Ali Martin's match report
Time to sign off – I’ll leave you with Ali Martin’s report from Bridgetown. Thanks for joining me; we’ll be back on Thursday for the third and final Test of the series. Bye!
Here’s the England interim head coach, Paul Collingwood: “I think the attitude from the boys was absolutely fantastic ... I think everyone was expecting a draw, but we wanted to go out and win that game. We were hoping 60-odd overs would give us a sniff ... playing on these pitches is hard work, but if we keep showing that resilience and skill, we’ll get close to that win.”
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“The remarkable sight of England’s gully fielders on their knees, seemingly praying for the next wicket, is the image that will remain etched on my memory of this rather unmemorable Test match,” writes Colum Fordham.
“However, one lesson learned is that England need to experiment with Matt Parkinson. Leach is good but doesn’t get enough overspin to threaten the batsmen. Credit to Brathwaite, though. What a hero for the West Indies!”
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Here’s the Windies captain and player of the match, Kraigg Brathwaite. “We want a result in the last Test, hopefully going our way! England put up 500 and bowled really well, so for us to put up 400 and save the match was a great effort from us.”
Brathwaite faced more balls in one Test than any West Indies player before. “It’s amazing to hear – it was great to have my family here today to see it; I’m very happy and thankful.”
“It was really pleasing to see us make a substantial first-innings total, for the first time in a long time,” says Joe Root, who also praises Dan Lawrence. “He’s been wonderful ... what I’ve noticed is how selfless he is. His first hundred won’t be long if he keeps playing like that.”
“These wickets haven’t been the best for seam bowlers, but they’ve showed great skill and dedication,” Root says of debutants Matt Fisher and Saqib Mahmood. On the declaration, he says “it’s a tricky one ... you don’t want to give them too many overs – and would 10 more have made a difference to us? Maybe not.”
Will Matt Parkinson get a call-up for Grenada? “We’ll have to see what kind of wicket we’ll get ... Jack [Leach] is bowling with great control, he’s finding his feet and looking comfortable at this level.”
The second Test is drawn
That’s it – the second Test in Barbados, like the first in Antigua, has petered out to end in a draw.
After the dog days that came before, this final day at least offered intrigue, with England making early in roads and threatening to force a dramatic victory after what felt like a late declaration.
Joe Root’s side always seemed to be a wicket away from really threatening, and the one they really needed never came, the immovable Kraigg Brathwaite hitting 56 off 184 balls to get the job done.
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65th over: West Indies 135-5 (Brathwaite 56, Da Silva 30) Root for the final allocated over, although play can go on for another 15 minutes. Whether it should is another question. Da Silva runs through his repertoire of extravagant defensive shots. Six maidens in a row, and here comes the handshake ...
64th over (one left): West Indies 135-5 (Brathwaite 56, Da Silva 30) The light meter is out, and Jack Leach is bowling his 95th over of the match. And what’s this? A big appeal, Leach convinced that Brathwaite edged through to Woakes. England review and the Windies captain breaks into a grin – and well he might, it didn’t trouble his bat.
63rd over (two left): West Indies 135-5 (Brathwaite 56, Da Silva 30) Root with the ball now – there’s no light for the seamers – and he almost shifts Da Silva with a ball that drifts across. He wafts awkwardly at it but it drops harmlessly to the floor.
62nd over (three left): West Indies 135-5 (Brathwaite 56, Da Silva 30) Leach would still love to dislodge Brathwaite for a second time, and his first ball pings off the track, up to shoulder height. After that, it’s fuller and flatter, and no trouble for the batter.
61st over (four left): West Indies 135-5 (Brathwaite 56, Da Silva 30) An uneventful maiden from Lawrence, and with the light fading over Bridgetown I’ll stick my neck out and call this a draw.
60th over (five left): West Indies 135-5 (Brathwaite 56, Da Silva 30) Root continues to crowd Brathwaite, who frankly looks like he could do this all week. A quick couple and plenty more steely defence. The Windies batters take an impromptu drinks break, and the Barmy Army break into song one more time.
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59th over (six left): West Indies 133-5 (Brathwaite 54, Da Silva 30) Da Silva picks another poor ball from Lawrence – his willingness to attack has helped his team breathe at crucial moments. He passes Blackwood’s total in 45 balls – Blackwood took 84 balls to reach 27.
If I were Josh da Silva, @niallmcveigh, I wouldn't want to be facing Saqib Mahmood.
— Robert (@yaxleymellis) March 20, 2022
Benaud's Second Law: do what the opposition least want you to do, Joe.#WIvsENG
I was thinking the same – even if it’s a roll of the dice, surely it’s worth a go when one wicket could make the difference. It already feels too late now, though, with the light fading fast.
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58th over (seven left): West Indies 127-5 (Brathwaite 53, Da Silva 25) Leach is still threatening on occasion, an awkward ball popping up onto to Brathwaite’s bat handle but dropping into no man’s land. Yeah, maiden.
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57th over (eight left): West Indies 127-5 (Brathwaite 53, Da Silva 25) Lawrence continues – it looks like England are spinning all the way. He’s not causing the disruption he was at the start. Da Silva is all over his last ball, dragged down and sent through midwicket for four.
56th over (nine left): West Indies 122-5 (Brathwaite 53, Da Silva 20) Barcelona are 4-0 up at the Bernabéu, but never mind that – there’s a Test to be won. Leach gets a look at Da Silva, who defends stoutly enough before nudging a single.
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55th over (10 left): West Indies 122-5 (Brathwaite 53, Da Silva 20) Play can go on until 6pm (10pm GMT), so we may see more than the 10 allotted overs. Or fewer, if the light fades. Brathwaite plays off the back foot for three, and then tucks Lawrence away for another four. That’s his half century, racked up in 157 balls.
