Time to wrap this blog up. Thanks for all your emails and Kurosawa tips, and don’t forget to join Barry Glendenning for Southampton v Manchester City. Night!
Match report: Spurs 2-1 Brighton
John Brewin was at the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium to see, well, all sorts.
Match report: Brentford 1-2 Newcastle
Alexander Isak continued his marvellous form to give Newcastle a fifth straight league win. Ben Bloom reports.
Match report: Fulham 0-1 West Ham
West Ham’s first away win since August lifts them to 13th in the table. Jacob Steinberg was at Craven Cottage.
Match report: Aston Villa 2-0 Nottm Forest
Another win for Unai Emery, another away defeat for Steve Cooper. Ben Fisher was at Villa Park for us.
Match report: Wolves 1-0 Chelsea
Will Unwin was at Molineux to watch Wolves beat Frank Lampard’s Chelsea. Here’s what he made of it.
And this is what it does to the table
Look at Aston Villa!
| Pos | Team | P | GD | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Arsenal | 29 | 43 | 72 |
| 2 | Man City | 28 | 45 | 64 |
| 3 | Newcastle | 29 | 27 | 56 |
| 4 | Man Utd | 29 | 7 | 56 |
| 5 | Tottenham Hotspur | 30 | 13 | 53 |
| 6 | Aston Villa | 30 | 1 | 47 |
| 7 | Brighton | 28 | 16 | 46 |
| 8 | Liverpool | 28 | 15 | 43 |
| 9 | Brentford | 30 | 7 | 43 |
| 10 | Fulham | 29 | -1 | 39 |
| 11 | Chelsea | 30 | -2 | 39 |
| 12 | Wolverhampton | 30 | -18 | 31 |
| 13 | West Ham | 29 | -12 | 30 |
| 14 | Crystal Palace | 29 | -15 | 30 |
| 15 | AFC Bournemouth | 30 | -29 | 30 |
| 16 | Leeds | 29 | -11 | 29 |
| 17 | Everton | 30 | -20 | 27 |
| 18 | Nottm Forest | 30 | -30 | 27 |
| 19 | Leicester | 30 | -12 | 25 |
| 20 | Southampton | 29 | -24 | 23 |
Premier League final scores
Aston Villa 2-0 Nottm Forest
Brentford 1-2 Newcastle
Fulham 0-1 West Ham
Leicester 0-1 Bournemouth
Tottenham 2-1 Brighton & Hove Albion
Wolves 1-0 Chelsea
Full time: Spurs 2-1 Brighton
A triumph for Spurs, if not the egregious soulcrusher popularly known as VAR. By most accounts, Brighton were robbed on at least two occasions, but Spurs stayed in the game and Harry Kane’s late goal settled the match.
Full time: Aston Villa 2-0 Nottm Forest
Unai Emery found Villa in 17th place; now, unless Brighotn equalise at Spurs, they will finish the day in sixth. Forest, alas, are going in the other direction.
Full time: Wolves 1-0 Chelsea
Matheus Nunes’s monstrous goal gives Wolves victory over Frank Lampard’s Chelsea – and lifts them to 12th in the table.
GOAL! Aston Villa 2-0 Nottm Forest (Watkins 90+5)
The main man seals victory for Villa with a lovely chip over Keylor Navas.
Updated
Full time: Leicester 0-1 Bournemouth
Philip Billing’s goal gives Bournemouth a massive victory at the King Power Stadium, and drops Leicester even deeper into the stinky-doo.
Updated
Full time: Brentford 1-2 Newcastle
Ivan Toney misses a good chance right at the death, and then the final whistle goes. Newcastle’s blip is well and truly over: they’ve won five in a row.
Full time: Fulham 0-1 West Ham
Harrison Reed’s own goal gives West Ham a priceless victory, one that lifts them, at least until tomorrow, to 13th in the table.
Spurs 2-1 Brighton
“We’re getting robbed blind this year,” says JPJ. “First the embarrassing non-call at Palace, then this garbage. Anything to keep Brighton out of Europe. Furious.”
It sounds like you’ve been well and truly VARred today, but come on, it’s not some grand conspiracy. If nothing else, everyone loves this Brighton team.
