There is a curious ceasefire between Granit Xhaka and the Arsenal supporters right now. If you were to do a straw poll among the fanbase it's probably safe to guess that the majority would want an upgrade on him this summer, but at the same time most would also acknowledge that the Gunners midfield is considerably weaker without him in it.
Nowhere was this more pertinently felt than in Saturday's 2-1 lost ro Brighton. The vitriolic response which greeted the news that the Swiss international was going to be starting at left back was telling. His partnership with Thomas Partey has been crucial to Arsenal's good run of form since December. When the pair have started together this season the Gunners have won 71% of their matches as opposed to just 41% of the games when they haven't.
It is no surprise that the wheels appear to be falling off Arsenal's top four push now that that essential duo has been broken up by a potentially season-ending injury for the Ghanaian. Despite this though there remains a huge hurdle for most supporters that their relationship with Xhaka will never be able to overcome.
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That is of course the now infamous incident against Crystal Palace two and a half years ago. In the midst of a poor run of form Arsenal had let a two goal lead slip against the Eagles, and with half an hour remaining Unai Emery decided to withdraw his captain from proceedings in order to introduce Bukayo Saka. What happened next is something that still traumatises Xhaka to this very day.
"That day against Crystal Palace, things went over the line," he said speaking exclusively to The Players’ Tribune. "We had been 2–0 up, they made it 2–2, and then I was taken off after about an hour. I had barely begun to move when I heard the boos. And it was not just a few guys in the corner — it was a lot of people. I was shocked. I had never experienced anything like this. When I got close to the tunnel, I looked up at the fans sitting there — and this is the part that I will always remember.
"When I close my eyes now, I can still see their faces. I can see their anger. It’s not that they don’t like me. No, it’s different. This is hate. Pure hate. I am really not exaggerating this.
"Listen, I have never had a problem with criticism. Was Xhaka s*** today? O.K. No problem. But to be booed by your own fans? As captain? That is different. That is about respect. This word has always been huge for me, ever since I was a kid. It’s something I got from my mother. Respect for your parents. Respect for your club, your teammates, your fans.
"That day, I felt very disrespected. The comments were over the line. It felt personal. Yes, I was the Arsenal captain. But I am also a human being. So as a human being, hurt, I reacted. I talked back, I cupped an ear, and when I got off the pitch I threw my shirt on the ground and went down the tunnel.
"Was I wrong to do what I did? Yes. But would I do anything differently if it happened again tomorrow? Honestly, I don’t know. I have to be honest about that. I’m an emotional guy. To feel that level of hatred and disrespect, I wouldn’t want it for my worst enemy.
"Still to this day, if we have lost, I hate walking those last metres to the tunnel, because I still recognise the faces. The same people are sitting there. So now, I just keep my head down. I lived through that nightmare once. I don’t ever want to do it again."
After that day Xhaka was stripped of the club captaincy and exiled from the squad for a short while. In that period he had decided to leave and a move back to Germany was on the verge of completion. However, during the Swiss international's time away from the side things had changed dramatically. Emery had been unable to stem the flood of bad performances and he had been replaced by Mikel Arteta. Xhaka has revealed now that it was only conversations with the new Gunners boss that stopped him from exiting the Emirates in January of 2019.
"When Mikel was appointed in December, I told him that I wanted to leave," the 29-year-old said. "He understood completely. We had a second chat a few days later, and when I went in, I had talked it through with my wife. Our suitcases were literally placed by the door. When I have made a decision like that, it is very difficult to change my mind.
"But then Mikel began to talk about how I was a big part of his plans. I liked his warmth. He was honest, straight. Clear plans. I felt I could trust him. He told me to give him six months to prove me wrong, and then if I still wanted to leave, no problem. Normally I spend a lot of time making these decisions. I talk to everyone around me, I weigh up the pros and cons. But that day I broke my own rules. I told Mikel, 'O.K.'"
That decision has certainly proved a divisive one. Since being persuaded to stay, the Swiss midfielder has picked up three red cards, and as he approaches 30-years-of-age it is difficult to see this hot headed streak disappearing from his game. What's clear from his recounting of the Palace incident is just how unapologetically himself Xhaka is.
Learning from mistakes has never been a real strong suit during his near-six year tenure at the club, and it is probably for the reason that the pause in hostilities between Xhaka and the Arsenal fanbase feels so precarious. That relationship though is something the former Borussia Monchengladbach man wants to improve, but not if it means changing who he is.
"I can’t pretend that my relationship with the fans will ever be the same, because that moment will always be in my heart," he said. "It’s like broken glass, you know? You can piece it together, but the cracks will always be there.
"I would like us to have a better relationship. I would like us to understand each other better. That is exactly why I’m telling you all this. I know we players are privileged, but you have to understand that our lives can be very, very difficult, too.
"Of course, you never get to know about our problems, because we never talk, and we never do anything together. To you we are just players running around for 90 minutes and then, 'Goodbye!' But I don’t think this is right. People say, 'Yeah, but this is your job, you get big money for it.' Yes, I know.
"But if a family member dies, how do you feel? What if your wife just had a baby, and tomorrow you have to play a final in Baku? Is that easy? For me, it is not. Yes, money is important, but it is not everything.
"Then you have the criticism. I think a lot of players here in England are scared by it. I can handle it — the day I can’t, I’ll stop. But I can honestly say that it is easier for me to play for Switzerland, because I feel more love there. You make a mistake? It’s O.K. It happens. But here? They kill you. It’s unbelievable.
"One week it’s, 'Ah, he’s so good!' The next week, 'He’s s***.' So players go, Ah, today I don’t want to make mistakes. They play it safe. When we are losing, I know what people are saying about me. When we are playing well, nobody says anything, but I know what people think. I don’t forget what I hear. 'He gets too many cards.' 'He’s killing our game.' Listen, the cards have always been part of my game. They were in Germany, too."
"If I elbow a player, I’ll be the first one to say, 'I’m sorry,'" he went on to add. "But a tackle? Come on, guys. This is not ballet. 'Yeah, but it happens too often.' Then let me ask this question: Why do the coaches keep playing me? Because I’m a 'good guy'? No, no. It’s because I train hard, I work hard and I try to help my teammates. Because I believe you play the way you train."
Speculation is rife over what the future holds for Xhaka beyond the end of this season. football.london understands that Roma could rekindle their interest for the Swiss international after coming close to signing him last summer. For his part though Xhaka seems happy to stay in North London.
"Obviously you can never predict the future in football, but I do know a few things," he said. "After this season, I have two years left of my contract. I still love this club. I believe Mikel is building a great team. And I want to achieve something special here."
Many view the left-sided eight role that Xhaka has made his home during Arsenal's recent run as a point of necessary evolution in the transfer window, while several others feel his importance to the balance of the Gunners' current set up cannot be overstated. Until then though the Swiss international has a key role to play in helping Mikel Arteta's men to achieve their aim of qualifying for next season's Champions League. It appears the tempestuous relationship between Xhaka and the Arsenal fans is set to rumble on.