54th over (11 left): West Indies 113-5 (Brathwaite 46, Da Silva 18) With the end almost in sight, Brathwaite has to remember the short tail waiting nervously in the pavilion – he swipes at a full Leach ball which whistles between bat and pad, missing off stump by millimetres. A slice of hard-earned luck for the Windies captain.
53rd over (12 left): West Indies 113-5 (Brathwaite 46, Da Silva 18) Some consternation from England’s fielders at Josh Da Silva wearing a helmet, but only against Stokes. The batter heaves a short ball to the boundary, and has raced to 18 off 27 balls, attack being the best form of defence and all that.
52nd over (13 left): West Indies 109-5 (Brathwaite 46, Da Silva 14) Leach with a peach that gets Brathwaite moving forward and just beats the edge! The Windies captain still can’t afford to blink on a single ball. Maiden, and the floodlights are flickering into life ...
51st over (14 left): West Indies 109-5 (Brathwaite 46, Da Silva 14) Root calls on Ben Stokes at the resumption, and he offers textbook, muscular stuff, trying to draw pace and movement by sheer force of will. No such luck, Brathwaite picking up a single – and another over seen off.
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50th over: West Indies 108-5 (Brathwaite 45, Da Silva 14) Root continues and Da Silva slashes another boundary, beyond the reach of sub fielder Matt Parkinson. Drinks, and 15 overs left to play.
49th over: West Indies 102-5 (Brathwaite 45, Da Silva 8) Leach v Braithwaite, a battle as old as time, plays out another maiden. Overs beginning to run out for England ...
48th over: West Indies 102-5 (Brathwaite 45, Da Silva 8) Root has a go at ruffling Da Silva, but a short one is pulled beyond Bairstow and all the way to four. The new batter adds another boundary, and the hosts are into triple figures.
47th over: West Indies 94-5 (Brathwaite 45, Da Silva 0) Leach and Brathwaite renew acquaintances – they must feel they know each other on a telepathic level by now. It’s a maiden! Eighteen overs left ...
46th over: West Indies 94-5 (Brathwaite 45, Da Silva 0) A single from Brathwaite, with Ben Stokes excited to get Da Silva on strike. “It’s a Derek Pringle!” Da Silva shakes it off and stands up well to another over of trickery from triple-threat Dan Lawrence.
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“Gully was my usual fielding position in the long ago,” says John Starbuck. “It really put the batters off because it ratcheted up the pressure and they got pretty nervous. Many was the catch I took from people having a slash (as they sometimes said).” Pure poetry, John.
45th over: West Indies 93-5 (Brathwaite 44, Da Silva 0) A wicket-maiden for Leach, with a helmetless Josh Da Silva next to the crease. Twenty overs remaining – light permitting – five wickets to take. Is it now a case of get Brathwaite, win the Test?
WICKET! Holder c Lawrence b Leach 0 (West Indies 93-5)
Oh, hello – an unremarkable ball from Leach prompts a strange choice of shot from Holder, and Dan Lawrence snaffles an exceptional diving catch at short cover! A 24-ball duck for Jason Holder, and game very much on.
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44th over: West Indies 93-4 (Brathwaite 44, Holder 0) A couple of testers from Lawrence for Holder, still on zero from 21 deliveries. Root has a chat with Bairstow and reintroduces the double-gully for Leach’s next over.
43rd over: West Indies 92-4 (Brathwaite 44, Holder 0) Brathwaite defends another six Leach deliveries, taking his total for the match past 250, threatening a new record for a batsman from one bowler in a Test. The Windies are looking comfortable again – time for Stokes?
42nd over: West Indies 92-4 (Brathwaite 44, Holder 0) Lawrence continues, keeping both batsmen on their toes for the loss of one leg bye. Holder swings and edges into his pad, perhaps forgetting what the assignment is here.
41st over: West Indies 91-4 (Brathwaite 44, Holder 0) Two kneeling gullies for Leach. Two gullies, Joe? Two? That’s insane. A maiden, Holder in full defensive mode.
40th over: West Indies 91-4 (Brathwaite 44, Holder 0) Slip, leg slip and two short legs in place for Lawrence, who gets another big lbw shout against Brathwaite. It was turning sharply into the pads but heading over the wicket. The hosts aren’t exactly rocking, but certainly a little wobblier than they were an hour ago.
39th over: West Indies 89-4 (Brathwaite 42, Holder 0) An uncomfortable over for new man Jason Holder, who ventures into Jack Leach’s Gully but lives to tell the tale, a kneeling Bairstow unable to reel it in.
38th over: West Indies 89-4 (Brathwaite 42, Holder 0) Jason Holder sees off Leach’s final ball, and now it’s time for Dan Lawrence to keep the pressure on, four fielders crouched around Brathwaite. The batsman gets squared up after misreading the length, but otherwise keeps doing what he does.
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WICKET! Blackwood c Bairstow b Leach 27 (West Indies 89-4)
Just as I was trying to work out how many futile overs Leach had left, he strikes to remove Jermaine Blackwood, and breathe life back into England’s pursuit of victory! Perfect length, jags sharply and edged to Jonny Bairstow, kneeling at gully. Jack Leach’s Gully claims another victim ...
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36th over: West Indies 86-3 (Brathwaite 39, Blackwood 27) Leach returns from the Joel Garner end, from where he has struggled to find any turn at all ...
36th over: West Indies 86-3 (Brathwaite 39, Blackwood 27) Lawrence loses his length and a T20 briefly breaks out, Blackwood punishing two poor balls with boundaries. But then a big appeal as Lawrence catches the edge of Blackwood’s pad – both the umpire and Root are unmoved, and with good cause.
