“Gary Lineker (and others) have been lauded as being lethal in the six-yard box and we often hear of scoring a tap-in,” writes Kevin Scorah. “It got me wondering whether there has ever been a hat-trick of tap-ins, and if so, what is the shortest cumulative distance over which three goals have been scored?”
Let’s start with the man in the question. The two most famous hat-tricks of Gary Lineker’s career, against Poland in 1986 and Real Madrid in 1987, both had two tap-ins out of three and came from a combined distance of about 20 yards. We’re not great at measuring with our eyes – insert your own liquor joke here – but the Poland one was probably scored from a slightly shorter distance. Judge for yourself.
Measuring in at a similar distance – we estimate it at about 19 yards – is another English sniffer. “It might not be the shortest cumulative distance,” writes Nick Kaye, “but Andy Cole’s hat-trick against Liverpool in November 1993, when he memorably scored three almost identical goals, must take some beating.”
Even the greatest players in history know the value of a tap-in. Lionel Messi scored three of them against Granada in January 2016, from a combined total of about 17 yards. Watch it here.
While that hat-trick was unusual for Messi, Ruud van Nistelrooy’s against Newcastle in November 2002 was almost an act of self-parody.
@TheKnowledge_GU
— JoeDiego (@JoeDiego24) July 5, 2023
The shortest hat trick question: Van Nistelrooy instantly came to mind, so i watched all his hat tricks.
United 5-3 Newcastle, 23/11/02
3 open play goals at a combined estimated distance of 12 yards:
3yd header
7yd shot
2yd header
Here it is for those who want to do their own measurements.
It’s months, possibly years, since so many people sent in the same answer to a Knowledge question: Dirk Kuyt’s orgy of closer-than-close-close-range finishes for Liverpool against Manchester United in March 2011. According to the Athletic, Kuyt’s goals came from a combined total of 8.54 yards. Here’s the video.
We assumed Kuyt would be unbeatable, now and forever; we were wrong. Sam Berry and Wayne Ziants were among those who directed us towards Óscar Estupiñán’s surely unrepeatable hat-trick for Hull against Coventry at the start of last season.
“The first one smacks his head and goes in from about a yard,” writes Sam. “His second is from a relatively long distance as the ball bangs off his leg, two yards out, after some goalkeeper spillage. His third was at least deliberate, but another one-yarder. I don’t know how to find out officially, and I don’t really know how long a yard is, but I am happy to declare with full confidence that this was a cumulative 4.2-yard hat-trick.”
Whatever the official distance, it really will take some beating.
Golden oldies playing age-limited football
“While reading an article about the number of 23-year-olds in England’s current under-21 team, there was a mention of 25-year-old Gary Bailey playing in goal at the 1984 European Under-21 Championship. Is a player being four years older than the competition’s age group a record?” asks Chai from Atlanta.
We had this question back in 2009, though, as with so many Knowledge subjects, it’s well worth an upgrade. First, here’s the relevant part of our answer back then.
As Michael Haughey points out, under-21 teams used to be allowed to have over-age players. “The oldest under-21 player I can think of,” he writes, “was Hamish McAlpine of Dundee United and Scotland who played five games for the Scottish under-21 team when he was 35.”
And all above board too. Unlike some others Pablo Miguez could mention: “Brazilian Carlos Alberto played in the 2003 Youth World Cup at a mere 25 years old. He admitted it later, and that caused him to be suspended for a year.”
It’s worth dwelling on the England team that won the Euros in 1984. As Chai says, 25-year-old Gary Bailey played four of the six games in goal. When he was unavailable because of his Manchester United commitments, a younger contender stepped in: QPR’s Peter Hucker, 24.
Two of England’s scorers at the tournament were also in their mid-twenties: Birmingham’s Howard Gayle, 25, and Luton’s Brian Stein, 26. This isn’t, alas, a great untold birth-certificate scandal. Like all teams, England were allowed two overage (correct spelling) players per game.
We think the oldest player ever to play for England Under-21s was Manchester City’s giant goalkeeper Joe Corrigan, who was a few months short of his 30th birthday when he appeared against Yugoslavia in May 1978.
There have been dozens of similar examples at the Olympics, which has generally been an under-23 tournament with a certain number of overage players allowed. Nigeria’s brilliant gold medal-winning side of 1996 included established stars Uche Okechukwu (28), Emmanuel Amunike (25) and Daniel Amokachi (23, but born before the cut-off point). In the semi-final, they won a thriller 4-3 against a Brazil side that included World Cup winners Bebeto (32) and Aldair (30).
