Last week, I had a surprise coffee with Henk Swarttouw, head of the European Cyclists’ Federation. He used to be the Dutch ambassador, and you know what they say about diplomats – lovely manners.
We talked about how cycling had been yoked into the culture wars, totally against the wishes of any cyclist either of us had ever met. Cyclists like me are believed to be implacably against drivers, even though many of us also drive. We’ve been automatically conscripted into the woke army.
Separately – in London, at least – as cyclists, we’re meant to be divided between ourselves: Lycra-clad pedal-pushers ranged against arriviste electric bikers, who wear all the wrong clothes but still manage to be faster. I dug into this not long ago and, for sure, some people occasionally find some other people annoying. But we cannot let the muscle-to-effort ratio blind us to our shared agenda, Swarttouw says, because we all need the same things: safer roads, fewer cars, greener transport networks, fewer emissions, fresher air. He has three bikes: a Brompton, an ebike and a custom-made wooden bike. If anyone could pour oil over troubled waters, it would surely be someone whose stable housed such a variety of machines.
I’m always a fan of looking for the malign agent – who is it, pitting cyclists against other road users and against each other? What dark money has poured into which thinktanks to get this culture war started? Swarttouw is much more emollient (see ex-diplomat, above) and thinks it doesn’t matter who started it; we all just have to end it.
Do we really have to learn to love everyone? Even electric scooters? “Oh no,” he said. “Those guys are really annoying.”
• Zoe Williams is a Guardian columnist
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