Updated
“Dear Rob,” says Joe Wilsdon. “The recent movie Living with Bill Niighy was based on Kurosawa’s “Ikiru”, which I recommend to you and anyone who will listen!”
With a couple of minutes remaining, these are the latest scores
Man Utd 2-0 Everton (FT)
Aston Villa 1-0 Nottm Forest
Brentford 1-2 Newcastle
Fulham 0-1 West Ham
Leicester 0-1 Bournemouth
Tottenham 2-1 Brighton & Hove Albion
Wolves 1-0 Chelsea
Southampton v Man City team news
Beast is back in the Manchester City team for their game at St Mary’s. Get the rest of the team news with Barry Glendenning.
Spurs 2-1 Brighton I said it was an expert finish from Kane, which will teach me to paraphrase people on the telly: I think it went in via a Brighton defender, though it was on target so it’s Kane’s goal.
GOAL! Spurs 2-1 Brighton (Kane 79)
An expert finish from Harry Kane puts Spurs ahead against Brighton. It isn’t against the run of play; it’s an affront to the run of play. And Spurs won’t care one iota, because that’s a huge goal for them.
Updated
Spurs 1-1 Brighton “Højberg kicked Mitoma in the shin in the penalty box when the latter was landing after jumping up to control the ball, and Mitoma fell down,” says Kári Tulinius. “It looked on first, second, third, fourth and fifth viewing like an obvious penalty, but VAR wasn’t interested. He’s having none of the luck today.”
Yes but was it clear and obvious?
Fulham 0-1 West Ham Andreas Pereira is denied by Lukasz Fabianski, a vital save that might even keep David Moyes in a job.
Updated
Spurs 1-1 Brighton
As things stand Spurs are five points behind the two Uniteds, having played a game more. But they play both before the end of the month, so they’re not out of the Champions League hunt yet.
That’s yet in italics.
Wolves 1-0 Chelsea
“Chelsea are no longer missing chances,” says Jon Rogers. “Super Frank has sorted that out right away. Hard to miss chances if you don’t make any.”
“You say you have never watched a Kurosawa film,” says Ian Copestake, “but every time you see a slow-motion fight between middle-aged men in a pub in a movie you are watching part of his legacy.”
Oh, so it was Kurosawa who directed Hegelian Dialectic?
Spurs 1-1 Brighton More VAR controversy at Spurs. Brighton were convinced that Mitoma was fouled by Hojbjerg, so much so that they kicked the ball out of play. But it wasn’t given, and Jeff Stelling is going off on one on Sky Sports.
I’d pay six figures to hear Roberto De Zerbi’s internal monologue right now.
Brentford 1-2 Newcastle “Isak has been on the periphery of this game - and I’m being generous with that description - but that finish was absolutely world class,” says Chris Paraskevas. “Newcastle have gone from tepid Kurosawa to explosive Leone in this second half!”
You wouldn’t like Mary Waltz when she’s angry.
Spurs 1-1 Brighton Apparently both managers were sent off for “failing to control their technical area”. Hmm.
Updated
Wolves 1-0 Chelsea “Any reason to have optimistic views for Chelsea here?” asks Richard Ford. “Can a point be saved?”
I can’t even see the game, so I might not be the best person to ask. But I have just looked up when Chelsea last finished in the bottom half of the table: it was 1995-96.
Leicester 0-1 Bournemouth Harvey Barnes has gone off injured for Leicester, with Tete replacing him. Leicester are truly, madly, deeply in the malodorous stuff.
NO GOAL! Brentford 1-2 Newcastle
Callum Wilson’s goal has been ruled out for a debatable handball, so it’s back to 2-1 at the Gtech Community Stadium.
Bundesliga full-times
Dortmund 2-1 Union Berlin
Freiburg 0-1 Bayern
That should – should – mean it’s a two-horse race in the Bundesliga.
Premier League latest
Man Utd 2-0 Everton (FT)
Aston Villa 1-0 Nottm Forest
Brentford 1-3 Newcastle
Fulham 0-1 West Ham
Leicester 0-1 Bournemouth
Tottenham 1-1 Brighton & Hove Albion
Wolves 1-0 Chelsea
Wolves 1-0 Chelsea Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang is on for Chelsea, thus beginning another fresh start.
