The days of separating work and home are forever in the rearview mirror, accelerated by the pandemic and the advent of remote work. Just as work often bleeds into employees’ personal lives, the opposite also occurs, with familial responsibilities and mental well-being increasingly finding their way into the office.
“I’ve seen a significant shift in people’s openness, willingness, and desire to talk about their whole self at work,” says Jodi Jacobson Frey, a professor and associate dean for research at the University of Maryland’s School of Social Work.
To be sure, reducing mental health stigma at work is laudatory. But as employees bring their whole selves to work, managers are often saddled with tending to subordinates’ mental well-being, a task some say they are ill-equipped to handle, regardless of the onslaught of mental health trainings employers lob at leaders.
According to Gallup research published in November 2021, burnout among managers increased from 28% in March 2020 to 35% in 2021, while individual contributor burnout remained at 27%. Though depression and struggles to maintain a healthy work-life balance contributed to managerial stress, Gallup author Jim Harter noted that concern over employees’ mental and physical health further complicated the manager’s role.
“There are so many different stressors that people managers do not have any control over,” says Rachel Kanarowski, founder of Year of Living Better, a consultancy focused on reducing workplace burnout. One of the largest sources of burnout is managers’ middleman role between leadership and subordinates, leaving them feeling a top-down squeeze. Couple that with expectations to assist employees with mental health struggles, and many are starting to feel overwhelmed.
Generational and other demographic factors also exacerbate tensions between managers and employees. For example, baby-boomer managers may feel uncomfortable discussing mental health with millennial and Gen Z employees, who are more likely to be open about it. “If you’re an older manager, you were trained in that productivity model, and now you’re supposed to be like a junior therapist. This would be a very uncomfortable role,” says Arlene Hirsch, a career and psychological counselor.
Similarly, a person of color leading a majority-white team may hesitate to speak candidly about their mental health, a discussion that typically requires some relatability and honesty. Research also shows that people of color feel less comfortable speaking openly about mental health, in part owing to cultural differences and the risk of backlash if they open up about their struggles.
There’s undoubtedly a benefit to equipping managers with mental health training. Employees surveyed for a UKG study published in January said their managers have a greater impact on their mental health than their therapist or doctor, which makes sense, given that one spends the bulk of their waking day at work.
“You may spend one hour a week with that therapist or a mental health professional, but you’re spending eight, nine, 10, sometimes 12 hours a day with your manager,” says Natasha Bowman, a workplace consultant who focuses on work and well-being. “Their behaviors, their decisions…that’s absolutely going to make a bigger impact on your mental health than anything or anyone else will.”
But there’s a difference between a manager creating a work environment that lends itself to better mental well-being and serving as one’s de facto therapist.
Managers are generally uncomfortable handling employees’ mental health problems—not because they lack empathy, but simply because they don’t have the skills or resources to respond to subordinates’ needs adequately, says Elizabeth Knox, founder of workplace consulting service MatchPace. It can take years to become a licensed therapist, including time spent obtaining a master’s degree and completing internships and however many supervised work hours a state requires. Managers won’t get that level of training in a one-day course on empathetic leadership.
Additionally, Americans are increasingly turning to work to create community, historically supplied by religious or civic engagement. “Often, a boss is the first line of leadership in their lives. And that comes with expectations like, ‘But you’re the person who’s supposed to take care of me,” says Knox. “That puts a lot of expectations on organizations and the people who run the organizations—leaders and managers. Those are really hard expectations to fulfill.”
That, coupled with the fact workers rely on their employers for access to services—like health care and mental wellness benefits—creates a skewed dependency on an organization.
When leaders try to satisfy this dependency without the appropriate training or resources, such efforts can backfire. In some instances, good intentions are taken too far. A director at one company set up a “condolence corner,” encouraging employees to share personal hardships during team calls. An April LinkedIn post from Bloomberg reporter Matthew Boyle sparked a discussion on mental health at work. As one commentator phrased it, “You know what grieving people need? It’s almost always time off. Not a hug from their manager.”
“Not everyone wants the same sort of interaction with an employer or colleagues about a loss. That can be really traumatizing,” says Kanarowski. Moreover, the office is often where people like to compartmentalize and keep whatever crisis is happening in their personal life separate from their job. “I don’t think this is the time to turn the workplace into a therapy speed zone.”
But some employees feel they have few mental health options to leverage because they aren’t aware relevant resources exist. Some 73% of employers say they provide employee assistance programs (EAPs), which generally offer workers confidential assistance or counseling. While EAP utilization is increasing—from 7.4% in 2019 to 9.2% in 2021—Gallup research found that nearly one-third of workers don’t know how to access their company’s EAP.
“This falls to HR to make sure that managers and employees are aware,” says Hirsch. She recommends sending periodic reminders that an EAP is available or inviting EAP partners to explain their services.
But Frey flags the larger problem: a shortage of mental health professionals, which has led to longer wait times for intake and fewer providers from which employees can choose. “Until we are able to resolve the broader mental health problem in our country, we’re going to continue to see a shift where more responsibility and pressure is put on the workplace because there is nowhere else to get help,” says Frey.
Though managers shouldn’t shoulder the burden of fixing employees’ mental health, they can promote mentally safe workplaces, and experts say that starts with effective, appropriate, and proactive communication.
“This is kind of a cycle, where the managers and frontline supervisors play a critical role in understanding mental health and well-being without becoming the therapist,” says Frey. “That’s where the training has to happen, where we coach our leadership to encourage appropriate resources like employee assistance, crisis lines, or other types of mental health or wellness services that workplaces offer through their benefits.”
Managers should familiarize themselves with available benefits and how to access them. For example, if there’s an internal portal, managers should know how to log in and navigate the site, which is often a barrier to entry for employees.
Leaders should also support accessing such services, as it may empower employees to do the same. “The tone comes from the top. If senior leaders are open about sharing personal information, that has a trickle-down effect,” says Hirsch.
That said, managers don’t need to bare all in mental health conversations, and they can simply say, “I’ve personally used our EAP benefit and found it helpful. Here is the phone number or website to access the benefit if needed.”
“[Managers] have to learn how to lean into these conversations and be supportive without crossing personal or legal boundaries,” says Bowman. Instead of trying to serve as a therapist, they should ask, “How can I support you?” or “Is there anything I can help you prioritize or take off your plate that will help you navigate these challenges?”
Lastly, employers must find other means to boost employee mental well-being beyond standard health benefits. Kanarowski says caregiving is one of the biggest stressors for employees.
“Eldercare is a very expensive and complicated benefit to navigate,” she says. “More companies may want to look at what kind of benefits they might be able to provide that can help to ease the burden.”
