Prison is about the worst possible place to spend Christmas but some may argue prisoners deserve a bit of Christmas cheer.
As we do every year, we've asked the Ministry of Justice what inmates at Leeds' three prisons – Armley, Wealstun and Wetherby – will be eating on December 25.
Via Freedom of Information, we've also asked what the residents of the city's penal institutions will be offered on Boxing Day and New Year's Day 2022.
Read the latest crime news around Leeds here.
Will it be ho-ho-ho at HMP or will it be cold turkey and another serving of porridge?
What's cooking for vegetarian, vegan and Muslim inmates?
Will Armley Nick's famous 'phat seriously cheesy pasty' be back?
Here's what's on the menu.
HMP Leeds (aka Armley Jail)
Christmas Day
Inmates at this category B and remand prison will be waking up to a sausage, veggie sausage or egg sandwich.
For lunch, there will be sliced turkey and stuffing, a steak and kidney pie, halal chicken and mushroom pie plus veggie and vegan options. All are served with roast potatoes, baby carrots, sprouts and gravy.
Tea appears to be pastry-based although we're disappointed to see the 'phat seriously cheesy pasty' is no longer on the menu. There is a slice of Christmas cake, though.
Boxing Day
Inmates will be waking up to another sausage, veggie sausage or egg sandwich.
Lunch includes chicken balti pie, braised steak or halal sausage with onion gravy.
It's back to Pasty City for tea although there's a rocky road slice.
New Year's Day
Inmates will be waking up to yet another sausage, veggie sausage or egg sandwich.
For lunch, prisoners can have half a halal chicken, smoked haddock and mozzarella fish cake or a vegan schnitzel among other things.
Tea is – you've guessed it – pasty-based although there's a Christmas tree (shaped?) shortbread.
HMP Wealstun
Christmas Day
Breakfast at this cat C prison, near Wetherby, doesn't sound very festive; a breakfast pack (cereal?) and UHT milk. Bah humbug.
Lunch is more seasonal with roast turkey, pork or a vegan wellington with trimming plus a halal and fish option.
Tea is a cheese pasty, Dairylea triangles and a baguette although there's Christmas cake and a mince pie too.
Boxing Day
After another breakfast pack and UHT milk, lunch comprises a chicken biryani, vegan schnitzel, homemade lasagna, Cajun baked fish or gammon and pineapple.
Tea is very similar to Christmas Day although it's a halal steak pasty and an 'individually [wrapped?] cake'.
New Year's Day
Groan – it's another breakfast pack and UHT milk.
Still, lunch is less depressing with homemade halal steak pie or smoked haddock fish cakes, homemade turkey and bacon pie, roast beef and Yorkshire puddings or veggie or vegan bubble and squeak.
Tea is more or less the same as the previous two holidays with a cheese pasty and an individually wrapped cake.
YOI Wetherby
Christmas Day
It's a 'Xmas breakfast pack' at this YOI (Young Offenders' Institution) though with fresh milk. Sorry, Wealstun.
Lunch includes a traditional turkey dinner with the trimmings or a sweet potato, mushroom and tarragon parcel plus other meat and meat-free and dairy-free mains.
For tea, there's a falafel wrap, a coronation chicken sandwich, a turkey, stuffing and cranberry baguette or a cauliflower, chickpea and bhaji pasty followed by Christmas cake.
Boxing Day
Apart from another 'Xmas breakfast pack', the menu doesn't look very festive. Spanish omelette and a Cornetto sound like the best of a dull selection.
Tea is a salad, sandwiches, a sausage roll or noodles followed by rocky road.
New Year's Day
Prisoners will wake up to a breakfast pack and orange juice followed by lunch comprising a cheese omelette, lamb sausage, bacon chop, Quorn sausage or vegetable biryani.
Tea options include an apple and celery salad, a tuna and sweetcorn pasta pot, sandwiches or curried noodles. At least there's a chocolate orange cookie to follow.
So, who is the winner?
With its homemade selection, Wealstun looks like the winner.
A Ministry of Justice spokesperson said: "Meals in prisons over Christmas are paid for from within the existing budget and at no extra cost to the taxpayer.
"What is spent on food per prisoner per day, and the breakdown per meals, is ultimately a decision for each governor and their catering team as part of the devolved prison budget."
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