Updated
“As I so often the case, Mary Waltz is talking absolute sense,” says Tom Hopkins. “Not only are Kurosawa’s movies great in themselves (Yojimbo for when you’re young and full of beans, Ran and Ikiru for when time starts to catch up with you), so many other great movies liberally borrow from them. No Yojimbo, no Fistful of Dollars. No Hidden Fortress no Star Wars. No Rashomon no a whole bunch of things (including on of the very best throwaway Simpsons gags).”
GOAL! Brentford 1-3 Newcastle (Wilson 65)
Whatever Eddie Howe said at half-time…
Newcastle have been sensational since the break, and the substitute Callum Wilson has put them 3-1 up.
Both managers sent off! Spurs 1-1 Brighton
It’s fair to say this has been coming: Cristian Stellini and Roberto De Zerbi have both been sent off. On Sky Sports, Tim Sherwood says he didn’t see what Stellini did wrong, but De Zerbi has been looking for a square go ever since he read the morning headlines.
Updated
Tottenham 1-1 Brighton
“Rob,” says Alexandra Ashton, “I don’t think this squad is worse than either Newcastle or Brighton, our other “top 4” rivals. We have one of the best strikers in the world, the Premier League golden boot winner last season, a World Cup winner (Romero, not Lloris), and a team that should be doing better, in my eyes.
“Players we signed last summer: Bissouma, Richarlison, Perisic, Lenglet, Spence, Udogie, Forster. I really did think we could make a push for third this season back then, and most supporters I talked to thought we could do that and win the League/FA Cup.
“Instead, we’re floundering. Sometimes the table does lie, because Tottenham Hotspur are inexplicably in fifth place. We do not deserve to be there. Brighton, Liverpool, Chelsea, or Brentford do. (In a normal season, Chelsea and Liverpool would be above us and we’d be seventh, something I find more realistic.)
“Also, to Mary Waltz, Ran is one of my favourite films. I do understand Chris Paraskevas’ gripe, though: I feel as if many of Kurosawa’s movies suffer from him trying so hard to make a point that he sometimes forgets the entertainment of the audience. Not so far as to make them not fantastic, mind.”
I take all those points, but they have been a bit unfortunate with the injury to Bentancur and Son’s loss of form. They aren’t good enough to carry either Kane or Son for more than the odd poor game here and there.
Updated
Spurs 1-1 Brighton It has all kicked off on the touchline, with Roberto De Zerbi front and centre.
GOAL! Brentford 1-2 Newcastle (Isak 61)
Alexander Isak, Newcastle’s new icon, has put them ahead with a masterful finish. That’s his fifth goal in as many games. It sounds like Newcastle have been fantastic since half-time.
Updated
NO GOAL! Spurs 1-1 Brighton
Another Brighton goal is ruled out for handball. This decision, it seems, was entirely without controversy.
Updated
GOAL! Spurs 1-2 Brighton (Welbeck 55)
Danny Welbeck puts Brighton ahead with a deflected shot that slithers through Hugo Lloris. Sounds like a goalkeeping error.
Premier League latest
Man Utd 2-0 Everton (FT)
Aston Villa 1-0 Nottm Forest
Brentford 1-1 Newcastle
Fulham 0-1 West Ham
Leicester 0-1 Bournemouth
Tottenham 1-1 Brighton & Hove Albion
Wolves 1-0 Chelsea
Bundesliga: Dortmund 2-1 Union Berlin The substitute Youssoufa Moukoko has put Dortmund back in front!
Updated
GOAL! Brentford 1-1 Newcastle (Raya og 54)
Newcastle are level! They’ve been excellent since half-time, and now Joelinton’s shot has gone into the net off David Raya. At the moment it’s being credited as a Raya own goal. And given the state of play at the top of the Guardian sport fantasy league, let’s hope it stays that way!
Updated
Nottm Forest 5-2 QPR (1988-89)
“Fans run onto the pitch at City Ground and Clough slaps them for their trouble,” says Alun Pugh. “Mirror back page the following morning: ‘The shit hits the fan’. Priceless.”
On the 16th anniversary of Brian Clough’s passing, a reminder of how Old Big ‘Ead dealt with pitch invaders...
