I’m old enough to remember sneaking downstairs on a Tuesday night and flicking on Channel 4 to catch just five minutes of Queer As Folk on mute.
Catching just those minutes of subtitled dialogue were just one of the only glimpses I had at the time into gay life as a young teenager. And that was only 24 or so years ago.
I also remember where I was when I watched Todd Grimshaw and Nick Tilsey kiss on Coronation Street in 2003 - the soap’s first ever gay kiss. Having timed the moment the show would return from its advert break, ready for the episode’s big gay cliffhanger, I left my family in the living room as I dashed off to my sister’s bedroom to watch the scene unfold at super low volume on her tiny TV.
Join our WhatsApp Top Stories and Breaking News group by clicking this link
At the time, I was only 14 and still coming to terms and the realisation about my sexuality and I was longing for some form of identity. I wanted to know what it was like being gay - I wasn’t looking for anything seedy or sexualised, I just wanted to have something I could relate to.
Whilst there were LGBTQ+ contestants on shows like Big Brother, they often were sensualised or sexualised by the media and it wasn't something I really connected with as someone who, at the time, was more interested in playing his Game Boy Colour and catching Pokémon (not even an innuendo and still very much the case).
So, that’s why I’m really pleased to see BBC Three’s I Kissed A Boy on screen. It’s not tucked away on some three-digit Sky channel or airing in a graveyard slot, it’s a primetime TV show featuring gay men kissing without it ever being some huge scandal. Truly wild.
The show sees men paired together after being introduced to one another with a kiss. With the fabulous Dannii Minogue hosting the show (in a number of hun-worthy outfits too, might I add), the contestants either confess their love, switch to another boy they fancy or face elimination. In a nutshell, it’s Love Island for the gays.
The premise of the show is hardly ground-breaking. But it’s the contestants themselves and the conversations they have that I feel are really part of a big turning point. From speaking about hiding in the closet and not feeling accepted to safe sex prep and celebrating queer joy, it’s all there on display.
Of course, there are some things that can easily be nit-picked about the show. It does dilute sexuality, at times, to some general and easy stereotypes (like a game where the boys have to decide between Lady Gaga or Beyoncé and another where they have to pass phallic-shaped foods between thighs and mouths), but it’s worth overlooking that for the benefit that this show could bring people.
Each of the contestants has a story to share - whether it’s good or bad experiences in their upbringing, how they’re finally seeing themselves for who they are, or why they are on the show in the first place. Amongst the contestants, there’s an engineer, a climate change advocate, a model, an athlete and someone who grew up in a Mormon family.
Like RuPaul's Drag Race, it’s the kind of show I would have fully appreciated growing up. As someone who feels they have never fit the ‘status quo’ of what a traditional or stereotypical gay man is expected to look like, it is a reminder that there is not just one cookie-cutter style. We come in all shapes and sizes, and can be just as fabulous for it.
As dramatic as it may sound, it shows there truly is a light at the end of the tunnel. And not all LGBTQ+ people are able to realise that at times - especially young people. It shows that whilst we are sadly likely to face some form of discrimination, fear, rejection or loneliness at times, there is a way of making lemonade out of lemons and celebrating being gay and embracing the positives that can come with it.
It's something gay activist Calum 'McFabulous' also spoke about when discussing the show's significance with the M.E.N's James Holt last week. Revealing that he had been approached by the casting team, he said he hoped it would break barriers when it comes to gay people.
"At the minute there is an imbalance," he explained. "We are moving so far in terms of inclusivity and acceptance, but there is still a minority of people who have real hatred and discriminatory attitudes to the LGBTQ+ community. Programmes like this are important to break those barriers and show those people that finding true love is possible as a gay person."
I hope the show will continue to do what it’s doing and embrace more body shapes and identities going forward. I’m excited for what the recently-announced spin-off I Kissed A Girl will also do to help change perceptions and ideas of what people have about queer women.
Being part of the LGBTQ+ community is actually fantastic, and we don’t all remember or realise that at times. Having shows like I Kissed A Boy, I Kissed A Girl and maybe even I Kissed A They will only help show that to not only ourselves, but to the rest of the world.
Plus, it also reminds us that Dannii Minogue is the queer icon we always knew she was. Hey Siri, play Put The Needle On It on loop please.
I kissed a Boy is available to watch on BBC iPlayer here.
READ NEXT:
