Going out for dinner is my favourite thing to get dressed for. It is also an under-curated outfit category. Going out to eat is a much more regular occurrence, for most grownups, than going to a wedding or to a fancy party, but we spend a lot more time talking about wedding-guest outfits and party dresses than we do about what to wear to a restaurant.
I don’t think it’s because what we wear to go out isn’t a big deal – restaurants are expensive, and dinner out is a big treat for most of us. You are investing a substantial amount of money, and probably most of your Friday night, in this occasion. But there is no dress code, so it doesn’t feel stressful, which I guess is why we don’t feel the need to plan it.
It’s exactly the fact that it’s easy to get dressed for dinner that makes it fun. It hits a sweet spot of being able to wear something a bit special without being forced out of your comfort zone. There are very few technical challenges, just an opportunity to look nice. Unlike planning a look for a wedding or a festival, when you are trying to allow for unknown factors like how much time you will be outside or standing up, a restaurant is a luxuriously predictable scenario. You will be sitting down; it won’t be madly hot or cold. No need to factor in a hood in case it rains or shoes you can stand in for hours.
Also, zero pressure for this outfit to be a head-turning fashion statement. You don’t have to show that you are the life and soul of a party or down with the festival kids. You can just wear something pretty. After all, for the friend(s) or lover(s) you are dining with, tonight’s view is you – and there is an intimate kind of theatre to that.
Most of you will be hidden under the table, so choose your clothes with that in mind. There’s not much point wearing a jazzy sequinned skirt or the trousers that make your bum look good. Above-the-table dressing starts with a neckline to frame your face. This can be a simple crew neck but perhaps collared with a chunky necklace or given a flash of delicate drama with a long rope of beads or the arrow-sharpness of a pendant. Have fun with jewellery – not just earrings but rings and bracelets. Your companion’s hands catch your eye a lot when they eat. (Paint your nails maybe?)
A soft silk blouse with a button or two undone brings a more after-dark atmosphere than a crisp cotton shirt. (A little too power breakfast.) You need to show some skin, so if your neckline is high, your sleeves should end at the elbow. This isn’t a sexiness thing – it’s just that skin reminds people you are human. A cleavage-framing deep V-neck is a little old-fashioned and can make you look a little like you’ve gone out to dinner in 1985. Looking a bit current gives the impression that you’ve got better chat, I think. Good chat, as much as good food, being what going out to dinner is all about.
Above-the-table dressing doesn’t necessarily mean a fun top and boring trousers. I have a bunch of smartish dresses in black or jewel colours which I used to wear to work but which feel a bit over the top for our new casualised work vibe and anyway only really work with heels, which I’ve pretty much ditched pre-7pm. The vague sense of formality of a fitted dress, which can hit an off note in modern meetings, brings a pleasing touch of drama to the moment where you take your coat off and walk across a restaurant. (Also, since I’m going to be sitting, I can wear one of the many pairs of fun high heels that are gathering dust on my shelves.)
Most of these dresses are old favourites, which is perfect, because what you want is an outfit that feels like the best you. No matter you’ve worn it a thousand times. People notice if you look good – they don’t notice if you are wearing the same thing as yesterday.
Stepping into a dress you’ve worn and felt good in before can be a way of finding a thread to follow that takes you back to your best self when you feel like you’ve lost touch with her a bit. Go give her a nudge. She’s going out for dinner, lucky thing.
Model: Lynn Zhang at Body London. Hair and makeup: Carol Morley. Top: Reserved. Earrings: Boden. Necklace, bracelet and ring: Crystal Haze. Gold chain bracelet: Mejuri