35th over: West Indies 78-3 (Brathwaite 39, Blackwood 19) Mahmood with an overstep, then a rejig in the field – with Jonny Bairstow vocally explaining to the bowler where he should aim. Blackwood is unmoved, and the Windies pick up a whopping six off that over.
An email from Kevin Farrelly, titled “Jack Leach’s Gully” – which sounds like a great lost American folk song.
“Leach is turning it away from the right handers and, as a regular watcher at the the CACG, I’ve seen him get plenty of wickets caught in the gully. The leg slip question, though, is harder to answer ...”
34th over: West Indies 71-3 (Brathwaite 38, Blackwood 14) Flickers of fallibility from both batsmen since tea, and Lawrence has Brathwaite backed up, an inside edge squeaking to safety.
33rd over: West Indies 70-3 (Brathwaite 37, Blackwood 14) Kraigg Brathwaite has now faced more balls in one Test match than any other West Indies player in history – 583, edging past Brian Lara’s 582 against England in 2004. Mahmood persists against Blackwood, hoping for a lapse in concentration, and gets a play and a miss for his efforts.
32nd over: West Indies 69-3 (Brathwaite 36, Blackwood 14) In the break, Carlos Brathwaite admitted that those Dan Lawrence off-breaks make him uneasy – and he almost does for namesake Kraigg, beating the lifted bat and hitting Brathwaite’s thigh. It looked to be turning way beyond leg-stump, and there’s no review. Brathwaite then runs for three, perhaps to wake himself up a bit.
31st over: West Indies 66-3 (Brathwaite 33, Blackwood 14) Mahmood, England’s danger man in the afternoon, will start off the evening session. The pitch is not offering him quite so much any more, a downbeat over punctuated by a single Brathwaite run. There are 34 overs left for England to find seven wickets.
As some of you may have noticed, this is the same scenario as the first Test in Antigua; West Indies are 65-3, and England need seven wickets to win.
This is what it's all about eh @niallmcveigh? Final day, turning pitch, rearguard batting and a bowling attack trying to unlock things for victory. I wish I was there.
— Guy Hornsby (@GuyHornsby) March 20, 2022
Can someone help me out why there's a leg slip/gully with Leach bowling? For the life of me I don't get it.
There’s been some interesting choices in the field – as far as I can tell, the addition of a gully is a Somerset thing, Root trying to recreate the Taunton dustbowl here in Barbados.
Tea: West Indies 65-3, trail by 217 runs
A promising start for England in pursuit of the implausible, with Saqib Mahmood striking twice – but the Windies’ go-to duo of Kraigg Brathwaite and Jermaine Blackwood have steadied the ship. The draw remains firmly on the cards but it’s not quite over yet; more soon.
30th over: West Indies 65-3 (Brathwaite 32, Blackwood 14) Time for Dan Lawrence, who dislodged Jermaine Blackwood in the first innings, to try and do so again before tea. Oof, his final ball stays very low, and almost traps Blackwood in front. That would have been something.
29th over: West Indies 63-3 (Brathwaite 32, Blackwood 12) A silly mid-off joins the cluster of fielders at Blackwood’s feet, but Leach drifts onto his pads and is put away for three runs. Blackwood into double figures, Brathwaite going absolutely nowhere as tea looms.
28th over: West Indies 60-3 (Brathwaite 32, Blackwood 9) Blackwood nudges Stokes through midwicket, taking him to a Gaylesque nine from 49.
27th over: West Indies 59-3 (Brathwaite 32, Blackwood 8) Leach and Brathwaite add another uneventful chapter to their week-long saga. Maiden, and a maximum of 38 overs remaining.
26th over: West Indies 59-3 (Brathwaite 32, Blackwood 8) Stokes draws a flinch of the shoulders from Brathwaite with a short one that cuts in sharply off the seam.
Stokes then has to stop his run-up, distracted by a pitchside DJ in a bright yellow shirt. Stokes offers up a thousand-yard stare, and the man behind the wheels of steel ducks out of sight. The bowler turns his gaze to Blackwood, and his final ball kicks off the surface, but the batsman is unmoved.
25th over: West Indies 58-3 (Brathwaite 31, Blackwood 8) Leach looks the more likely, again finding big turn that has Blackwood on the back foot, before the batsmen cuts away for a couple – ending a run of 14 dot balls.
24th over: West Indies 56-3 (Brathwaite 31, Blackwood 6) Stokes keeps thundering along, but Brathwaite is starting to look rooted in the crease. Maiden, and we’re now closer to tea than to the last wicket.
Are you all watching Forest v Liverpool? For shame.
23rd over: West Indies 56-3 (Brathwaite 31, Blackwood 6) Leach wasn’t having much luck at the Malcolm Marshall end, so now he gets a go from the Joel Garner end. There’s an immediate improvement, the first two deliveries jagging off the surface, the last beating Blackwood’s bat. Blackwood does pinch a couple from a looser ball, taking his total to six off 38 balls.
22nd over: West Indies 54-3 (Brathwaite 31, Blackwood 4) Tea will be at 3.25pm (7.25pm GMT), and England surely need another wicket by then. Stokes keeps working his line, Brathwaite fending him off with a dismissive straight bat. Another maiden.
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21st over: West Indies 54-3 (Brathwaite 31, Blackwood 4) Root continues, finding turn and bounce that forces Blackwood back. There’s a middling lbw shout, plenty of “love that, Rooty” from Ben Foakes, and one run from the over.
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20th over: West Indies 53-3 (Brathwaite 30, Blackwood 4) Ben Stokes comes in – perhaps Leach will resume where Root left off at the other end. An overstep for a no-ball, an unwelcome sight for any fidgety patrons looking forward to the tea break. A short ball is jabbed away by Blackwood, short of Lees at short leg.
