Willis Halaholo hopes his injury woes are behind him as he targets a return to the Wales squad and reveals he is 'haunted' by missing out on a crack at the All Blacks last year.
The hot-stepping centre, who was raised in Auckland, was a front-runner to play against New Zealand 12 months ago but endured a tough 24 hours that resulted in him being ruled out of the Test. First he learned of his aunt's passing and the following morning returned a positive Covid test.
Those events came in the middle of knee and hamstring injuries that have plagued his international career. But, after returning to full fitness and getting his first start for Cardiff last weekend in the win over the Scarlets, he is now desperate to be in the thick of it when the All Blacks return to Cardiff on November 5.
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"I'd love to be involved," he said. "Catching Covid and missing out on that New Zealand game still haunts me. I'd love to put my hand up but I've just got to try and get the starts under my belt, get the minutes going.
"Then I think I can just let the rugby do the talking."
A run of games is something that Halaholo has struggled to achieve in recent times and injuries have a cruel way of creeping up around international windows.
A serious knee injury hit shortly after being named in the Wales squad for the first time in 2019. Then came the Covid case that wrecked his 2021 autumn campaign.
Following that, he battled hamstring trouble during the 2022 Six Nations, played against Italy, and then tore the muscle completely for Cardiff against Glasgow a week later.
That injury ruled him out of the recent summer tour, which robbed him of the opportunity to right the wrongs of the Italy defeat and resulted in more pain.
"It was tough mentally," he recalled. "Just before the Six Nations I pulled my hammy going into the camp and I was struggling to get back to fitness.
"Then I probably wasn't in the right place when we played Italy, in terms of conditioning and I just tried to push that hammy. Then I came back and played against Glasgow and it went again.
"Mentally it was tough but I got the chance to go back to New Zealand, switch off, get my mind right and just refocus on how I can manage my body a bit better.
"The hammy is looking good and feeling good."
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When asked if he feels he's due a fair chance on the international stage, he smiles for a moment as he considers his response.
"I don't know man, my whole career has been like that," he says. "I've always been hit with something and now my international career has been a bit bumpy with injuries and Covid.
"I've just got to keep fighting through it and see what I can do. Your career doesn't last long. I've got four kids who motivate me so I'll keep going.
"Sometimes I do like to have that underdog status and having to fight through things probably does bring the best out of me. But on the other hand, sometimes a bit of that bad luck does get to me sometimes.
"It's all part of the journey and it makes you stronger."
Cardiff are now modifying Halaholo's training, which is commonplace in professional sport, to ensure they can get the best out of him and make him more robust at the same time. He has barely trained this week since the win over the Scarlets in order for him to be firing on all cylinders when the Dragons come to the Arms Park this Saturday night.
The Blue and Blacks have been careful with him this season, giving him three appearances off the bench before his first start of the season at Parc y Scarlets.
But the man himself is also learning what he can do in order to help stave off injuries. And he hopes he can stay fit now and enjoy a run of matches, which will likely send him into Wales camp at the end of the month full of confidence.
"I'm starting to understand my body a little bit more, just being new to international rugby and trying to adapt. I'm trying to see what I can work on off the field in terms of how I can better my recovery.
"I was happy to get through 80 minutes on Saturday, so it's getting there.
"I'm really hungry for it now. I think it was probably a good thing for me, getting those minutes off the bench and slowly building because the last 12 to 18 months I've just been struck down with niggles and injuries.
"It's another derby week. The boys will be motivated to bring a bit of consistency and back up our performance last week. I love being part of the derbies."
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