The lotus sex position is one for all the lovers who enjoy getting real intimate with their partner in the bedroom. If face-to-face connection and plenty of eye contact sound like something you're interested in, we're here to reveal all you need to know.
This is a position that gets its name from the traditional yoga move as well, so as much as it's a slow and rhythmic position that promises minimal stress on the body (and the mind), there are some physical benefits to be had.
You may have also heard of the lotus referred to as the yab yum sex position, its traditional name. As one of the best sex positions out there, it's ideal for leveling up intimacy, reducing pressure on the pelvic floor, and so much more. Here, we speak to a certified sexologist who reveals what the lotus sex position is all about and how you can get the benefits with your partner.
What is the lotus sex position?
The lotus sex position has the penetrating partner sitting cross-legged on the floor, while the receiving partner straddles them, explains clinical sexologist Ness Cooper. "The person on top lower themselves down in a low squat position or wraps their legs around their partner, depending on what’s most comfortable for them," she says.
From here, partners can either grind together, the bottom partner supporting the top with their hands around their back, or the top partner can move up and down. Whatever works best, there's no one right way to do the lotus sex position.
For this reason, it's similar to the cowgirl or the reverse cowgirl sex position, except the partner on the bottom is sat up and pressed against the other, instead of lying down.
The lotus is a sex position that can work for any dynamic, both partners just need to be ready for some serious face-to-face intimacy. "The person on the bottom may penetrate a partner with a strap-on or penis," Cooper, who is also the founder of The Sex Consultant, adds.
Benefits of the lotus sex position
1. Relaxes the pelvic floor
The lotus sex position can relax the pelvic floor, which can lead to better orgasms for some people, explains Cooper, making it one of the best sex positions after menopause to try.
"As the sex position opens up the hips a lot for the penetrating partner, it may help relax the pelvic floor in ways they don’t experience in other sex positions," she says. "However, if the penetrating partner has osteoarthritis of the hips or pelvis, or hip dysplasia, they may find this sex position can lead to a flare-up."
As with any sex position out there, you're only going to get the benefits if it's comfortable for you. If something doesn't feel right, don't be concerned about switching things up.
2. The lotus improves intimacy during sex
Lovers of doggy-style, look away now. As noted, the lotus is one of the most intimate sex positions, given the proximity of partners to each other throughout. "You can even stare into each other's eyes during sex, which can help increase feel-good hormones as well as make it more intimate," Cooper says.
While there's a place for missionary and the butterfly sex position in every relationship, for those bored of top-partner dominance during sex, the lotus can be a great way to rebalance the dynamic and re-establish a romantic connection. "Some people feel that sex positions such as the lotus can help level the playing field when it comes to power dynamics within the bedroom," she explains.
"It also allows you to be able to communicate with each other easier as you can whisper things into each other’s ears as you nestle close into each other’s bodies."
3. Lower risk of position fatigue
Position fatigue is real when it comes to moves like the clasp sex position, which requires both partners to hold themselves up in one spot for the whole time. Cramping, aches, and pains are all very real problems in the bedroom.
It's not a problem with the lotus though, the sexologist says. "The penetrating partner can help support the receiving partner's movements by helping move their body with their hands, which can reduce fatigue."
4. It's easy to include sex toys in the lotus sex position
Many people need some kind of other stimulation during sex, aside from clitoral and penetrative, to have an orgasm. In fact, research by the
Southern California Center for Sexual Health and Survivorship Medicine suggests as many as 80% of women find nipple stimulation to be a significant contributor to sexual satisfaction.
There's not a whole lot of physical space between partners in the lotus sex position but it's still a good one for incorporating your pick of the best sex toys in this way. "It can allow you to stimulate each other's upper body, including the breasts and other erogenous zones," says Cooper.
5. Deeper vaginal penetration
However, for those who do enjoy penetration most during sex, the lotus sex position really is a winner. "If the person on top wraps their legs around the penetrating partner, it can lead to increased clitoral stimulation and deeper vaginal penetration," says Cooper.
How to improve the lotus sex position
The lotus is one of the more relaxed sex positions out there but there are a couple of ways to improve the experience for all involved. If you're finding it difficult or it's not quite working for you, this is what Cooper suggests:
"Having a pillow under the buttock can help alter the angle of the penis or strap-on during penetration," she says. "This can also help reduce lower back pain during sex if you are prone to it. Plus, the softness of the pillow may also allow you to place a bullet vibrator under the perineum during the sex position for added stimulation."
Also, as all body shapes vary, sometimes the body can get in the way of penetration. "To resolve this issue, the person underneath can lean backward more, placing their arms behind them to support them, or their partner on top can support them by holding a sex position strap that’s looped round their partner's back."
