Picking out a baby name isn't always as easy as it sounds - and sometimes parents get it wrong. That's the anguish one woman is up against, as she tries to convince her husband to allow her to change their four-year-old's middle name.
She explained how naming her daughter Violet Robin Smith* was the "biggest regret of her life" - and something she has nightmares about on a daily basis. To correct her mistake, she wants to change her daughter's middle name to Agassi to match her son's, who is called Mitchell Agassi Smith.
Taking to Reddit, her husband said: "Agassi is my wife's maiden name, and Smith is obviously mine. Since my son was born, my wife has been vocal about wanting to change our daughter’s middle name to her maiden name. [She has been] saying things like it’s been eating her up for years and it’s one of the 'biggest regrets of her life'.
"I’m not trying to add any hyperbole, but she’s getting really upset about it. She mentioned this in passing years ago as well, but I never paid much attention to it, to be honest.
"I thought it was a passing feeling and she’d get used to it over time. I mean, we did pick it out together! It wasn’t under duress or anything."
He went on to explain how his wife "feels their daughter won't have anything of hers in terms of her name" - making it seem as though she has favourites between her children.
"My wife’s middle name is her mother’s maiden name as well," he added. "My wife is also an only child and her mom never took her husband's last name.
"My in-laws are still happily married though. I have a brother and both of us have our own middle names, and my mother took my fathers last name."
However, he believes it's too late to change the girl's name as they'll soon be celebrating her fifth birthday.
He said: "She knows her name and it’s her name. My wife wants to change it completely to match our son’s naming format: Violet Agassi Smith.
"But I like her middle name! When we thought of it, I liked it because I originally wanted to name my daughter after a bird and Robin has all of the first initials of her grandparents in it.
"My mum also loves her middle name and asked for a necklace this past Christmas that as a combination of her two granddaughters middle names.
"I told my wife that I am completely fine with her having two middle names, so that it’s changed to Violet Robin Agassi Smith - but she is vehemently against it, saying it will be hard for her on paperwork and in life in general.
"I feel like we are at an impasse. I brought it up this morning and she ended up crying afterwards when I reiterated that I didn’t want to change her name outright, but would be fine amending her overall name."
Wanting to hear others peoples' opinions, he has taken to Reddit to ask users what they'd do in this situation.
In response, one user said: "You are trying to find the 'right' answer. There is no right answer here, only a kind and caring process.
"And that kind and caring process is: This is clearly very important to your wife. You don’t understand why it’s so important.
"But instead of focusing on trying to understand your partner, you’re putting all your energy into proving to her why she’s wrong.
"You have lost sight of how couples make decisions and deal with changing priorities. Get back on the partner train and figure this out together."
Another user added: "I have two middle names and a two-word last name (I.e five words in my name in total). I've never understood the drama - it has never caused me a problem."
A third user said: "She's four, she can speak, ask her which one she prefers. It's kind of weird to argue over names once the baby is no longer a baby.
"She is a person with an identity that she got used to, it seems kind of odd to want to change it to symbolise yourself."
* The children's names have been changed slightly to protect their identity.
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