— A Funny Old Game (@sid_lambert) September 20, 2020
pic.twitter.com/iId1WQ0O6I
Updated
Spurs 1-1 Brighton
“No controversy re: the Mitoma goal - it was a handball - clearly controlled it off his forearm,” says Nick Triani. “Definitely a good performance from Brighton - but in control, not creating that much. Spurs are pressing and countering and have had a few good chances themselves. Both teams could do better around the box.”
Not sure I agree with that – assuming this is still accurate, I think it’s probably okay. But I can understand the VAR man not overruling the on-field decision (handball) on the grounds that he couldn’t be 100 per cent sure.
Should Kaoru Mitoma's goal have counted? 🤔
— Match of the Day (@BBCMOTD) April 8, 2023
Or was it handball?
There was just millimetres in it!
📲 Reaction on the @BBCSport app #BBCFootball #TOTBHA pic.twitter.com/WPhPe4Dy1c
GOAL! Aston Villa 1-0 Nottm Forest (Traore 48)
Bertrand Traore, who came on for the injured Leon Bailey in the first half, gives Villa the lead with his second goal in as many games.
Updated
Peep peep! The second halves are under way, and Daniel Iversen has just made an excellent save to stop Bournemouth going 2-0 up at the King Power Stadium. It sounds like Leicester have been wretched.
Half-time reading
Diego Maradona and Brian Clough are the two football figures I will never, ever tire of reading about. Don’t care if I’ve read the story before; don’t care if it has a 95:5 legend:truth ratio. Just feed me.
“As far as film critiques go I am a firm believer in to each his own,” says Mary Waltz, “but seeing the Seven Samurai dissed hurt my soul. From Seven Samurai to Kagemusha and Ran, Kurosawa is brilliant, many of his films are well worth multiple viewings.”
I’m slightly ashamed to say that I’ve never seen a Kurosawa film. And that, ladies and gents, is why I have been incarcerated in the Guardian MBM bunker for the past 19 years.
Liverpool v Arsenal (Sunday, 4.30pm)
“Greetings from Bosnia!” writes Admir Pajic. “As an Arsenal fan, I have to admit I’ve been really excited and nervous ahead of tomorrow’s game against Liverpool. It feels like one of those defining moments of the football decade to the extent my brain has been bombing itself with stats even Opta would found too exotic to state, i.e.:
1) if selected tomorrow, Jesus is going to play his first game on Easter since arrival to England,
2) since the last Diogo Jota’s goal for Liverpool (10th April 2022) Darwin Nunez has scored against Liverpool (13th April), signed for Liverpool and has scored 14 goals in all competitions for them,
3) if Brighton win today and Arsenal win tomorrow, Arsenal will secure their first finish above Spurs since 2015-16.”
I shudder to think what state you’ll be in at kick-off tomorrow!
“As a Spurs fan and as an Ecuadorian, this game divides my loyalties,” says Matthew Carpenter-Arevalo. “I hate to see Spurs struggle, but I love to see Moises Caicedo thrive, and I think Pervis Estupiñán is the league’s most underrated fullback. Both come from extremely humble origins, and both are thriving through hard work and talent.”
Ecuador have definitely got a you-know-what.
Bundesliga: Dortmund 1-1 Union Berlin Another Dortmund title challenge may be going up in smoke: Kevin Behrens has equalised for Union Berlin.
Updated
“Couldn’t you get a US reporter who has access to all games do MBM for the 3pm games?” asks Ryan O’Connor. “I’m sitting in NY and have three games on, two on different iPads and Spurs v Brighton on the big TV. And yes Brighton are in total control.”
I’m sure we could, but that won’t put bread or spread on my table, never mind both.
I forgot to answer the quiz question about who is second, behind Son Heung-min, on the list of top Asian goalscorers in the Premier League. It is, of course… entirely dependent on how you define Asia in a football context.
If you include Australia, the answer is Mark Viduka with 92. If you don’t include Australia but do include Israel, it’s Yossi Benayoun with 31. And if you don’t include either of those, it’s Park Ji-sung with 17 (although it won’t be long before Kaoru Mitoma overtakes him – he’s on seven at the moment).