19th over: West Indies 51-3 (Brathwaite 29, Blackwood 4) Root’s having a bowl! And there’s a big, if not huge, appeal for lbw on Blackwood. It looked to be high and wide, and there’s no review. Maiden, but that’s not important right now.
18th over: West Indies 51-3 (Brathwaite 29, Blackwood 4) Jack Leach fails to find much inspiration, with one drifting delivery put away by Blackwood. He runs three, which feels like showboating at this point.
17th over: West Indies 48-3 (Brathwaite 29, Blackwood 0) Mahmood continues to menace the Windies batsmen with his variations, before Brathwaite clips him airily for four to end the over. A quarter-chance of a catch, but he’s still finding movement.
16th over: West Indies 43-3 (Brathwaite 25, Blackwood 0) The first of 50 overs that the Windies have to see out, and Brathwaite does so, repelling Leach with little fuss and nurdling a couple of runs, perhaps just to stretch his legs.
15th over: West Indies 41-3 (Brathwaite 23, Blackwood 0) Nervy from Blackwood, prodding at a loose, scooting effort that was wide enough to leave alone. Mahmood again summons some fizz from the surface, a snorter that Brathwaite flicks a few feet short of the slips. A maiden for Mahmood, and drinks.
14th over: West Indies 41-3 (Brathwaite 23, Blackwood 0) Brathwaite, surrounded by a gaggle of fielders chatting purposefully, jogs a couple off a wider Leach ball. Ship-steadying in progress out there.
13th over: West Indies 39-3 (Brathwaite 21, Blackwood 0) Vice-captain Jermaine Blackwood joins his skipper at the crease and sees out the over – a wicket-maiden for Mahmood. If England can dislodge one of this pair soon, this could really be on ...
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WICKET! Bonner c Root b Mahmood 3 (West Indies 39-3)
Another for Mahmood, and the pressure cranks up on the Windies another notch. This time, a bouncing ball squares up Bonner good and proper, and it’s shouldered through to Root, with no need for Crawley to get involved this time.
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12th over: West Indies 39-2 (Brathwaite 21, Bonner 3) Brathwaite clubs a wide one from Leach straight back down the wicket, whistling past the ears of both bowler and umpire. That one goes for four, before sub Craig Overton saves another with an agile piece of fielding.
“I was about to email and ask why England still had Crawley in the slips, and say that it would cost them one day soon,” writes Adam Hirst.” Well it didn’t, luckily, but he’s still there, despite not seeming to catch anything ever. Is it like junior school football, where you put the biggest lad at centre-back because he’s least trouble there?”
Nonsense. They don’t just stick the big lad at centre-back, that’s where I used to play ... ah.
11th over: West Indies 33-2 (Brathwaite 15, Bonner 3) Mahmood has Bonner worried with a ball that skids up off the seam, but is then picked for three runs through the covers.
10th over: West Indies 29-2 (Brathwaite 14, Bonner 0) Like Campbell before him, Shamarh Brooks never looked remotely comfortable. The eternal Kraigg Brathwaite is now joined by Nkrumah Bonner. A worrying moment for England as Ben Stokes stays down after fielding a Brathwaite drive – but he’s back on his feet. The Windies captain then sends Leach away past mid-on for four.
WICKET! Brooks c Root b Mahmood 4 (West Indies 23-2)
What did I tell you? A shortish ball from Mahmood is edged apologetically into the slips, where Zak Crawley can only juggle it into the air – but Joe Root is on hand to collect his 150th Test catch. Well!
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9th over: West Indies 23-1 (Brathwaite 8, Brooks 4) Saqib Mahmood gets the nod from Root, and serves up a wild full toss, flicked away for a couple. Just finding his range, I’m sure ...
8th over: West Indies 20-1 (Brathwaite 5, Brooks 4) Thanks, Tanya. Here comes Leach to Brooks, who edges one through the slips for a fortunate boundary. Brooks is nudging at the air next ball as Leach finds some turn, but sees out the rest of the over.
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7th over: West Indies 16-1 (Brathwaite 5, Brooks 0) Woakes appeals for an lbw going leg-side and England, wisely, don’t review. And that’s it from me, Niall will take you through to a thrilling England victory at stumps as well as fielding all the choke emails. Have a lovely evening!
WICKET! Campbell c Lees b Leach 10 (West Indies 14-1)
6th over: West Indies 14-1 (Brathwaite 4) He does and he breaks through as Campbell presses forward and the ball brushes his glove on the way to Lees at short leg. Much English delight. Given not out on the field it was overturned on review by the third umpire.
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5th over: West Indies 14-0 (Brathwaite 4, Campbell 10) Campbell is so nearly tempted by one that moves away by Woakes; and again, swaying his bat out of the way. A tap off the legs brings three from the last ball and it looks as if Leach might get a go with the new ball.
4th over: West Indies 9-0 (Brathwaite 5, Campbell 4) Ian Bishop admires Fisher’s seam position - one for Fisher’s scrap book. He’s also energetic and hard working. Would it be ridiculously bold to suggest he might have leapt over Overton on the strength of this Test match? Four from the over.
3rd over: West Indies 5-0 (Brathwaite 1, Campbell 4) Woakes pleasingly on target, Campbell eyes up a full ones, flashes and edges for four, over the hills and past a diving gully.
2nd over: West Indies 1-0 (Brathwaite 1, Campbell 0) A smart over by Fisher, Brathwaite flashing boldly at one in a way that will please the bowler.
“Thankfully CG Greenidge is only watching.” muses Jon Akers, “1984, 214no.” With a limp.
Afternoon session West Indies need 282 to win
1st over: West Indies 1-0 (Brathwaite 1, Campbell 0) Woakes takes the new ball, and the first leaps, and billows off the shoulder of Brathwaite’s bat and squeaks to the left of short leg.
