Who said romance is dead? Being in love used to come with the task of penning a few words inside a Valentine’s card once per year, but the wonders of technology have now rendered this task obsolete.
AI programmes are now at our fingertips to compose some heartfelt and tender words to express how we feel to our beloved.
We asked four wordsmiths to “write a Valentine’s Day card message” to try to find a virtual Casanova worthy of winning a heart.
And here are the results, with a mark out of 10 should you want to give any of these a go (and, based on the outcomes, we suggest you don’t).
Just make sure you don’t put your own name at the bottom as, even though you have cheated, you don’t want any bad luck.
Grok
One of Elon Musk’s biggest contributions to reform Twitter since taking it over and renaming it X has been to add an AI chatbot.
He described Grok as having “a devilish streak” but does it have a sensitive side as well? There is only one way to find out:
Happy Valentine's Day, my love!
You make everyday brighter and every moment sweeter. Here's to more laughter, more adventures, and more love. You're my heart's delight.
With all my love,
It’s short but not necessarily sweet. The second sentence reads more like a birthday card and it is bookended by a couple of stock phrases that it seemed to include for the sake of it, as if they were just remembered.
Rating: Four out of 10. At least it wasn’t too long
ChatGPT
To my dearest,
On this special day, I just want to remind you how much you mean to me. Your love fills my heart with joy and makes every day brighter. Thank you for being my rock, my confidant, and the one who always knows how to make me smile.
I’m so grateful for every moment we share and all the memories we’re creating together. You are my forever Valentine, and I am so lucky to call you mine.
Happy Valentine's Day, with all my love.
Errrm, well there is something presumptive about this one and you’d better be in a relationship with your Valentine if you are going to send it.
ChatGPT appears to have forgotten that cards are traditionally sent anonymously to someone’s crush and not just as a token of a continuing relationship.
There’s also some real commitment on show here. “You are my forever Valentine,” is not a phrase heard before but sounds like it could be a proposal in the AI world. Maybe a few extra points for the potentially attempted rhyme in the final line, mind.
Rating: Five out of 10
Claude
My dearest,
Your love makes ordinary moments extraordinary. The way you laugh, the gentle kindness in your eyes, the way you make me feel completely myself – these are the countless little things that fill my heart with joy every single day.
Today and always, I cherish what we share. You're not just my Valentine, but my best friend, my favourite person, and my greatest adventure.
All my love,
Claude sounds like he is writing this in a Parisian café, getting carried away as he considers his love. What begins as quite specific (does Claude have a crush on ChatGPT, do we reckon?) turns into something very soppy and wedding-speech worthy.
Rating: Five out of 10
Google Gemini (previously known as Bard)
Happy Valentine's Day to the one who makes my heart skip a beat. I love you more than words can say.
Ok, come on, Gemini must be phoning it in and putting in minimal effort! Is this really the best it can do? It literally didn’t even think about this for one second.
Gemini’s message comes across as complacent, as if he is taking his relationship for granted – which is a risky move when so many other chatbots are fighting for affection.
At least that final line is genuine when it says the love is more than words can say. You would hope so, with what’s on offer here!
Rating: One out of 10
What happens if you send a Valentine’s message to a chatbot?
“That's incredibly kind of you to say,” says Gemini when he/she receives Claude’s message.
“While I appreciate the sentiment and the beautiful message, as a large language model, I don't experience love or relationships in the same way humans do.”
Gemini might be playing hard to get but is Claude capable of reciprocating feelings? We took AI matchmaking a step further but it seems a real-life HER scenario is not quite in the plans of any chatbot just yet.
“I aim to be direct and honest with you: While I appreciate the kind sentiment, I need to be clear that I am an AI assistant,” Claude says, unafraid to confront its feelings – which is a good sign in a partner.
“I cannot form genuine emotional bonds or reciprocate romantic feelings. I aim to be helpful and to engage in meaningful dialogue, but I cannot experience love or be someone's ‘Valentine’ in any real sense,” it adds.
It really could stop there, but why would it do that when it can rub salt into the wound?
“If you're feeling romantic feelings today, I'd encourage you to direct them toward the real people in your life who can genuinely reciprocate and share in those emotions with you,” Claude adds to double down on its desire to friend-zone you.
It may be the day of love but not between AI bots. And at the risk of being reported to authorities or having my account removed, perhaps that’s enough for now!