Half time
After an eventful 45 minutes, which included monstrous goals from Matheus Nunes and Son Heung-min, an Ivan Toney penalty that was saved, an Ivan Toney penalty that wasn’t saved and some glorious football from Brighton, these are the Premier League scores.
Man Utd 2-0 Everton (FT)
Aston Villa 0-0 Nottm Forest
Brentford 1-0 Newcastle
Fulham 0-1 West Ham
Leicester 0-1 Bournemouth
Tottenham 1-1 Brighton & Hove Albion
Wolves 1-0 Chelsea
The as-it-stands Premier League table
West Ham are 13th and in a European quarter-final! Moyes in!
| Pos | Team | P | GD | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Arsenal | 29 | 43 | 72 |
| 2 | Man City | 28 | 45 | 64 |
| 3 | Man Utd | 29 | 7 | 56 |
| 4 | Newcastle | 29 | 25 | 53 |
| 5 | Tottenham Hotspur | 30 | 12 | 51 |
| 6 | Brighton | 28 | 17 | 47 |
| 7 | Brentford | 30 | 9 | 46 |
| 8 | Aston Villa | 30 | -1 | 45 |
| 9 | Liverpool | 28 | 15 | 43 |
| 10 | Fulham | 29 | -1 | 39 |
| 11 | Chelsea | 30 | -2 | 39 |
| 12 | Wolverhampton | 30 | -18 | 31 |
| 13 | West Ham | 29 | -12 | 30 |
| 14 | Crystal Palace | 29 | -15 | 30 |
| 15 | AFC Bournemouth | 30 | -29 | 30 |
| 16 | Leeds | 29 | -11 | 29 |
| 17 | Nottm Forest | 30 | -28 | 28 |
| 18 | Everton | 30 | -20 | 27 |
| 19 | Leicester | 30 | -12 | 25 |
| 20 | Southampton | 29 | -24 | 23 |
GOAL! Brentford 1-0 Newcastle (Toney 45+1 pen)
Third time lucky for Ivan Toney. He had a goal disallowed and a penalty saved, but now he has beaten Nick Pope to give Brentford a deserved lead.
Toney went the same way as the first penalty, so did Pope – but this time Toney lifted it over Pope and into the corner. In the circumstances, that’s a fine penalty.
Updated
Spurs 1-1 Brighton “Brighton have looked by far the better side, but (depressingly) this is the best Spurs’ve looked in a few matches now,” says Alexandra Ashton. “At least we’re attempting to press, and getting the ball forward instead of just sitting deep. But we could, and likely should, be down 2-1 or 3-1 already. A shambles.”
The team just isn’t that good, is it? I still think their results (not to be confused with performances/entertainment) this season have been slightly above par in the league.
Another penalty to Brentford!
Alexander Isak fouls Rico Henry, and VAR gives Brentford a second penalty! Surely Ivan Toney can’t, etc.
Bundesliga Matthijs de Ligt has scored early in the second half for Bayern Munich, who lead at Freiburg.
GOAL! Leicester 0-1 Bournemouth (Billing 40)
James Maddison gets an assist – for Bournemouth! A dodgy backpass goes straight to Philip Billing, who gives Bournemouth a deserved lead. Leicester are in serious bother here.
Updated
Spurs 1-1 Brighton It seems Roberto De Zerbi’s problem with Cristian Stellini stems from a press conference yesterday in which Stellini said De Zerbi was simply carrying on Graham Potter’s work. This had a negative impact on De Zerbi’s internal temperature, and he looks spectacularly up for today’s game.
GOAL! Spurs 1-1 Brighton (Dunk 34)
Brighton have finally equalised, with Lewis Dunk heading Solly March’s header past Hugo Lloris.
Updated
“Son scores his 100th goal and Mitoma is unlucky to have a goal chalked off,” says Robert Turner. “As a father with a son playing for a J League youth team it’s wonderful to see Asian players succeeding in the Premier League. Thanks to Son and Mitoma more premeir league scouts are going to be played attention to the J and K leagues.”
And the Scottish Premier League.