“One rum punch as requested Tanya.” Oh thank you Craig Keeley! “Do you have a long straw?” To match the devil’s long spoon.
I feel I should bring the choke chatter to a close for risk of flooding the OBO gearbox. But two more arrived while I put the kettle on:
“I managed to resist joining in this conversation until now,” writes Tom Hopkins, “but Kim Thonger may have a fight on his hands.
“Anyone heard of the now-rather-maligned diesel engine? NO CHOKE! to go with the other advantages of simplicity it always had over petrol engines. No carburettor, no tappets (remember feeler-gauges, home mechanics?), so much less temperamental and easier to keep going.
“Bit like having a reliable opener or two…”
And Nat Godden:
“Loving the choke chat, and Dominic O’Reilly’s story reminds me of the (possibly apocryphal, certainly prejudice enhancing) tale of the old lady who though it was a hook for her handbag so kept it fully extended at all times.
My first car had a choke and I absolutely knew how far from home I could push it right in to use the minimum amount of petrol. A lost skill akin to getting the volume and tone just right to make JetPac load properly on the Spectrum 48K.”
England have declared: West Indies need 282 in 65 overs
Piece of cake for the Windies T20 team but these are red-ball specialists in the limpet sense of the word on a pitch that ain’t doing nothing to speed things along.
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Rain stops play - LUNCH. England lead by 281 runs
39.5 overs: England 185-6 ( Foakes 11, Woakes 9) England lead by 281 Eight overs since the last boundary and many complaints from those who want to check what is happening in City v Southampton and the Grand Prix. Ah, hang on - here come the covers again as the rain starts to fall. They’ll take lunch and I’ll haul my numb body off the sofa. Back shortly.
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39th over: England 181-6 ( Foakes 9, Woakes 7) England lead by 277 Seales continues to bowl wide, and, well, nothing much happens.
“We couldn’t work out why the car kept running out of petrol,” taps Dominic O’Reilly. “ Finally, a wise mechanic asked my Dad to take him through his usual car starting routine. Turns out he would pull the choke out to the max, drive round with it like that and then push it back in when returning home.”
37th over: England 176-6 ( Foakes 7, Woakes 4) England lead by 272 England mill fitfully on the boundary, waiting for Woakes and Foakes to get ‘em in singles.
“Afternoon Tanya.” Kim Thonger, hello.
“I have an entirely different recollection to that of your other correspondents. In every car I drove or owned pre 1982 the choke was a non functional object of blame, serving merely to be chastised for causing lateness for school/work/date/choir/cricket etc. In some vehicles the battery was an alternative scapegoat. Until acquiring a wife who had a knack for internal combustion engines I never had a car with a reliable battery AND a functioning choke. They simply did not exist and I will fight anyone who claims they did. The moral is in my view if you want a mechanical device to work, let a female be in charge.”
I like the way this conversation is going.
37th over: England 170-6 ( Foakes 4, Woakes 1) England lead by 266 Lawrence turns down the single - declaration imminent? - only to hole out to one legged pat-a-cake. Woakes joins Foakes for a few singles and... England bat on.
WICKET! Lawrence c Joseph b Seales 41 (England 167-6)
A back-foot dog-leg shot to long on.
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36th over: England 167-5 (Lawrence 41, Foakes 2) England lead by 263 It’s the two Essex boys, with Chris Woakes left watching on the balcony. Just five off Holder’s over, as Root watches from the balcony wearing some kind of back corset.
“Hi Tanya. Maybe everyone knows this already...but perhaps useful to share: I’ve just discovered that (in France, at least) the test match is live streamed for free on Youtube by Windies Cricket”
Thank you so much Michael Anderson!
35th over: England 162-5 (Lawrence 38, Foakes 0) England lead by 258 Sharp comeback from Seales, whose loosener was greeted by the flashing blade of Lawrence, and smashed straight for six. He followed up with a toe-crusher next ball, and then the wicket. Great cameo from Bairstow.
“Hello from damp Rhode Island, where the time-zone difference from Barbados works in my favour.”
Good afternoon Tat Wood.
“When Tim Saunders asked, I thought of ‘skeuomorphism’ but that’s mainly for design-features (the ‘save’ symbol being a floppy disc, for example) and went looking for the verbal equivalent. Apparently, there isn’t one. There was an attempt to make ‘idiomatisation’ do the job but that was like trying to make ‘fetch’ happen.
“Next time it rains, maybe we can all try to invent a catchy word for it and spread it.
“Re. older cars, I remember when the Morris Minor and others had a thing called a ‘Trafficator’, in lieu of indicators - it was a little ‘arm’ with reflectors that came out of the side of the car to show which way you were turning. It was spring-loaded and pulled back with magnets.”
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WICKET! Bairstow c Roach b Seales 29 (England 161-5)
Another super catch in the deep as Bairstow bellows the ball down to long off.
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34th over: England 152-4 (Lawrence 29, Bairstow 28) England lead by 248 The England brains trust (Root, Trescothick, Collingwood) is mulling over the numbers. Much chin scratching and whispering behind hands. Holder makes the most of the red-ball rules and sends a couple of balls wide of leg stump which Bairstow can’t muscle on to.
33rd over: England 148-4 (Lawrence 28, Bairstow 25) Bairstow is rocking now, all ginger bristle, - two consecutive sixes , one over deep square, the other a yorker boomed back over Joseph’s head , followed by a one-handed skiff for a single. The lead heads towards 250.
32nd over: England 133-4 (Lawrence 27, Bairstow 11) Time for some of Jason Holder’s nice and neat running stitch. Lawrence opens the face and plays an ugly but useful four.
