While much of the NFL world is already onto the Divisional Round this weekend, there’s still much to sort through about the future of Tom Brady’s playing career — one of the greatest players in pro football history.
Fresh off Dak Prescott and Dallas Cowboys smacking around Brady’s Tampa Bay Buccaneers in the NFC Wild Card Game on Monday night, the focus on Brady’s next potential team — if he doesn’t hang his cleats up — came rather quickly.
For example, my pal Charles Curtis already ranked the best possible destinations for the “GOAT” in 2023 if he continues to play in the NFL. But, for as much as I love the forward-thinking, I don’t think Brady’s decision process will be so simple. I think he will leave a trail of clues for us all to try and piece together as the weeks go by before the start of the new league year in March. I think he wants us to solve an elaborate mystery of sorts.
In the interest of saving you valuable time, patience, and energy, I put on my best deerstalker cap and morphed into the NFL’s Sherlock Holmes. Through my comprehensive investigation, I think we’ll have the best idea of where Brady will call home in 2023 if he doesn’t retire.
Remember: To a great mind, er, quarterback — nothing is little.
5
Just narrowing down the top options
Let’s nip some of the proposed squads in Brady’s future in the bud.
He’s probably not going back to Tampa Bay. The Buccaneers failed him gravely in 2022 and, as an older team, have an extended path back to relevance as they try to rebuild.
I doubt he’ll go to Tennessee. I’m sure he’s still pals with Mike Vrabel and all, but the Titans aren’t exactly … a picture-perfect organization at the moment. After firing a spate of assistants while watching his GM get fired, Vrabel is too busy trying to cover his tracks as someone extremely culpable in Tennessee’s fall from grace. That is not a realistic option for a soon-to-be 46-year-old quarterback.
And Las Vegas? Are we certain Brady would put himself out there for Josh McDaniels and Josh McDaniels alone? Is McDaniels really the picture of stability as a head coach? The only appealing aspect of playing with the Raiders is Davante Adams. There’s not much else in Nevada in terms of promise.
4
Everything is about championships
Brady’s only going to continue playing pro football for a quarter-century because he wants an unprecedented eighth Super Bowl victory.
So, for realistic options, try and tell me you couldn’t see Brady thriving in YAC-heaven with the San Francisco 49ers. There is nothing that man would love more than dumping off short passes to George Kittle and Deebo Samuel as they take the ball the length of the field, while a dominant defense gives him excellent field position.
The same sentiment would largely hold true in Miami. As a noted connoisseur of great receiver play, if Tua Tagovailoa can thrive with Tyreek Hill and Jaylen Waddle, imagine what Brady could achieve with the Dolphins if the former first-round quarterback isn’t healthy enough to play in 2023.
3
Tactfulness is the name of the game
Provided Brady gives his prospective team plenty of leeway, there are zero reasons to assume a ton of planning and tact wouldn’t go into arranging their marriage. Any number of the 49ers, Dolphins, Raiders, etc., etc., and what have you, would be laying out a red-carpet — replete with a nice blank check, a solid offensive line, and heavy playoff success incentives — to ensure Brady is as comfortable as possible.
If Brady is going to near his 50s while still subjecting himself to hits from 250-pound men, he’ll need to have his own isolated, thoughtful bubble again. Some people just get these sorts of exceptions — it’s the way the world works!
2
Satisfaction and sensation
Of course, Brady potentially playing with a third team in 2023 doesn’t necessarily guarantee he’ll be playing deep into January and … February. And whichever team signs him on a very likely short-term deal will understand this unfortunate reality. Breaking news: it’s hard to win championships in football!
So winning titles won’t be their only motivation, as much as it might be Brady’s. Sometimes, in a league where seemingly half the teams are afterthoughts or otherwise outright laughingstocks, it’s about selling tickets and putting butts in seats, first and foremost.
Whoever was to add Brady wouldn’t have an issue generating interest, but just think of the possibilities in San Francisco, Miami … New York, and him trying to navigate those separate media circuses. This is precisely what those organizations want: The “GOAT” bringing hype and even more extended relevance to them. And I have to think Brady would take this into account, too. Oh, how the plot thickens.
1
Brady's final team choice for 2023 is elementary, my dearest Watsons
Okay.
Confession time.
Go back and read the first letter of each of the four steps of this Noted Detective’s investigation.
J-E-T-S.
JETS. JETS. JETS. (Sorry, that’s reflexive.)
To me, in all seriousness, the best spot for Brady is New York. He gets to play against and beat Bill Belichick — the man who dared to give up on him — out of spite twice a year. He would have a talented offensive supporting cast with legit dynamic weapons like Garrett Wilson and a healed Breece Hall, while young First-Team All-Pro defenders Quinnen Williams and Sauce Gardner get him the ball back … a lot.
Plus, there’s the New York media market. Imagine Brady in the Big Apple and those folks turning quite literally anything he says or does into a story. (“Here’s what Brady had for breakfast this morning” would not be exaggerated.) I know Brady is mostly about winning at this stage of his career, but it feels like he’s also got a hankering for attention. He’d be lying if he said if he didn’t. There’s no doubt in my mind he would adore being under the intense New York microscope.
Get that man in Jets green, and let’s watch a new sensation develop for this Gen-Xer that simply refuses to walk away from the sport for some reason. I bet he’s already on Zillow (do people like him use Zillow?) researching mansions in the Hamptons.
