Rave on: Phonox
(Picture: Press handout)December is best treated as a gleefully devilish month; it is one where calories are best shed on the dancefloor, not sweated off in the grimness of a gym. Party season means letting go, raising a glass to 2022 and saying good riddance to bad rubbish. Here’s where to tuck in, drink your fill and get up and do your thing. Grab your gladrags and go. See you out there.
Eat, drink and be merry
Bacchanalia
That wily Richard Caring, he’s done it again. The Scott’s restaurateur has a knack for a style of glamour so over-the-top that it transcends all normal comprehension and must simply be accepted as is (well, mostly). Bacchanalia is ridiculous every which way, filled with 2,000-year-old sculptures as well as some Damien Hirst unicorns, and Hirst’s take on Medusa, which happens to be based on his ex. Stay classy, Damien. Broccoli and bread are also nine quid. Still, none of it matters: this is where the aristos and aristo-adjacent are heading, along with their actor mates and a few stray Lamborghini-leasing types. And the thing is — all of them are having an utter blast. The name, then, is being lived up to.
1-3 Mount Street, W1, bacchanalia.co.uk
Sweeties
Launched in February with the best of intentions — its cocktails are full to bursting with “energising adaptogens and nootropics”, which is about as healthy as cups full of booze get — Sweeties early on drew a vogueish set who worry about such trifling matters as health. But a well-behaved bar it is not: the good-looking always dance, and Sweeties has become a late-night go-to for its DJs, disco balls and 3am finishes.
The Standard, 10 Argyle Street, WC1, standardhotels.com
Amazónico
Few portmanteaus induce nausea quite like “clubstaurant”, but it’s a fitting term here. The loop of Berkeley Square can be thought of as a bling ring — taking in Annabel’s (annabels.co.uk), Sexy Fish (sexyfish.com) and Park Chinois (parkchinois.com) — and this spot sums them all up. Behind the Latin-American restaurant front is “the Club”; DJs spin and live acts play, and cocktails go round and round. The late-night parties — Noche Tardiva — are big too; the next is on Friday, December 16. Similar vibes might be achieved in Isabel’s Dragon Room (isabelw1.london) or at Hovarda (hovarda.london).
10 Berkeley Square, W1, amazonicorestaurant.com
Doña
Hackney’s Doña, which glows like a neon flamingo, is part burlesque hideaway, part agaveri and part acid jazz den. Famous for its backlit bar of tequila and mezcal, come for a margarita and stay to dance with a stylish, sideways crowd to everything from Brazilian afro beat to Baltic rock fusion. Cabaret is a fixture: look out for the Carol Swingers’ “office parties”, from December 20 to 22.
92 Stoke Newington High Street, N16, bardonalondon.com
The Twenty-Two
Consider this a representative of all the private spots desirable to be invited to; others include the pink and marble Nikita (nikita-london.com) and end-of-the-night stalwarts Quo Vadis (quovadissoho.co.uk)and the Groucho (thegrouchoclub.com), where you’ll have to be invited as there’s a pause on new memberships. The Twenty-Two is the one for a well-groomed set, mostly a restaurant with a small bar beside the entrance, and draws the names: FKA Twigs and Christian Louboutin have both been in. The room here crackles with chatter; consider it a starting point for an unravelling kind of night.
22 Grosvenor Sq, W1, the22.london
Brix
When a place is 8,500 sq ft, people will always find room to let loose. So it is at Brix, which is both a lively restaurant and late-night bar, and also a space for the likes of Idris Elba to DJ. Dolled-up crowds come to eat but they stay to drink, and then they stay to dance: that there’s a brunch which begins at 3pm and finishes way past midnight says just about everything there is to know.
16 Great Guildford Street, SE1, brixldn.com
The Retro Bar
Retro since the day it opened 25 years ago, bars tucked down grim side-streets off the Stand do not tend to survive — unless there’s something about them. This famously-inclusive LGBTQ+ place has it, drawing a multi-generational crowd who ogle its rock n’ roll portraits and each other. Nights come in all outfits here: sing-a-longs and DJ sets and quizzes and bingo and the odd late-night party, too. The jukebox is rightly revered. Look out for the NYE party, too.
2 George Court, WC2, retrobarlondon.co.uk
Gerry’s and Trisha’s
Married here as both are fine purveyors of ruinous hangovers, Gerry’s and Trisha’s are late-night drinking dens beyond any comparison other than to themselves. While each attract their fair share of wrong ’uns — seemingly well-mannered villains from a different era — these Soho basements lately have been filling with a younger, chicer crowd. There is a kind of gleeful rejection of any normal rules here, though the posing that marks the Soho House set is outright banned. Come to cut a rug, drink a skinful, and do so blissfully free of judgment. Live music is often on.
Both W1; gerrysclub.co.uk, @trishas_soho
Hit the club
The Social
This revered two-storey club has hosted the likes of Adele, Lily Allen, and Irvine Welsh, all of whom come to the Portland Street haunt for its eclectic variety of music, from the very newest and unknown bangers to the most classic and forgotten hits. With a 1am closing time, it’s the perfect place to squeeze in a dance, spot a celeb, and still make your last train home.
5 Little Portland Street, W1, thesocial.com
Tola
A late-night bar and music venue that is beloved for its friendly atmosphere and leg-shaking music that spans house, disco and dance. This hidden gem is largely frequented by Peckham’s local creative scene, but on the weekend those from every borough descend on its dancefloor, which stays active until 4am. Tickets are typically available on the door, meaning that it’s good for both pre-planned clubbers and stragglers looking for a motive after last orders.
56 Peckham High Street, SE15, tolapeckham.com
The Glory
East London “superpub” The Glory has pretty much everything that you could ever want from a night out — camp cabaret, a naughty nightclub in the basement, cheap drinks, delinquent drag and outrageously good DJs. As a queer venue first and foremost, creating a safe space is at the core of everything they do. The brainchild of Jonny Woo, arguably the head honcho of London’s alt gay scene, this venue always delivers a night you can’t remember (but wish that you could).
281 Kingsland Rd, E2, theglory.co
Printworks
With room for 6,000 and a never-ending carousel of elite DJs, Printworks is the Final Boss for ravers. Get lost in a night (and morning and afternoon — if you can hack it) of true hedonism before the venue sadly closes next year. Despite a 10,000-strong petition, the super-club is soon to close, so be sure to visit for one last hurrah; the 2023 season features Deadmau5, Kaskade, Adonis and Big Dyke Energy. The run- up to Christmas, meanwhile, has Amelie Lens and the Chemical Brothers.
Surrey Quays Road, SE16, printworkslondon.co.uk
Phonox
Phonox has long stuck to its winning formula of one dance floor, one throbbing sound system, one resident DJ and a carefully curated selection of guest artists coming in every weekend. The bar is big and well staffed, and there’s a small lounge area upstairs for those needing a quick breather. Expect a varied selection of drum ‘n’ bass, jungle, disco, afrobeat, techno and everything in between, with the likes of Derrick Carter and Bicep making hyped debuts there over the last seven years.
418 Brixton Rd, SW9, phonox.co.uk
Corsica Studios
With quality music programming and a mega Funktion One sound system, this intimate venue is a mecca for South London party animals. Tucked under the Elephant and Castle bridges, it’s small enough to get lost in a trance on the dancefloor and to not worry about losing your friends. Yet big enough to make a whole new group of mates in the smoking area, which many do at this community-spirited club. Having started life as a nomadic party in the late 90s, it has built a reputation for its astonishing cool underground selectors - just think of it as where your favourite DJ goes to watch their favourite DJ. Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals.