31st over: England 126-4 (Lawrence 22, Bairstow 9) Bairstow, barrel-chested, pivots his club and... inside edges Joseph inches from his stumps and down for four.
“I am also of a certain age as the French might say,” writes Adrian Goldman, “and remember the choke as well. But I think it increased the amount of air flowing in, not fuel. Google would know but I am assuming an undergraduate degree in chemistry might lead to the right answer.
“And while on the subject of cars: I have an electric one - and yes, you can jump it because it has a low voltage dc battery to power lights and the like. If that’s flat, your car is sol.
“That’s my considered non expert opinion.”
30th over: England 118-4 (Lawrence 20, Bairstow 3) Roach thunders in a couple of yorkers, but Lawrence shimmies to drive the third through extra cover for a couple. Another boundary-lite over though.
“I am old enough to remember starting handles,” copperplates Simon. “Many years ago, a friend of my father reversed into a snow drift and blocked the exhaust with ice and stalled the engine. Being quick thinking he thought ‘I know, the starting handle will clear that’, so getting out the starting handle he inserted it into the exhaust pipe and gave it a few quick turns. Turning round he saw our boys in blue, they asked him what he was doing. ‘ Just trying to start my car’, he replied. They breathalysed him.”
29th over: England 114-4 (Lawrence 17, Bairstow 2) England can’t wriggle to Joseph to the boundary, so are content with a scattering of singles.
Hello Matthew Dunnill!
“I love to while away the hours with the OBO – but wow you guys make me feel poor sometimes! And now old as well!
“I’m not even 40 and have had 2 cars with chokes – only recently did I get one with any sort of electrics – never mind an ACTUAL ELECTRIC CAR!
“Wow it’s grim up north.
“ Anyway – I can’t believe we haven’t got a nice rhyme about how we hope Stokes, Woakes and Foakes don’t choke yet…”
There’s still time Matthew, still time.
28th over: England 110-4 (Lawrence 15, Bairstow 0) England continuing to throw the bat and continuing to lose wickets - the lead is 206 though so another fifty will be enough to set the match up. We’re due another hour before lunch because of the rain.
WICKET! Stokes c Brathwaite b Roach 19 (England 110-4)
Stokes guns for an extremely wide ball from Roach and pings it straight to Brathwaite at cover, who gathers low down on his haunches.
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Play resumes
27th over: England 107-3 ( Lawrence 13, Stokes 18) One from the final ball of Roach’s unfinished over.
Play to restart at 15.45 GMT
We have our word! Two correspondents at exactly the same time:
“It’s possible,” writes Greg John. “ that Tim Sanders is thinking of skeuomorphism which, according to interaction-design.org, is a term most often used in graphical user interface design to describe interface objects that mimic their real-world counterparts in how they appear and/or how the user can interact with them. A well-known example is the recycle bin icon used for discarding files”
On a different note, I feel duly upbraided by those cricket fans telling me that if I don’t like incredibly boring, eventless, and predicable Test matches I’m not a real fan. I bet Robert Wilson et al will be gutted if England declare soon and then attempt to bowl out the Windies in nailbiting fashion.”
On the OBO, everyone is invited. Moving quickly onwards...
Tim Sanders himself, “Hello again Tanya ! I’ve remembered !! t’s ‘skeuomorphic’ which I think is a great word. Visually, it’s a decorative feature retained from the nature of the original material or method; but no longer functional. Like imitation stitching on a plastic sofa cover. Language has its own equivalent thing, and I reckon we’ll be ‘warming up engines’ and getting our metaphorical motors running long after we’ve fixed the climate crisis.”
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Paul Lakin also remembers the choke era: “I’m not even remotely mechanically minded but probably count as an older reader. Wasn’t the choke a way of letting more petrol into the engine – leading to the timeless mantra “Give it more choke, go on give it a bit more choke, more choke....oh now you’ve flooded it”. Amazing that cars ever caught on really...”
On a similar theme, can you jump start an electric car? My childhood was full of people borrowing/using jump leads.
In Barbados, a man in a long yellow macintosh is pushing a roller around the ground and the covers are being peeled off.
“A choke,” writes Ian Mills knowledgeably, “was a cable from the dashboard to the carburettor, pulling on the cable richened the mixture being fed into the engine to make it start from cold. Modern cars use fuel injection instead of carburettors.”
Ali reports that it is bright outside in Barbados but the covers are still on.
“Hello Tanya.” Tim Sanders, hello.
“In response to John Starbuck, I think petrol engine metaphors are likely to outlive the technology. It’s for the same reason that people with no knowledge of cricket might talk of ‘a safe pair of hands’ who will meet a deadline ‘before close of play’ possibly even in spite of ‘a sticky wicket’. Or young people who have never put paper in a filing cabinet know what it is to click on a ‘folder’ icon. The phrases have a life of their own, independent of their origins. There’s a cultural term for this sort of thing which escapes me. I’ll get back to you when I remember it, unless anyone else can help ?”
“Good afternoon, Tanya.” Hello Phil Sawyer.
“Your older reader may remember the days of not only having to warm up the engine but also having to pull the choke out just to start the thing in the first place. The choke, of course, ...erm.... actually, not being mechanically minded I’ve no idea what the choke actually did. Neither, as far as I could tell, did Pa Sawyer. From sustained observation, its only function in life was to have no effect on the engine whatsoever while causing him to choke with ensuing rage.”
I tried to find a picture of a choke in the Guardian’s picture library but it is only offering me something quite unsavoury from Las Vegas. So here is a nostalgic youtube video of how to use the choke on Triumph Spitfire.
It is still raining by the way.
Rain stops play: England 106-3, lead by 202
26.5 overs: England 106-3 ( Lawrence 12, Stokes 18) Whoopy-doop, Lawrence oils the shoulders and swings a huge six over midwicket before the rain starts again.
