We know the biggest isn't always the best but what about the most popular? Celine Dion has probably sold more records than Kate Bush so surely Celine is better? Well, it's subjective.
And on the subject of subjectivity, a drinking buddy and I headed to Leeds' most popular (we think) beer garden. The beer garden in question is that of The Original Oak, in Otley Road, Headingley.
Whenever the sun is out or there's a big football match on TV this beer garden is full. And it is a big beer garden. I didn't measure it when we visited at 3pm on Wednesday but let's say you could have a couple of hundred people there and still have space for a round of mini-golf.
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It is, for an urban beer garden anyway, the biggest I've been in. But it's not always about size otherwise we'd all drive about in lorries.
To describe, it's roughly square-shaped and it has rows and rows of picnic tables some of which sit on a sizeable area of artificial grass. When you have hundreds of people traipsing across it daily, it couldn't be anything else.
There's a shipping container, painted black with Guinness livery which I imagine is an outdoor bar. There's another outdoor bar adjoining the pub itself and a large covered area, for barbecues I'm told.
There's a large screen showing sports at one end and some beefy looking speakers. The vicar at St Michael's across the road, I imagine, could be rendered inaudible to his congregation on a Sunday if a particularly thrilling piece of sport is being broadcast.
I mention St Michael's because its impressive spire can be seen from the garden. I am probably the only person ever to set foot in The Original Oak and mention the spire but well, I'm an old fart who likes birdwatching and wears a flatcap without irony.
And this is where I come back to subjectivity and taste. My drinking buddy is somewhat younger and he enthuses about the place. I, however, feel less comfortable. Admittedly it's a quiet afternoon but the other people sat at the picnic tables can't be older than 21.
It's in the heart of Student Land and it is a very studenty pub. I'm informed it also attracts a sports crowd when the screen is broadcasting important people kicking a ball. I imagine the atmosphere is almost exhilarating when Leeds or England are winning – there's an arcade boxing machine to hit if they're not – or when uni exams have just finished.
But here's that subjectivity thing again. Aged 19, I'd have been happy to knock back pint after pint in somewhere like The Original Oak. At 21, I was utterly fed up of uni and I despised students in general. The gown always gets a hard time from the town but nowadays I'd rather be in the company of 100 merry and mildy irritating students than one volatile, antisocial yob who thinks he's Tyson Fury because he's had six pints of Carling. Ultimately, I'd rather be in the company of nobody but that's another story.
But for me I was never going back to places like The Original Oak, not that's there's anything wrong with it... OK, there were a couple of things. Some of the furniture, the "barbecue" area especially, looked rundown and the chip (yes, singular – I'd already had lunch) tasted like something you'd buy from the freezer at Spar. Nevertheless, it was one chip and my drinking buddy was well into his falafel wrap and chips. There we go again... different strokes.
Beer wise, both my mate and I had the craft beer revolution to thank. Twenty years ago, in big places with large sports screens we'd have been stuck with lousy lager and boring brown bitter. Not now, we had a decent selection of craft brews and we both enjoyed a glass of Chieftain IPA. On that at least, we agreed.
So is Leeds' most popular beer garden the "best"? Well, it certainly wasn't the worst; there was nothing obviously bad about it, or the pub as a whole. It does the job for the people it's aimed at and that's a broad-ish clientele.
But sitting in a beer garden, which I'm guessing caters to the 18 to 30 crowd, isn't my cup of tea or more aptly, pint of Porter. I'm sure people who dig The Original Oak would find the kind of place where this sceptical, 42-year-old dad drinks duller than a day in a garden centre.
Anyway, must dash. The garden centre closes in an hour.
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