Spurs 1-0 Brighton
“It’s never clear to me whether the Guardian’s 3pm MBMer actually has access to matches …” says Mark Childs. WE DON’T, LET ME CONFIRM IT FOR YOU, WE DON’T, WE NEVER HAVE, AND UNTIL THEY LIFT THIS GODFORSAKEN BLACKOUT, WE NEVER WILL! “If you don’t, can confirm that Brighton are in total control and seem far superior to Spurs. The lovely Son goal, a debatable handball that ruled out a goal, and missing the target by a thumping shot off the post are just details that mean the score is misleading.”
Wolves 1-0 Chelsea My days, that Nunes goal is an absolute belter. He sauntered towards a bouncing ball on the right side of the area, with the angle far too tight for a shot… and then bulleted it over Kepa and into the far corner.
Updated
Tottenham 1-0 Brighton And it sounds like Brighton are hammering Spurs 0-1. “It’s a footballing lesson,” says Tim Sherwood on Sky Soccer Saturday.
GOAL! Wolves 1-0 Chelsea (Nunes 32)
Matheus Nunes smashes Wolves into a deserved lead against Chelsea. From the reaction of the fellas on Sky Sports, it was a helluva goal.
Updated
Bundesliga half-times
Dortmund 1-0 Union Berlin
Freiburg 0-0 Bayern Munich
POPE SAVES TONEY'S PENALTY!
Brentford 0-0 Newcastle Of all the gin joints in all the world... It sounds like it was a poor penalty, too, and Pope saved it fairly easily.
Updated
“Is it Mark Viduka?” says Simon Frank. “What with Australia playing in the Asian Federation since 06.”
Right, excluding Australians (and Chris Wood for that matter).
PENALTY TO BRENTFORD! Imagine if Ivan Toney finally missed a penalty against this lot.
Premier League latest scores
Man Utd 2-0 Everton (FT)
Aston Villa 0-0 Nottm Forest
Brentford 0-0 Newcastle
Fulham 0-1 West Ham
Leicester 0-0 Bournemouth
Tottenham 1-0 Brighton & Hove Albion
Wolves 0-0 Chelsea
Leicester 0-0 Bournemouth It sounds like Bournemouth have been the better team so far. I cannot make head nor tail of what has happened to Leicester since they put eight past Aston Villa and Spurs in early February.
GOAL! Fulham 0-1 West Ham (Reed og 23)
West Ham have started well at Craven Cottage, and now they lead through an unfortunate own goal from Harrison Reed.
Strange thing is, David Moyes apparently needs a result today to avoid the sack, yet West Ham could conceivably finish 12th and win a European trophy.
Updated
DISALLOWED GOAL! Spurs 1-0 Brighton (Mitoma)
A bit of controversy at Spurs, where Kaoru Mitoma has had a goal ruled out for what sounds like a non-existent handball.
Updated
Leicester 0-0 Bournemouth
“Good news - Brendan’s gone,” says Graham Randall. “Bad news - Not sure what the potential Jesse Marsch appointment is about. Doesn’t make sense. If we were going to appoint him, should have happened at the international break. Now the board have wasted two home games and it’s off to Man City next week. Just stinks of relegation.”
I was thinking where a Leicester relegation might rank on the list of shocks/best teams to go down. Feels like West Ham 2002-03 (Cole, Carrick, Di Canio, Johnson, Bowyer, Kanoute, Sinclair) are still the gold standard, but Leicester wouldn’t be far behind.
Tottenham 1-0 Newcastle Brighton Son is also the first Asian players to score 100 Premier League goals. Without cheating, who is second on the list?
Updated
Brentford 0-0 Newcastle “Brentford all over Newcastle, Rob,” writes Chris Paraskevas. “Not dissimilar to the waves of attack launched by the bandits on the villagers in Seven Samurai (which I watched for the first time earlier tonight and found a little tedious). The Toon need to sort themselves out or it’ll be a long afternoon...”
GOAL! Spurs 1-0 Brighton (Son 10)
Son Heung-min’s 100th Premier League goal, a spectacular curling shot that had the grizzled old chaps on Sky Soccer Saturday purring, has put Spurs ahead against Brighton.
Updated
“Dundee United fans will be following the games at St. Johnstone and Aberdeen closely today,” says Simon McMahon. “They play Ross County and Kilmarnock respectively, and United, two points behind County at the foot of the table, will be hoping for two home wins before they meet Hibs at Tannadice tomorrow. Today’s other SPL games are Hearts v St. Mirren and Motherwell v Livingston.”
