The pandemic seems to have released its icy grip on the U.S., but one covid-19 leftover effect is still very much in play -- adult children who moved in with mom and dad during the lockdowns won’t release their icy grip on the family homestead.
Even more surprisingly, mom and dad are actually okay with that scenario, give or take a sloppy bedroom conversation or two.
Improving Relationships?
The data backs that outlook.
According to a new study by Lending Tree, two-thirds of adult children who moved into their parents’ homes are still there, even though government health experts have declared the pandemic largely over.
The study mostly focused on Gen Z and millennial youth, targeting 1,300 U.S. families on nationwide pandemic parent-adult child living arrangements.
Here are the main takeaways from the report.
--- 32% of millennials and Gen Zers moved back home with their parents during the pandemic, and most (two-thirds) still live there.
--- 85% of parents would let their children move back in as adults or have previously done so, and most (73%) wouldn’t charge them rent.
--- About half of parents who’ve let their adult children move back in say it improved their relationship. On the other hand, 21% say living with their adult child strained their relationship.
--- Living at home isn’t a dating deal breaker. 45% of millennials and Gen Zers say they’d date someone living with their parents.
Another eye-opener -- the older the adult child, the more adamant the stance about staying put in the family home.
“The younger age groups are more likely to have already moved back out,” The Lending Tree study noted. “Those ages 26 to 34 lead the flight away from the nest (14%), followed by 13% of 18- to 25-year-olds. Only 8% of 35- to 41-year-olds who moved to their parents’ homes during the pandemic are back on their own.”
Additionally, many Gen Zers and millennials are still considering trading freedom to save dollars. “The 35- to 41-year-old group is the most adamant about avoiding a move back under their parents’ roof (67%), followed by those ages 26 to 34 (56%) and those 18 to 25 (49%),” the report stated.
Economic Factors a Big 'Staying Put' Issue
Economic experts attribute the "move-in-for-good" movement to current household financial realities across the U.S., some of which may reverberate for decades.
“Rising mortgage rates, higher rents, as well as increases in day-to-day expenses due to inflation all contribute to some millennials/Gen Z-ers opting to remain living with their parents,” said Emily Irwin, managing director, advice and planning center of excellence, at Wells Fargo.
“Let’s face it -- another factor that influences this trend is that 'Mom and Dad’s digs' are often more comfortable than the accommodations young adults can afford on their own.”
Another issue is strong family connections that have tightened over the past few years.
“Some young adults realized--especially during the pandemic--that they missed being within a strong, familial support system and that wasn't apparent until they moved back in with their parents,” Irwin said. “Other young adults recognized that living with their parents offered them a great deal of flexibility as they were rethinking their career paths as this move freed up their fixed expenses, like rent and utilities, and some discretionary expenses, like groceries.”
Parents have played their own role in maintaining a living space for their adult children, with emotion matching financial need as a driving force -- good or bad.
“The Lending Tree study notes that most parents are okay with their adult kids moving back in for the long haul and most will even waive rent,” said Emily Simonian, head of clinical learning for Thriveworks, a wellness and therapy center in Washington, D.C. “But what message does that send to adult children living at home and what incentive do families have to ever get kids out of the home and onto their adult lives?"
The “live at home” scenario could also serve as big comfort to many young adults, who fully understand and accept that this is a temporary situation. For others, however, it enabled poor behaviors that were maybe already present, like immaturity or laziness.
“The outcome usually depends on how the arrangement is presented -- the clearer the guidelines, expectations, and boundaries (from both sides) the better,” Simonian said.
Establishing Ground Rules
Across the board, family and financial specialists say there should be ground rules for adult children living at home over a long period of time.
“Parents should establish expectations for the relationship, otherwise you might risk enabling adult children to not become financially independent,” said Jody D'Agostini, a financial advisor with Equitable Advisors.
Those expectations depend on how parents view the arrangement.
“If you support a life plan that allows adult children to retire student loans, credit card debt, save for a home or even explore a new career or start a business, then you’re encouraging good, responsible behavior,” D'Agostini said. “If you’re allowing them to return home, but don’t see financial prudence, then the relationship may not be in the long-term interests of parent or child.”
Above all, parents need to ensure that extended homestays don’t sacrifice their financial well-being and eventual retirement.
“Having all parties create a financial plan and revisit with this new arrangement should be included in all 'live-at-home' arrangements,” D'Agostini said.
