Somebody on the Spurs needs to watch what they’re eating, man.
Welcome to Fartgate, folks.
Spurs players were visibly upset by the bench ahead of their game against the Clippers on Monday. What was wrong? It looks like somebody let off one of those rotten egg farts that are likely to ruin your entire day once it hits your nose.
I can’t confirm that was the smell, obviously, considering that I wasn’t there. But judging by the way Victor Wembanyama covered his nose with his shirt and how Chris Paul walked away visibly angry, one can assume that this was a pretty funky one.
Look at how upset these dudes are.
Somebody farted during Spurs’ intros.
Look how upset Chris Paul is 😭 pic.twitter.com/UxxVpLYRkH
— BricksCenter (@BricksCenter) November 5, 2024
We saw who smelt it. Now, we need to figure out who dealt it. I’ve got four suspects, ranked from the least likely to most.
Let’s take a look, shall we?
1. Victor Wembanyama is definitely innocent
Wembanyama was the first one who seemed to smell the fart. And you know what they say? He who smelt it, dealt it. Generally, I think that’s a fair rule.
But look at the disgust on this man’s face as he covers his nose with his shirt.
I think this is an innocent man.
2. Chris Paul is too mad to be guilty
We’ve seen Chris Paul upset before, but I don’t know if we’ve seen him this upset in a while.
It looks like he just got into it with Scott Foster. Only a psycho would get this mad about their own farts.
Now, don’t get me wrong. Paul might just be that kind of guy! But I just don’t see it here.
3. Silent but deadly from Julian Champagnie?
Ok. So here’s where things get really interesting. Julian Champagnie is clearly in the vicinity of the fart — let’s call it the Blast Zone.
HMMMM. CURIOUS.
There’s a chance he might be that awkward person who doesn’t react to funky farts because he doesn’t want to put anyone on blast.
There’s also a chance that he’s the one who let it rip. He’d be the prime suspect if not for this next guy.
4. Jeremy Sochan is too frolicky for it not to be him
It’s definitely Sochan. Just look at his face. He’s laughing while walking out of a cloud of nuclear gas.
Not only is he the farter here, but he’s also one of those dudes who think all of his farts are funny. Those are the worst kind of farters. They’re the sort of people who take pleasure in robbing you of one of your senses for the next five minutes because their flatulence just fried your nose. It’s awful.
I could be wrong here. But I think it’s pretty clearly Sochan. We’ll probably never know. I just hope everyone’s nose is OK after this.