Good news from Pittodrie, where Aberdeen are already ahead.
NO GOAL: Brentford 0-0 Newcastle
The most predictable intervention of the day: Ivan Toney was fractionally offside, so the goal has been ruled out.
GOAL! Brentford 1-0 Newcastle (Toney 8)
The most predictable goal of the day: Ivan Toney has bitten the hand that didn’t want to feed him, giving Brentford an early lead against Newcastle.
Spurs 0-0 Brighton Apparently the Brighton manager Roberto De Zerbi has already kicked off with Cristian Stellini, though nobody seems to know why.
Edit: apparently this happened before the game. Roberto De Zerbi really is redefining football management.
Updated
On this day in 1990… the greatest pair of matches in FA Cup history.
The odd/sad thing is that, by validating live football so spectacularly, the FA Cup’s greatest day was also the one that inadvertently started its demise.
Peep peep! The 3pm Premier League games are underway. And in Germany, Donyell Malen has made it Dortmund 1-0 Union Berlin. As it stands, it’s too early to show you the as-it-stands table.
Updated
“Rob, morning greetings from California!” says Mary Waltz. “I know the Chelsea fans are feeling waves of nostalgia about Frank but do the players actually care at this point? Isn’t Frank just another manager on the Chelsea manager carousel that will be gone soon enough?”
That’s true, though you could say that about a lot of permanent appointments, and at least, for once, everyone at Chelsea knows where they stand. It feels like a free hit.
Bundesliga The top four are involved in two big games this afternoon. After 25 minutes, both matches are goalless.
Dortmund 0-0 Union Berlin
Freiburg 0-0 Bayern Munich
Man Utd 2-0 Everton
Jamie Jackson was at Old Trafford for us, and indeed still is: here’s his match report.
Frank’s back
"It's a pleasure to represent this club." 🔷
— Sky Sports Premier League (@SkySportsPL) April 8, 2023
Frank Lampard is 🔙 in the Chelsea dugout pic.twitter.com/x3NsmVYlXg
Full time: Celtic 3-2 Rangers Celtic move 12 points clear after a marvellously unfettered Old Firm derby. Kyogo Furuhashi scored twice, as did James Tavernier – but the game was ultimately decided when Jota scored Celtic’s third goal.
Full time: Man Utd 2-0 Everton Scott McTominay and Anthony Martial were the scorers in a very comfortable win for United, though it wasn’t good news: Marcus Rashford went off in the second half with a groin problem.
GOAL! Celtic 3-2 Rangers (Tavenier 79) Hello! Rangers goal machine James Tavernier has scored his second, and they’re not out of the Old Firm derby just yet.
Leicester v Bournemouth team news
Your Foxes, set for #LEIBOU 📝 💪
— Leicester City (@LCFC) April 8, 2023
Let's get this, Lestah! pic.twitter.com/UrqwKLHYbO
📝 𝗧𝗘𝗔𝗠 𝗡𝗘𝗪𝗦 📝
— AFC Bournemouth 🍒 (@afcbournemouth) April 8, 2023
🔺 Mepham starts
🔺 Rothwell also in
🔺 Moore back on bench
Our line up for #LEIBOU 🔥🔥 pic.twitter.com/KjGdlLuLI6
Tottenham v Brighton & Hove Albion team news
Danny Welbeck is preferred up front to Evan Ferguson, a hammer blow to any gormless hacks who wrote about Ferguson in the build up to this game.
Unchanged for #TOTBHA 👊 pic.twitter.com/moUk3d65UU
— Tottenham Hotspur (@SpursOfficial) April 8, 2023
TEAM NEWS. 🚨 Here's our starting XI to take on Tottenham today. 📝
— Brighton & Hove Albion (@OfficialBHAFC) April 8, 2023
📲 https://t.co/S3j1TIeLz3 // #BHAFC ❤️🔥 pic.twitter.com/uEAUnZkahP
Updated
Wolves v Chelsea team news
One or two surprises in Frank Lampard’s first XI. Ben Chilwell is dropped/rested, with Raheem Sterling coming back into the side. That means a switch to a back four. There’s no sign of Mason Mount and N’golo Kante, who are both presumably injured.
