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The Guardian - AU
The Guardian - AU
Entertainment
Josh Butler explains to Bridie Jabour

Why are Australian politicians talking about gingerbread people?

Gingerbread biscuits
The ‘gingerbread people’ on sale at Queen’s Terrace cafe in Canberra’s Parliament House are hitting a sour note with conservatives – but generic variety pictured as photography isn’t allowed in the cafe. Photograph: GMVozd/Getty Images

What’s this about a gingerbread man scandal rocking Parliament House?

I think you mean gingerbread PEOPLE - which is the recipe for this particular pastry palaver.

Parliament House’s various cafes are stocking holiday-themed goods, from Christmas cookies to green-and-red iced doughnuts and fruit mince pies, but one specific treat caught the eye of anti-woke warriors this week: the Queen’s Terrace cafe, the public cafeteria inside APH, is selling vegan “gingerbread people” in its window. Apparently it’s another instalment in the war on Christmas.

So the presence of gingerbread people indicates an attack on Christmas has been launched?

“Leave Christmas alone,” railed Nationals senator Matt Canavan. Colleague Barnaby Joyce told news.com.au that he believed “all this stuff has been forced on me”.

“Just leave Christmas. If you don’t want to buy gingerbread men, you don’t have to,” Joyce went on, apparently oblivious to the fact one can also choose not to buy gingerbread people too.

Nationals MP Kevin Hogan joined the bandwagon late but went a step further, tweeting: “The woke brigade have now made the Gingerbread Man gender-neutral!!! This political correctness nonsense is out of control.”

Uh, don’t our politicians have more important things to be working on?

Apparently not (it can sometimes get boring and stale when you’re in opposition).

Treasurer Jim Chalmers, who was busy preparing to hand down the mid-year economic and fiscal outlook on Wednesday – you know, the big financial document that has some bearing on interest rates, inflation and the cost-of-living crisis - was asked the big question: “Are you on the side of a unisex biscuit or do you prefer it gendered?”

Far from wanting to debate the biscuit pronouns, Chalmers responded flatly: “Geez, those blokes are on to the big issues, aren’t they?

“I’m focused on inflation, the cost of living, the budget, they’re focused on gingerbread men in the cafe.”

Wait, have we fact-checked that Parliament House is against Christmas?

It’d be hard to say that, considering the two-storey-high Christmas tree that dominates the grand marble foyer, and information signs calling for donations to the Christmas giving tree charities. The halls of Parliament House are also decorated with some Christmas cheer, with Santa inflatables and season’s greetings cards hanging from politicians’ office windows.

Indeed, even at the Queen’s Terrace cafe the Christmas cheer is palpable. In the display window next to the “ginger bread people” are cupcakes decorated with reindeer icing, seasonal fruit mince pies, and a large “honey coated Yule log” retailing for a cool $70 in the nearby fridge.

Visitors could also buy a large box containing gingerbread people, mince pies, biscotti and other treats, on display just metres from the window. They call it a “Christmas hamper”. Make of that what you will.

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