Wasps, the two-time champions of Europe, face changing in cow sheds if they take up their place at the foot of English rugby’s pyramid.
They will play at clubs where opponents share the same dressing room and take on teams whose post-match regime is less about ice baths than downing yards of ale.
This is the fate awaiting one of the sport’s most famous names, one which won the Premiership six times and was coached by Ian McGeechan, Warren Gatland and Shaun Edwards. Star players included Lawrence Dallaglio, Joe Worsley, Josh Lewsey and Matt Dawson yet Wasps went bust in October with debts totalling £95 million.
Last Thursday they had the conditional offer of a Championship place withdrawn after failing to hit a deadline set by the Rugby Football Union to meet commitments required to restart in the second tier.
They are now faced with dropping to the 10th and bottom tier of English rugby, which means joining Counties 4 Midlands West in either the north or south divisions.
“Shock, in a word, that was our reaction,” said Simon Gavin, fixture secretary of Stone rugby club, newly crowned champions of Midlands West (north).
“Wasps have won the European Cup twice and level 10 is very, very basic, the lowest level of rugby.
“Take our club for example. We share with the hockey club, there’s one changing room where everyone gets changed. Teams shower together, there’s no parking and it’s a cash-only bar because we haven’t got a card machine.
“It’s the sunday league football version of rugby,” Gavin added. “You’re still drinking a yard of ale, or half a yard. There’s man of the match and Dick of the Day, who has to wear a hat with a large penis on it.
“That’s what Wasps will be coming into and it will shock the bejesus out of them.”
What about crowds? "Exactly, what about crowds! I think we had a highest attendance of about 20. There’s no facilities for crowds.
“One of the places we played at, Erdington, they’ve got two shipping containers. You get changed in one and the other has half a bar in it. Down here is grass roots and I mean proper grass roots.”
Stone won all 20 of their matches and are sorry they will now miss out on playing Wasps in the event the former London, High Wycombe and Coventry-based outfit consider it worth reforming in the game’s basement.
Gavin continued: “If Wasps do come to level 10 they’ll either come to West North or West South, which has a couple of clubs in the middle of Shropshire who get changed cowsheds.
“At our level there’s no funds for travel. It’s 20 lads in six or seven cars hoping no-one has a bump on the way, turning up for a game then having a drink and a singsong in the bar afterwards. It's proper old school."
