CHELSEA FEARS
Since taking over Chelsea, Todd Boehly and Behdad Eghbali have spent so much money trying to emulate a certain Premier League club on the south coast that it’s a wonder they didn’t just buy Brighton in the first place. They hired Brighton’s manager and his team of five backroom staff, just two of whom – a goalkeeping coach and data analyst – are still at the club just over a year on. They bought Marc Cucurella, followed more recently by Robert Sánchez and Moisés Caicedo from Brighton, as well as poaching the Seagulls’ head of player recruitment. In all, Chelsea have contributed more than £220m to the Brighton war chest in the past 13 months – the cost of more than two Amex Stadiums, 84 Kaoru Mitomas or 44,000,000 consecutive goes on “the speed demon of Brighton Palace Pier” that is the Turbo Coaster (minimum height: 1m 03cm).
To say Chelsea haven’t got much bang for all those bucks would be quite the understatement, as with each lorry load of cash the Chelsea beancounters reverse into the Falmer loading bay, their club descends further into outright farce while the beneficiaries of their extreme largesse look increasingly likely to take their place as one of the Premier League’s Big Six grandees. On Wednesday at Stamford Bridge, Boehly and Eghbali could end up with further omelettes’ worth of egg on their maws when their expensively assembled but hopelessly out-of-tune Brighton tribute act host the club they have failed so dismally to be in the Rumbelows Cup.
Having scored just five goals in six league games this season and with no European matches with which to concern themselves, the Coca-Cola Cup represents one of only two chances Mauricio Pochettino and his overpriced squad of misfits have of getting knocked out in the last 16 of a competition this season. With the natives increasingly restless in the wake of Chelsea’s latest home defeat at the hands of Aston Villa, this assignment has taken on the kind of must-win quality not usually associated with Chelsea’s forays into the early stages of a competition they would normally consider beneath them. In the extremely unlikely event that he has even the vaguest idea what it actually is, fans have called on Pochettino to pick his strongest available team, although it’s a task made easier by Chelsea’s increasingly long list of the lame, the halt and the Naughty Stepped.
Amid possibly ridiculous talk that his position is already under threat, Pochettino has been fielding questions about his employers’ habit of dropping by the Stamford Bridge dressing room unannounced for post-match pow-wows with their players. “I don’t see it in a bad way,” he tooted. “For me it is good, always, if they share with [the coaching staff], then can say hello to the players. The difference is if they came for some speech or different things, then maybe that is different. In the way they came, of course they are very welcome. They own the club, they can do whatever they want.” Messrs Boehly and Eghbali may well pay another visit again on Wednesday night, but if it’s the one we suspect it will be, Brighton owner Tony Bloom might be well served performing a head-count on the team bus before the short drive home.
LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE
Join Scott Murray at 7pm BST for updates on Netherlands 2-2 England in the Women’s Nations League, while Michael Butler will be on hand for Manchester United 2-1 Crystal Palace in the Milk Cup at 7.45pm.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“That was a zoo. David Blaine was doing card tricks that they never paid for … we picked up the bill from two or three hotels, which were never paid, the bill for the train which they got [Michael] Jackson on from London … it was embarrassing. You know when a switch goes? I was like: ‘I’m not having that.’ I didn’t even think about the numbers. It was: ‘I’m going to get involved’” – Exeter president Julian Tagg tells Ben Fisher about the fun and games that forced him and other fans to take back control of the club and steer it into much calmer waters.
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
Having had a modicum of success in the last few decades of letter-writing to this publication, achieving a couple of prizeless letters o’ the day, I’ve found it more difficult to remain competitive in recent years after the money-men got involved, changed the name of the competition and introduced untold riches upon the winners. I used to be sad about my lack of success in the new era, but I guess even I have to admit the changes have raised the bar for us all to now enjoy. You can change the format, but the stars above my badge burn just as brightly as those worn by the young punks who now grace the letter pages. In my heart I know I helped to plough the field from which they now reap the rewards. Just a shame that I’ll never get the chance to lay my hands on one of those Football Weekly Books” – Ian Potter.
Mention of Gerd Müller (yesterday’s Football Daily letters) always reminds me of him unexpectedly turning up on Superstars in 1981. Bemused, bearded and rather reserved from the start, he rapidly decided that since there was no ‘unexpectedly turning up out of nowhere and spawning points off your shin’ event, it was a game of soldiers he could do without, clearly packed it in and finished last. Mind you, unless Harry Kane can overcome Ellis Genge, Lewis Hamilton and whoever the heck does skiing these days, in a tournament of squat-thrusts, riding bicycles around parked cars, shooting BB guns and playing basketball on someone’s patio, Gerd will always have that too” – Jon Millard.
My memories of Oktoberfest (yesterday’s Football Daily, full email edition) involve sitting on a crate each day in a circle at 12 noon at the campsite and drinking a shot of alcohol every minute up to 100. Disqualification for moving off the crate for any reason whatsoever. It was carnage. I would pay good money to watch Harry Kane do this version of the experience” – George Paterson.
While it was sad to see Ajax fans trashing their home stadium (yesterday’s Quote of the Day), the sight of all that broken glass creates a rare opportunity to resolve two crises at the same time. After all, the Amsterdam club needs to get the glaziers in, and Manchester United supporters want to get … well, you know the rest” – Marc McFadden.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s winner of our letter o’ the day is … Marc McFadden, who wins a copy of the Football Weekly Book. We’ve more to give away all week, so keep tapping.
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