26th over: England 99-3 ( Lawrence 6, Stokes 17) Roach is the unfortunate recipient as Stokes decides to throw the bat: FOUR (over extra cover) and SIX (a pick-up and flick over midwicket). A no ball , a wide, and a fistful of quick singles don’t improve Roach’s mood.
25th over: England 80-3 ( Lawrence 3, Stokes 3) Joseph whips some extra something out of the pitch and beats Lawrence’s bat. Lawrence also survives a final-ball bottom-edge which somehow bagatelles past his stumps.
“I’m very proud to see the kickback against all the sledging about how boring this Test is to watch,” taps Robert Wilson with a happy smile. “ You can’t spend your time making fun of T20 and the Hundred and then throw a wobbly because things go a bit Chris Tavaré for a day or two. This is the biscuit. The wheat revels in it, the chaff are all swiping right on their smartphones in a froth of existential dread. People who like this are people who like cricket.
“Told you soing is neither clever nor charming but Jeez did I call it on Brathwaite a couple of days ago (‘Recalcitrance is where he lives’). Wish I’d put the mortgage on the predictable git.”
24th over: England 78-3 ( Lawrence 2, Stokes 2) Roach aims wide but neither Lawrence and Stokes can get full bat on ball.
They’re back out there and Roach has the ball in his hand.
While we wait, here’s some intriguing colour from Ali in Barbados:
On day four the Barbados tourist board staged an exhibition of Road Tennis at lunch on a stage to the left of the media centre. Played on the ground - tarmac, asphalt or concrete - and using a 21 x 10ft court with an 8in ‘net’ made of wood, it originated in the 1930s when locals from the working class communities watched lawn tennis being enjoyed by the island’s elite. They then procured some balls, began playing with their hands and a new code of the sport was spawned.
Necessity is the mother of invention and soon these pioneers realised that by stripping the yellow felt from the tennis balls - leaving just the bouncy rubber inner - and using wooden paddles, they had a fast-paced game that was cheap and fun. The rules are similar to table tennis, with either singles or doubles and the aim to reach 21 points, with service alternating every five.
These days there is a Barbados Road Tennis Association and a national tournament every year to coincide with the independence day celebrations on 30 November. The ministry of sport estimates there are over 1,000 players on the island, be it those who take it seriously or simply as a hobby, and there is growing ambition to one day see it feature in the Olympics.
Road Tennis requires a strong core and fast reflexes, with players stooping throughout its rapid rallies. This demonstration was being staged at the Malcolm Marshall End of the ground and it is said that the legendary former fast bowler himself was a keen player back in the day, using it to keep up his fitness and hand-eye skills during the off-season.
The traditional Barbadian sport of Road Tennis taking place during the (road) cricket lunch interval pic.twitter.com/rIiiKh33i8
— Ali Martin (@Cricket_Ali) March 19, 2022
Brathwaite suggests England set 225; Finn laughs in his face: 260.
The umpires are out, taking a peek.
Rain stops play: England 76-3 are 172 runs ahead
23.2 overs: England 76-3 ( Lawrence 1, Stokes 1) Brathwaite switches his bowlers about as Roach is thrown the ball, but he only gets a couple of deliveries before the rain starts to fall and the covers are run on by groundsman in colourful rain gear.
“Your metaphor about too much accelerator before the engine perks up makes me wonder how long such language will last’” writes John Starbuck.
“ As a driver of an EV for several years now I can foresee a time when explanations are going to be needed, when the engine doesn’t have to be warmed up at all - it is there and ready always. Like using Cockney rhyming slang; the original references having long faded, I expect that, like playing cricket by the changing Laws across the decades, we shall just have to adapt.”
I did wonder that as I wrote it, even in relation to petrol cars. They don’t seem to sit and have to warm up and be coaxed into action like they used to.
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23rd over: England 76-3 ( Lawrence 1, Stokes 1) Joseph takes over from Holder and strikes with his third ball, his second pinged through the covers for a glorious four by Crawley. England have now lost three wickets in the first half hour of the day.
WICKET! Crawley c Seales b Joseph 40 (England 74-3)
Fab-u-lous catch by Seales, sprinting forwards and holding onto the catch by his boot laces as he thudded onto the turf, as Crawley launches into a pull.
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22nd over: England 70-2 ( Crawley 36, Lawrence 1) The ball after Root polka-ed gaily down the pitch to whack Permaul back over his head for four, he is done by some overspin. England certainly going for quick runs here.
WICKET! Root c Campbell b Permaul 9 (England 67-2)
Another slog-sweep, an ungainly hack which loops to Campbell at midwicket.
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21st over: England 63-1 ( Crawley 33, Root 5) A miserly over by Holder until Crawley gets hold of the last ball and miscues a pull, top-edging one over the boundary.
The ground staff, Ali reports, are poised by the covers.
20th over: England 58-1 ( Crawley 29, Root 4) Three fairly pedestrian singles off Permaul.
New horizons for Chris Silverwood it seems, as the Sri Lankan men’s team comes a-knocking.
SLC in final stage negotiations with Chris Silverwood to take over as Head Coach. Silverwood has a reputation for producing results with young teams having won Essex their first county championship in 25 years. He was recently sacked as England Head Coach after the Ashes. pic.twitter.com/oHkKjFvzYD
— Rex Clementine (@RexClementine) March 20, 2022
19th over: England 55-1 ( Crawley 28, Root 2) Holder manages to extract some extra bounce which will catch Joe Root’s eye, one ball squeaking off the top of Crawley’s bat as he defends.
Martyn Lester writes: “You quote Mark Butcher as saying that “The pitch is scared, it is broken up, it is worn away…”
“What – it’s soiling itself? Quaking in its roots?
