In days of yore, heartthrobs used to make sense. Fancy Marlon Brando? Makes sense. Poster of Marilyn Monroe on the bedroom wall? Stands to reason. All the way up to the 2010s, our big crushes tended to be on conventionally attractive celebrities. The Megan Foxes of the world thrived.
Nowadays, it’s not quite so simple. Internet subcultures and niche memes go viral and suddenly everyone wishes their boyfriend looked like Remy from Ratatouille, or, say, a suspected murderer. 2024 was a particularly wacky year for lusting, so without further ado, here are the biggest crushes we had, from the predictable to the peculiar.
Hot rodent men
“Summer” is increasingly becoming a word which merely serves the prefixes we attach to it. You can no longer simply have a nice summer. You must subscribe to a certain aesthetic and announce to everyone, ad nauseam, “I’m having a hot girl/tomato girl/brat summer”. Otherwise no one will take you seriously.
While the summer of 2024 will always be remembered as brat, there was another force at play: rat boy summer. The internet swooned over leading men with a distinct look of the rodent about them. Heading up the pack were The Bear’s Jeremy Allen White and Challengers stars Mike Faist and Josh O’Connor.
i never noticed how hard his fit was pic.twitter.com/JembN9PXTD
— michael (@FilledwithUrine) May 7, 2024
The accessory du jour was a “hot rodent boyfriend”. Even Stuart Little got a look in. Even the New York Times did an explainer called “Who is a ‘Rodent Man’?”. Sharp snouted men around the world rejoiced.
Hot felons
It’s not often that a suspected murderer becomes an international treasure, but Luigi Mangione has managed it. The Ivy League educated 26-year-old became the fascination of every internet sleuth after he was revealed as the prime suspect in the killing of United Healthcare CEO Brian Thompson in Manhattan. Mangione gave himself away after he was caught on CCTV pulling his mask down to flirt with a receptionist at the hostel he stayed in.
Mangione has pleaded not guilty to murder and his court case is ongoing, but the hashtag #FreeLuigi has hundreds of thousands of posts on social media. Despite being accused of shooting someone in cold blood, he is characterised as a vigilante, fighting against the grossly unfair US healthcare system. Endless pictures of Mangione have gone viral online, from an Instagram snap of him topless on holiday to his mugshot, and the knowing side eye he seems to give paparazzi.
Cool politicians
As the tired saying goes, politics is showbiz for ugly people, and therefore it’s not very often that politicians make crush lists. But the plucky 27-year-old who stood against Nigel Farage as the Labour candidate for Clacton also happened to be impeccably dressed and whip smart. Jovan Owusu-Nepaul captured the attention of sartorialists with his Fair Isle knit jumpers, corduroy suits and vintage Burberry trench coats. He was swiftly dubbed “the candidate for menswear” and optimistically hailed as a potential foil to Farage. A veritable one to watch.
Hated politicians
Can I say something https://t.co/5ylLpYySYW
— Ciaran (@CiaranBloo) July 6, 2024
Listen, we don’t make the rules. Crushing on Priti Patel has a rich history dating back to 2020, when Skepta tweeted a captionless picture of the former Home Secretary sitting in the Houses of Commons that spoke a thousand words. This summer, Patel shared a Euros snap online which people reluctantly admitted to being thirst trapped over. Sometimes you have to separate the art from the artist.
Comeback kids
Adam Brody crash landed back into public consciousness with his role as the hot rabbi in Netflix comedy Nobody Wants This. Crucially, he looks much the same as he did when he played Seth Cohen in the OC, which stirred up much unresolved teenage lust.
Martin Scorsese
Genuinely one of the most beautiful photos of this decade pic.twitter.com/sP5nfnkTUl
— Dingo (@Jo00ocean1970) August 19, 2024
Crush may be the wrong word, but 2024 was the year we all came to realise that Martin Scorsese is the most adorable man on earth. Thanks to diligently documented TikToks by his daughter Francesca, the world got to see that the man responsible for some of the best movies ever made is in fact a teddy bear who is equally happy providing director’s commentary to Goodfellas as he is to his daughter’s makeup routine. The people’s princess.
Dua Lipa
This video of Dua Lipa got me in a chokehold pic.twitter.com/rpHwh4uct4
— kira 👾 (@kirawontmiss) July 12, 2024
Specifically, this video of Dua Lipa doing a kind of pole dance with a microphone. Just good old fashioned hot stuff.
Paul Mescal
If you were a girl in your 20s living in London in the first half of 2024, fancying Paul Mescal felt legitimate because he was somewhat within reach. You might have easily run into him at a pub in Islington or a night out at Dalston Superstore. Everyone seemed to have a friend of a friend who had matched with him on invite-only dating app Raya or kissed him – allegedly. Rumours spread that he had a habit of running for the hills in the middle of dates, which Mescal has since denied.
Nevertheless, his rep was cemented as London party boy meets Casanova. Devastatingly, the Normal People star has pivoted from indie flicks to Hollywood blockbusters, meaning his fame will likely enter a new strata which precludes all nighters in sweaty east London clubs. He also has a girlfriend, which probably doesn’t help. It was fun while it lasted.
Anyone Irish, for that matter
2024 was the year when obsession with the Irish reached fever pitch. Everyone wished they could say “what’s the craic” without sounding like a tosser, Londoners drank so much Guinness that there is now an apparent shortage, and people decided that spice bags and chicken rolls were the hautest cuisine in town.
Really, anyone Irish was drooled over, but especially Mescal and Andrew Scott in the film All of Us Strangers, Barry Keoghan, Dublin band Fontaines DC, Belfast band Kneecap, and at least half of Bono’s children.
