For most of her life, Stephanie* felt like she was living in two worlds.
Raised by migrant parents, she naturally adopted the same cultural beliefs, values and practices.
However, growing up in Australia meant she found herself engaging in the "art of covering" as she calls it, otherwise known as code-switching.
"As soon as I stepped outside of that safe bubble of home, I told myself: "OK, I'm outside. it's time to not be Chinese'," she says.
And a recent Diversity Council Australia (DCA) report revealed that many of us are doing it to get by, often without even realising it.
Ok, so what is code-switching, and why do we do it?
In short, it's when we adjust and adapt our behaviour, appearance or language to fit into a predominantly Western or Anglo world.
The issue is gaining traction on social media, with many people sharing their own experiences.
Growing up in Australia, Stephanie was often reminded of her differences.
"It was normal to walk down the street and have people ask me: 'Where are you from? Like, where are you really from?'" says Stephanie, who is now in her mid-twenties.
When her parents packed her school lunch, kids would say it "smelt weird". She'd ask her parents to pack sandwiches or sausage rolls instead.
Code-switching happens more often than we probably realise — and is influenced by our desire to fit in.
"Belonging is an essential and fundamental human need … on par with the need for love," says Sharon Orapeleng, a consultant on mental health policy and cross-cultural issues.
She describes code-switching as a "survival tool", especially when it comes to leadership aspirations in the workplace.
At her first job as a lawyer in a global firm, Stephanie remembers being left out of conversations about Christmas because her colleagues didn't think Chinese people celebrated it.
At this point, she experienced something like an identity crisis.
"When I visited China, I wasn't Chinese enough and in Australia, I wasn't Australian enough," Stephanie says.
Stephanie also noticed how the Western or Anglo leadership style often favoured outgoing, self-assured personalities.
However, this was at odds with her cultural values.
"These are all the things that don't come naturally to me, especially when we're taught to have humility, not to criticise others, to cater for the needs of others before your own," she says.
"It's made me feel the need to work harder in order to prove my value."
When we are singled out for our differences, Ms Orapeleng says, it reinforces the narrative: "You are not like us; you don't belong here".
Is code-switching deliberate or accidental?
It can be both.
Often nurtured in our families, communities and schools as a direct result of colonialism, Ms Orapeleng says it can become ingrained in our everyday thoughts and actions.
For Stephanie, the unspoken message from her parents was always to hide her "Asian-ness" to avoid racism.
"We're sort of conditioned by our parents to code-switch out of the need to feel safe in the community," she says.
What are the long-term impacts of code-switching?
Well, it can take a significant psychological toll, which can also affect our performance at work.
Ms Orapeleng says the constant barrage of code-switching behaviours impacts our mental health.
It starts with knowing and feeling different, and then being reminded of that difference in spaces where no one looks like us.
We often go out of our way "to negate stereotypes of our community", Ms Orapeleng says, leading to burnout or quitting our jobs altogether.
"Othering" in the workplace can also cause psychosocial harm.
"Workplaces need to recognise this, and create culturally safe spaces," Ms Orapeleng says.
The recent DCA report backs this up, with many women saying they were over-scrutinised, underestimated, overlooked and singled out.
How does workplace diversity impact code-switching?
Put simply, the more diverse the workplace is, the more inclusive it feels, Ms Orapeleng says.
Workplaces have a legal responsibility to ensure a safe environment for employees and there is a perceived sense of safety in numbers, she adds.
"Seeing self-representation becomes the norm and individuals become more free to be who they are," she says.
For Stephanie, now that she's part of a more diverse and inclusive team in a different company, she engages in code-switching to a lesser extent.
"Having those shared experiences of disadvantage and marginalisation, there are less assumptions being made when you communicate with each other," she says.
"The conversations come really from a place of genuine curiosity rather than an intention to single you out or to divide."
A call for diversity – all the way up the ladder
DCA's Racism at Work guidelines recommend developing racial literacy at the workplace, including racial and gender diversity in leadership.
While gender discrimination has slowly improved in recent years, DCA researcher Ameena Bourham says "racial discrimination definitely hasn't" — and more work needs to be done to support diverse women.
Eleanor Lau is a member of the Asian Leadership project, which champions and supports diverse Asian talent into leadership roles.
She says having diverse leaders is important because "it sends a message to the rest of the team, the organisation. and the world. that you are truly embracing cultural diversity".
She says organisations benefit from having a multicultural workforce.
"We have different views, and we think differently. It's just like having people with different personalities — you can't have all extroverts at the table," says Ms Lau, who is of Hong Kong descent.
Moving forward, how can we overcome code-switching?
Founder of the African Woman Association, Juliana Nkrumah, says it starts with self-awareness and acceptance.
Truly embracing your own race, culture or religion is the first step.
"My name, my look and all that goes with it are my identity and I find strength in it," says Ms Nkrumah, who is of Akan background.
She sometimes sprinkles Akan proverbs and phrases in between conversations in English to showcase the beauty of her first language.
And, for Ms Lau, growing up multicultural is about "having the best of both worlds".
"The moment you don't think it's a strength, that's when it's actually dangerous," she says.
Next comes the value in allyship — and this is where workplaces can play their part.
Allyship can take the form of mentoring (providing guidance) or sponsorship (openly backing someone's abilities).
Being an effective ally can be as simple as calling out a colleague's strengths or highlighting the value of their lived experience, Ms Bourham adds.
Ms Nkrumah also warns mentors of falling into the trap of "pet to threat" based on her own experience.
Mentees are described as "pets" in the early stages, valued for their enthusiasm and compliance.
However, that often changes once mentees develop their own working style.
"When I decided to question and reveal my level of passion, and how I wanted the direction to be changed, I became a threat," Ms Nkrumah says.
Ms Nkrumah wants us to feel empowered to create opportunities for ourselves.
"Demand a place at the table, especially if you have impactful contributions and show that people who embrace you and your ideas only have a lot to gain," she says.
Above all, she says, mental health comes first.
"Don't stay in toxic environments — your job is one of the things that you can do but you are not your job."
* Name has been changed for privacy reasons.
