The NFL schedule, most of which you’ve known about for months now, has officially been placed in order for you. Thanks to a fleet of corporate sponsors, over-eager TikTokkers and social media gurus, who are free to write checks with their content that players’ bodies will have to cash on Sundays, we now know the exact times and dates of every NFL game.
If I sound ornery, it’s because this felt like a particularly vampiric process this year. There are a lot of teams getting a spotlight they don’t deserve and a lot of good teams being built the right way that got absolutely hosed. For the moment, we’re focusing on the latter. Be it burdensome travel, too much British television, multiple games on short rest or, in the Giants’ case, every circle of football hell, it felt like the folks tasked with pacifying network executives went a little overboard in 2023. Here’s hoping it all blows up in their faces. Join us, for a listing of the most screwed teams of the year (so far).
Chris Pedota, NorthJersey.com/USA TODAY Network
1. New York Giants
This schedule is borderline criminal. While the entire theme of this year’s ordering of games was “naked money grab,” forcing one of the NFL’s stalwart franchises—a team coming off a playoff berth with the reigning Coach of the Year on the sideline—to go on the road for seven of the first 10 games is ridiculous. New York is also tied for the most short-rest games out of any team in the NFL, with four according to ESPN analytics, which also noted that the Giants are tied for the most short-rest road games out of any team. I don’t count a single two-game stretch where I’d deem both games obviously winnable, and they are tied for fourth-toughest in strength of schedule. While I can predict that coaches like Brian Daboll and DC Wink Martindale, who have been through the ringer, can use this as a collective battle cry, this is the kind of legitimate screw-job that alters the course of a promising season. Closing the year with the Eagles twice in three weeks, including once on Christmas, is a middle finger at best. What on Earth did the Giants do to deserve this?
2. New York Jets
I recognize that the Jets’ schedule is absurd, but one can also understand that they did this to themselves. Unlike the Giants, the Jets went big-game hunting this offseason and acquired one of the most mercurial and fascinating players of the 2000s. Aaron Rodgers is playing for the Jets, which means that six of their games this season (so far) will take place when no other football game is on. While that would be a lot for any franchise, that also means balancing the delicacy of a long, arduous season with a media feeding frenzy. While I predict the Jets will be one of the best teams in the NFL this season—certainly good enough to upend the Bills and win the AFC East—one has to consider the possibility that their experiment will slide off the rails and they must mask palace intrigue over the course of a long year under the spotlight. Opening up with the Bills; traveling to Dallas for the Cowboys’ home opener; facing their biggest foil, the Patriots; before hosting the Chiefs in another prime-time game is an especially wicked way to start the season. The Jets also close the season on the road against the Browns before another date with New England.
3. Seattle Seahawks
The Seahawks are, once again, your United MileagePlus award winners for most miles traveled. Although, this year, they are traveling 2,000 more miles than in 2022, when they made a road trip to Germany. I think the back end of Seattle’s schedule is also particularly notable in its brutality. From Nov. 23 on, the team faces the 49ers, Cowboys, 49ers again and Eagles, before getting what you might perceive as a break with the Steelers and Titans. However, the Titans game is in Tennessee at 10 a.m. Pacific time, which is never a fun time to try to tackle Derrick Henry. Both the Titans and Steelers present a physical brand of football that no team wants to welcome at the end of a year when they’re inevitably reeling from injuries and fatigue.
4. San Francisco 49ers
The 49ers, according to ESPN analytics, are tied for the most games this season against clubs coming off a bye week. Per the same metrics, they own the worst rest differential in the NFL on a game-by-game basis. In addition, they are also the second-most traveled team in the NFL, behind Seattle. While I do think Kyle Shanahan is good enough to fend off a stat that is more problematic for younger coaches prone to self-scouting errors, it’s still a quirk that plays against a team that may be cycling quarterbacks as a strategic advantage (or needing to switch quarterbacks mid-stream) as their opponent will have ample time to prepare for multiple passers. The 49ers also have five prime-time games this season, which is tied for the second-most in the NFL. To be clear, I expect the 49ers to rip through this schedule. They have a middle-of-the-road strength of schedule and finish the season with the Commanders and Rams, neither team which I’d expect to be in contention. Their “big” game of the year, on Dec. 3 against the Eagles, is also nicely padded with a long-rest game beforehand and a comfortable-rest game against the Cardinals on the back end.
Kirby Lee/USA TODAY Sports
5. Indianapolis Colts, Houston Texans and Atlanta Falcons
I’m sorry, but how does a team like the Browns, a club the NFL was actively burying at 1 p.m. every Sunday last year to avoid talking about the circumstances through which they improved as a club, have double the number of prime-time games as a team with Shane Steichen and Anthony Richardson (the Colts), a team with DeMeco Ryans and C.J. Stroud (the Texans) and a team with Bijan Robinson, Kyle Pitts and Drake London (the Falcons). Similarly, we’ll only see Bryce Young, the No. 1 pick in the draft, twice in prime-time windows. That is the same number as Baker Mayfield and the lifeless, half-tanking Buccaneers. This is a perfect encapsulation and misunderstanding of what audiences might actually be interested in.
6. Jacksonville Jaguars
If I were the Jaguars, I’d never want to be the first team to try anything in the middle of an NFL season. While playing back-to-back London games seems fine, in theory, given they will be spending two weeks in England and will possibly hold a powerful advantage over a jet-lagged Bills squad … their second opponent in the U.K. swing is still the Buffalo Bills. Jacksonville is expected to rise to a tier just below elite this season, which means competing against the Bills should not be as daunting a prospect as it once was. Still, playing Josh Allen while still possibly time-zone delirious, and then not receiving your bye week for almost a full month after returning home feels a bit over the top. All this to entertain a country the NFL is ready to leave for Germany, anyway.
