TikTok is home to a whole host of different theories. But one of them claims to be the key to a successful, long lasting relationship.
The "black cat and golden retriever" theory is sparking a debate about different relationship types and why opposites attract.
Black Cat Energy has 71.7m views on TikTok, while the Golden Retriever Boyfriend has 164.8m views.
Anna Kristina (@annakrstna), a self-described “mindset coach”, explained in a TikTok that women must become the "black cat" in the relationship because “women are never happy in their relationships and marriages if they end up chasing their man”. The video has over 6.5m views and over 469,200 likes.
@annakrstna Replying to @Tina Kaur #love #dreamgirl #beauty #relationship #dating #datingadvice #femmefatale #feminineenergy #desire #obsession #darkpsychology #sprinklesprinkle #femininity #psychology #selflove
♬ original sound - Anna Kristina 🤍
“The best dynamic in a relationship if you want it to last is the one where she’s the mysterious femme fatal black cat and he’s the loyal golden retriever,” she says in the video.
“It’s the woman who needs to maintain the mystery, the independence, she serves herself first because the black cat comes and goes as she pleases.”
“This pleases the golden retriever because he sits on the edge of his seat still being intrigued by the black cat, always being interested and entertained because he feels like he never has a hold of her.”
She goes on to list examples of famous black cat, golden retriever relationship dynamics, including, Prince Harry and Meghan, Brooklyn Beckham and Nicola Peltz Beckham, Kylie Jenner and Timothée Chalamet, and Rihanna and ASAP Rocky.
On a similar TikTok posted by Anna Kristina, a comment reads: “How do we black cat though?”, to which a user replies: “Basically embody queen energy, don't show jealousy, envy, insecurity. Know that you are enough and you are the best.”
According to the theory, the man should always be the golden retriever, while the woman should be the black cat – or else the relationship will fail, because when the man is the black cat, he “gets bored” and has “no sexual attraction”.
Kristina lists Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth, and Rihanna and Drake as couples who did not work out.
Another TikToker, Ani B (anibaaby), who referred to herself as “the black cat big sis of TikTok” posted a video encouraging women to “turn on their black cat energy”.
“A black cat is very picky and choosy about their energy, and who holds them and gives them love,” she explains.
“A golden retriever is at your feet begging for your attention.
“We do not chase, we attract,” she says.
However, Chantelle Otten, Bumble’s resident sexologist, spoke to news.com.au about some of the flaws of the theory.
“It is very heteronormative, and it does not leave space for queer relationships or different kinds of relationship configurations,” she said.
“It also further entrenches that most straight males are friendly and outgoing while women are more reserved and difficult to please."
She added: “Comparing women to cats is also another example of sexism.”
