Growing up, we were all taught to show kindness to our fellow humans. In doing so, we discover that there are people who will take advantage of the selflessness you show them.
This woman opened her home to some friends and family who acted like hotel guests needing service. What frustrated her the most was that she received no thank you or any form of appreciation.
She is now sharing her grievances with the Mildly Infuriating subreddit to vent and get some clarity.
There are people who will take advantage of the kindness you show them
Image credits: nebojsa_ki / Envato (not the actual photo)
A woman experienced this with some friends and relatives who stayed in the guest bedroom of her home
Image credits: DC_Studio / Envato (not the actual photo)
She also vehemently denied being a doormat
Image credits: checktheindex
There are tell-tale signs of being a pushover
Although the woman has denied being a doormat to her friends and family, she has shown signs of being one.
Clinical psychologist and author Dr. Sherrie Campbell says one indicator is consistently softening one’s position out of concern that it will not be well-received. The author did this when she let one of her guests order food, but the guest did not pay despite promising to do so. Instead, she chose to let it slide.
According to Dr. Campbell, withholding emotions is another tell-tale sign. The woman did this when she repeatedly allowed her guests to act like entitled hotel patrons.
As she admitted in her post, she was just about “ready to say no” after everything happened when she should’ve done so the moment she sensed everyone’s behavior.
Image credits: alexeyzhilkin / Freepik (not the actual photo)
“Whenever you fail to express your true thoughts and opinions, you cannot become a person who is seen as having value, causing you to get looked over,” Dr. Campbell wrote in an article for HuffPost.
It can be difficult to accept that someone is taking advantage of you, let alone that it is a friend or relative. However, knowing these tell-tale signs should push you to take the necessary steps.
According to leadership coach and executive advisor Marcel Schwantes, it all boils down to assertive communication. In his article for Inc., Schwantes reminds readers of the right to say no, especially if the people they deal with interfere with their goals and beliefs.
“You do not have to be a yes-person for anyone; it takes too much effort and leaves you frustrated,” he wrote, adding that it is possible to say no to someone without being harsh. Ultimately, it’s about setting healthy boundaries.
The author’s recognition of the need to put her foot down and say no next time is a step in the right direction. However, she must follow through and not let her friends and family get used to taking advantage of her in any way.
Most commenters were slightly critical and nonetheless believed she was a “pushover”
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