Jokes about Will Smith, Chris Rock, Kate Bush, Holly Willoughby and Phillip Schofield all feature in the Top 10 Christmas cracker jokes for 2022.
Topical stories from the past 12 months have been used as material for the best festive cracker gags, which were voted for by the British public to determine the winning one-liner.
The altercation between Smith and Rock on stage at the Oscars in March was referenced in one joke. It reads: “Why are Will Smith and Chris Rock not having turkey this Christmas? Because they’ve got beef.”
One joke alluded to the cost of living crisis, while another referenced Willoughby and Schofield’s alleged queue jump at the Queen’s lying in state.
TV channel Gold challenged the British public to tweet original festive gags to enter the competition. Entries were shortlisted by a panel of judges, led by comedy critic Bruce Dessau, which were then put to an anonymous public vote of 2,000 British adults.
The runner up, “Why does Kate Bush need to turn the heating off? She’s running up that bill,” is a reference to the cost of living crisis and the resurging popularity of Kate Bush after season four of Netflix’s Stranger Things featured Bush’s 1985 hit “Running Up That Hill”.
The song inspired a viral TikTok trend in which users pretended to levitate.
The winning joke reads: “What type of peas ruin Christmas Dinner? MPs.”
“After another year of ups and downs the British public has delivered the laughs, with this year’s modern Christmas cracker jokes covering topics from the rising cost of living to queue-jumping presenters and politicians performing u-turns,” said comedy critic Bruce Dessau, who led the Gold judging panel.
Dessau said the jokes proved that “once again we’re a nation with an unrelenting sense of humour”.
Here are the Top 10 festive jokes for 2022:
1. What type of peas ruin Christmas Dinner? MPs
2. Why does Kate Bush need to turn the heating off? She’s running up that bill.
3. How did King Charles III sign his Christmas cards to his family? The Artist Formerly Known As Prince
4. What’s the difference between Liz Truss and a shepherd? One U-turns and the other turns ewes
5. Why are Will Smith and Chris Rock not having turkey this Christmas? Because they’ve got beef
6. Why has Santa been banned from sooty chimneys? Carbon footprints
7. What crisps do Phil and Holly serve at their Christmas party? Skips.
8. Why are the Government having problems with their own version of the Christmas Nativity? They can’t find three wise men
9. What do people heating their homes and wrapping paper have in common this Christmas? Both of them are getting ripped off
10. How can you keep your home warm this Christmas? Tinsulation
