-wife and stay-at-home-mum if you can't be a good homemaker and she wants to make sure of that."
She went on to add that her boyfriend's mother would expect her to quit her job to take on all of the housework herself to make her son's life easier. She continued: "His mum and all three of his brothers' wives are stay-at-home-mums and although I respect their choice, I am not quitting my career and did not under any circumstances make my boyfriend think I could compromise on that.
"I hate house chores and I would rather buy homemaking gadgets and hire staff, no matter the cost, than have to do chores myself. I told my boyfriend's mum all this and it caused an argument that eventually ruined dinner and in extension our visit."
The woman said her boyfriend "doesn't care" whether or not she goes to work or becomes a stay-at-home but believes she should have done the test because "it's just a test and it's not like they would have rejected her if she failed it". She said: "He thinks it's a fun tradition that everyone was looking forward to and I should have gone along with it anyways."
However, the woman disagreed that his family's sexist tradition was not amusing to her and asked other Reddit users for their thoughts. One user replied: "Fine. Let him take a test. He can rotate the tires, change the oil and maybe rework the transmission on a car, install a new muffler while he's at it.
"Then he can perform a series of tests of lifting heavy objects. How are his plumbing skills? He's going to need to know how to fix a leaky faucet.
"Your father and brothers and male friends can judge him on his manliness and decide if he is prepared to be a 'proper' husband. He might also need to prove he makes enough money to support you for when you have to stay home and perform all those 'wifely' duties. What an obnoxious family."
Another sarcastically wrote: "I had a similar thought. I love traditions! Let's start new ones. The men in my family will drop you in the woods with no resources a few days' walk from civilisation.
"If you make it back, the men will be at a judges' table with score cards to judge your wounds, health, and weight of leftover hunting winnings. Hope you score above a five! Good luck!"
A third user remarked: "No chance would I have accepted this nonsense. My free time is valuable. Spending it proving myself to folks who should accept me unconditionally is not even close to making the cut."
Somebody else agreed: "It sounds demeaning and patronising as hell. If your boyfriend thinks you're good enough for him, you shouldn't have to prove yourself to anyone else."
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