3️⃣ Three changes from #NFOWOL.
— Wolves (@Wolves) April 8, 2023
➡️ J. Gomes, Podence and Costa all in.
©️ Captain Kilman.
How we line-up to take on @ChelseaFC.
🐺📋 @AstroPay_OK pic.twitter.com/ROQAXTYLPy
Your Chelsea! 🤝#WolChe pic.twitter.com/YKz5b0vo7P
— Chelsea FC (@ChelseaFC) April 8, 2023
Updated
GOAL! Celtic 3-1 Rangers (Jota 73) Celtic are heading another Old Firm derby win and, surely, their 11th title in 12 years.
Fulham v West Ham team news
The teams are in! 📋#FULWHU pic.twitter.com/0cZNVTSuBh
— Fulham Football Club (@FulhamFC) April 8, 2023
Our side to face Fulham ⚒️ pic.twitter.com/BPgjDxz1wo
— West Ham United (@WestHam) April 8, 2023
Brentford v Newcastle team news
Eddie Howe had a big call to make, and he’s made it: the in-form Alexander Isak starts up front ahead of the in-front Callum Wilson.
Allan Saint-Maximin is out with a minor hamstring injury.
🐝 Your Bees to take on Newcastle United this afternoon 💪#BRENEW | #BrentfordFC | @bluejeansnet
— Brentford FC (@BrentfordFC) April 8, 2023
⚫️ HOWAY NEWCASTLE! ⚪️#BRENEW pic.twitter.com/G4KBWT7jYx
— Newcastle United FC (@NUFC) April 8, 2023
Updated
Aston Villa v Nottm Forest team news
This is your Aston Villa team to face Nottingham Forest. 👊 #AVLNFO pic.twitter.com/irvGxDJTKp
— Aston Villa (@AVFCOfficial) April 8, 2023
Introducing your #NFFC side to take on @AVFCOfficial...
— Nottingham Forest FC (@NFFC) April 8, 2023
📋 #AVLNFO pic.twitter.com/mmKAxqiCyI
GOAL! Man Utd 2-0 Everton (Martial 71) Just as things were getting nervy at Old Trafford, Anthony Martial has made it 2-0 after a lapse in concentration from Seamus Coleman.
GOAL! Celtic 2-1 Rangers (Kyogo 62) The brilliant Kyogo Furuhashi has scored his second for Celtic, who are now on course to go 12 points clear of Rangers.
Pre-match reading
Half time: Celtic 1-1 Rangers
There’s a game going on in Glasgow as well. Kyogo Furuhashi put the champions/leaders ahead with a smooth finish before James Tavernier scored a mighty free-kick on the stroke of half-time. Tom Bassam is watching that one.
Half time: Man Utd 1-0 Everton
Manchester United created a gazillion chances at Old Trafford, but Antony and Marcus Rashford were wasteful and Scott McTthausTominay had to show them how it was done with a smart finish from Jadon Sancho’s quick-witted pass. Our very own box-to-box midfielder, Barry Glendenning, is following and watching that game.
Updated
Preamble
Hello and welcome to the next four hours of your life: reading a man who is watching some other men watch some football. Being on Clockwatch duty doesn’t always stir the soul, I won’t lie to you. But despite the inherent limitations of a format in which many of the readers can legally watch the action and the writer effing jolly well can’t, today’s Premier League fixture list is pretty exciting.
With the exception of the title race*, all the mini-leagues (Champions League qualification, Europa League/Conference qualification, Championship non-qualification) are represented, and there’s nothing even resembling a dead rubber.
The entertainment also includes the first game of Frank Lampard’s second spell at Chelsea, and potentially the last game of David Moyes’ second spell at West Ham.
These are the matches we’ll be following, though not watching due to arguably antediluvian broadcasting restrictions.
Man Utd 1-0 Everton (12.30pm)
Aston Villa v Nottm Forest
Brentford v Newcastle
Fulham v West Ham
Leicester v Bournemouth
Tottenham v Brighton & Hove Albion
Wolves v Chelsea
* Manchester City play Southampton at 5.30pm
