Name: Martin Luther.
Age: 531.
Appearance: Round face, large brown eyes, cryptic smile.
Really? I always thought of him as being stern-looking. No, he’s cute.
This is the Martin Luther who wrote the 95 Theses? The translator of the New Testament into the vernacular? Leader of the Protestant Reformation, and scourge of popes? That’s him: neat brown bob, sweet little floppy hat, hands like C-clamps.
I’m having difficulty reconciling your description with the cantankerous theologian of history. In particular, the hands. That’s probably because I’m talking about Martin Luther the plastic Playmobil figurine.
Oh, I see. Wait, what? German toy manufacturer Playmobil has just issued a special miniature Martin Luther, holding an outsize quill pen and a German-language Bible.
Is there much call for that sort of thing? The first run of 34,000 sold out in less than 72 hours. It’s the company’s fastest-selling figurine ever.
I’ll confess I’m stunned. So was Playmobil – a company spokesperson called it “a big mystery [and] a huge surprise”. Now a second batch is being rushed into production.
Is there any precedent for this? Not really, though the Playmobil figurine of Renaissance painter Albrecht Dürer sold 80,000 units over three years.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – German kids are really weird. It’s probably more to do with the parents: the 500th anniversary of the Reformation is looming in 2017. “Parents want to make sure their children grow up knowing who he is,” says Astrid Mühlman, director of the government office in charge of the quinquennial commemorations, “because he had such an impact on how society evolved in Europe.”
Did he? Yes. His German Bible was a blueprint for other vernacular translations. He challenged church authority, heavily influenced Christian thought and practice, and even wrote the hymn A Mighty Fortress Is Our God.
Not bad for a tiny, round-headed, cylindrical-bodied fellow. Indeed.
Do say: “I need to nail these 95 Theses to that church door over there. Would you mind removing the quill pen from my right hand, and snapping in the hammer?”
Don’t say: “And then could you snap the quill pen back in? I have an antisemitic tract to finish.”