Craig Bellamy was 33 when he appeared for Great Britain in 2012, an emerging talent in comparison to his captain: Ryan Giggs, 38.
Giggs became the oldest male scorer at an Olympics, but he doesn’t hold the record mentioned in the question. “For the 2022-23 Premier League 2 season, the competition was for the under-21 age group,” begins James Straughan. “Step forward Manchester United’s Tom Huddlestone, who played at the age of 36.”
To our great surprise, Huddlestone only just makes the top 20 oldest players to appear in Premier League 2. The leader is Carlo Nash, who kept a clean sheet for Norwich against Sunderland in March 2014 at 40.
Can anyone beat that? If so, drop us a line.
You can find me in the club (that I own)
“N’Golo Kanté has bought Belgian third division side Royal Excelsior Virton,” writes Nick Williamson. “Who was the first player to own a club (not the first owner to play)? Who was the youngest? And has a player played for a club he/she owns?”
We haven’t got an answer for the first question, Nick, but Rich Browne can tick off the other two. “Kanté’s foray into club ownership at the age of 32 makes him a relative geriatric compared to the former Sierra Leone striker Mohamed Kallon. The striker bought the Sierra Fisheries team in his home country’s Premier League as a 23-year-old when he was at the peak of his powers at Inter, imaginatively renaming them Kallon FC. Seven years later the scouting network at the club unearthed a gem in signing Mr Kallon himself at the ripe old age of 30, a record Mr Kanté is going to struggle to beat.”
Knowledge archive
“Spanish side Recreativo de Huelva play in a red and white polka-dot number for away matches,” wrote Jaime Begbie in 2012. “The design transpired after Hummel were only given 10 days to put together new home/away kits after a late deal was agreed. Are they the first polka-dotted professional team?”
As the world and his wife, all the world’s wife’s friends, their families, their families’ servants, their families’ servants’ tennis partners, and some chap we bumped into the mess the other day called Bernard emailed to point out, you don’t have to look far to find a team who beat Huelva to the polka-dot idea by more than 100 years.
“I give you Bolton Wanderers, circa 1887,” offered Mark van Dijk. “According to historicalkits.co.uk, the Trotters (who turned pro in 1887) wore white jerseys with red polka dots in 1884. No photographs of this sartorial calamity exist, sadly, but the sketch on the website remains a joy to behold.”
Can you help?
Feeder clubs and clubs owned by the same owner are commonplace in football now but what's the first known case of this happening?
— Jack Tanner (@mrjacktanner) July 11, 2023
“Until a ball is kicked in anger, league tables are in alphabetical order,” writes Antony Thrower. “What is the closest a league has looked that way come the end of the season? For example, have Arsenal ever won the title just ahead of Blackburn, Chelsea, Derby and Everton etc?”
@TheKnowledge_GU has there ever been a matchday in a league where all the matches had the same result? 7 out of 8 matches on matchday 14 of the 2023 Allsvenskan ended 1-2. I'd be curious to know how rare such occurrences, or almost-occurences, are. pic.twitter.com/hckycBvCUm
— Joakim Kingström (@joa_kingstrom) July 10, 2023
“The referee at the Euro U-21 final showed four red cards and yet both teams ended up with 11 v 11. Two coaches and two previously subbed players were sent off. I’m guessing there have been occasions where problems have occurred after the final whistle resulting in more than four, but what are the most red cards shown during the game were both teams finished with 11 v 11? Has an entire bench been sent off mid-game,” wonders Steve Richards.
Here’s one for an @TheKnowledge_GU column - in the 07/08 UEFA Cup qualifiers, Zrinjski lost over the two legs 11-1 to Partizan but progressed after Partizan were disqualified after crowd trouble.
— Richard Wilson (@HYFPRW) July 9, 2023
Has any cup competition seen a side progress in spite of a larger loss than that?
“Notts County’s Macaulay Langstaff broke the single-season fifth-tier scoring record with an impressive 42 goals,” notes Samson Sharratt. “What makes this even more impressive is that none came from the penalty spot. Is this the most goals scored by any player in any league in one season without scoring any penalties at all?”
Deportivo Saprissa, Costa Rica's most successful club, is named after Ricardo Saprissa, who supplied the club's first uniforms. Are there any other clubs which are named after kit sponsors?
— Ben (@BenJaneson) July 11, 2023
Mail us your questions or tweet @TheKnowledge_GU.