Or was the word Butch actually uttered perhaps ’scarred’?”
You’ve got me. But a scared pitch might make for a more fruity final day.
18th over: England 53-1 ( Crawley 25, Root 2) Root is off the mark straight away with a squeeze towards third man. That wasn’t a shot Lees will remember too fondly, putting his foot on the accelerator before the engine was perky.
WICKET! Lees c Joseph b Permaul 24 (England 51-1)
A slog sweep that falls flat.
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17th over: England 50-0 (Lees 24, Crawley 25) West Indies hold onto a slip and a gully, while handing the ball to Jason Holder, who appears at the stumps like a sudden sandstorm over the horizon. Holder bowls wide and Lees waits, leans, and sends the ball spinning through cover point for four. A couple more and that’s the fifty partnership from 101 balls - a fine starting stat to slip in the jacket pocket and riches indeed compared to a few months ago.
“I completely understand why people are finding this match boring,” writes Robert Ellson, “and the worries about the detrimental effects poor pitches have on the future of the game are completely valid. It’s not a “good advert for Test cricket”, as the saying goes.
But does everything have to be an advert? Taking it on its own terms, there’s been a lot to admire. Brathwaite’s concentration was fantastic. Leach’s perseverance similarly so. Stokes rising above the conditions on the second day was absolutely spectacular: a really great innings. It’s certainly been a test of endurance for spectators, but part of Test cricket’s infinite variety is that it’s a test of endurance. I watched almost every ball yesterday, got up to make a cup of tea and missed Mahmood’s first test wicket. I lost concentration just as Jason Holder did. If you struggled as a spectator (or an OBO reporter!) yesterday it gives you an ersatz experience of what the challenge is for the players.
Would you want all Test matches to be like this? No. But nor would I want them all to be Iike the one in Chennai(?) last winter where it was such a dustbowl that Root took 5-6 and England were immediately 0-2 after three balls of spin in their innings (with the third being an overturned DRS decision!) But there’s room in Test cricket’s infinite variety for both kinds of game, and everything in between.”
Wise words indeed.
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Morning session
16th over: England 43-0 (Lees 18, Crawley 24) Permaul twists the ball from left hand to right and wheels in. A couple on the money then Crawley kneads one through the leg-side for a confidence-boosting three.
A message arrives all the way from lovely Barbados. Over to you Craig Keeley - you lucky, lucky man!
“Morning everyone
I know it’s become standard to whinge about the pitch/captain/play during this Test but this is day five of my first ever overseas match (after 30 years of saying ‘We’re definitely going to the next one’) and I’ve pretty much been thrilled for every second of it.
“It’s Test cricket. Therefore it’s fab. As Descartes once said.
Also, I’m sporting the same T-shirt/pants combo I was wearing at Headingly in 2019 so remain very very confident a miracle is about to happen.”
We heard it here first! Thanks Craig, enjoy every moment please have a rum punch for me.
A reminder of Parkinson’s ball of the century from last April. Just because.
Ball of the century? 😳 @mattyparky96 #LVCountyChamp live: https://t.co/SyebMiubg3 pic.twitter.com/Wf93spCqz3
— LV= Insurance County Championship (@CountyChamp) April 16, 2021
This, I think, is a call for Matt Parkinson, who spent 2020-21 carrying the drinks for England and is at risk of doing it again in the Caribbean.
England picked a spinner who spent 70 overs bowling like he had Hoggard, Flintoff, Jones and Harmison at the other end @tjaldred. They must pick an attacking option for the next Test.
— Gary Naylor (@garynaylor999) March 20, 2022
The pitch could have been much more sporting, and this Test would still be a draw.
There have been a few showers in Barbados but, peering over David Gower’s head, all seems back on track with the groundsman happily rolling the pitch again.
Covers are on ☔️ 😡 pic.twitter.com/sQhlCeTZaY
— Huw Turbervill (@huwzat) March 20, 2022
So, what will Joe Root do? Put on his red-ball reset gambling gloves? Play it safe in hope of pushing for a result next week in Grenada - though rumours predict another batter’s dream of a pitch.
Discuss.
Carlos Brathwaite says he’d “bowl wide to make England come after the ball, but play it safe.”
Steven Finn’s view: “ I think England’s plan is going to be to press on, push the game forward, they’ve got 25 overs to get as many runs as they can if they want to give themselves a chance of bowling West Indies today.”
So.
Mark Butcher is down at the pitch with his metaphorical car keys:
“The pitch is scarred, it is broken up, it is worn away, however we still haven’t see the ball spinning sharply on a regular basis. Also, bowling from the Malcolm Marshall end there are a couple of bare patches.”
We glance at run-chases down the year at Bridgetown - there have only ever been two successful chases over 200. So England, be bold!
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If you missed the overnight drama from Eden Park, here is Raf report of how England managed to limp to victory from the jaws of defeat.
Preamble
Hello and - ahem, wake up the at the back - welcome to the final day of the second Test between West Indies and England
It’s been... attritional. Kraigg Brathwaite’s 710-minute innings of grunt and grind put him only behind Brian Lara’s two record-breaking triple-quadruple hundreds in terms of balls at the crease; and there was precious little in it for England as they tasted the rare juices of the third new ball.
But if the last two days have been akin to constantly being presented with a cup of tepid, mid-brown, medium-strength tea, here we have the chance of something a little more sparky. If Crawley and Lees (and the rest) can find some pizazz to stretch England’s current lead of 136 to something more intimidating, and the pitch crumbles, and West Indies wobble - well, anything could happen. In the last Test West Indies were set 286 in 71 overs, and finished 147-4 - read whatever runes you like from that.
See you here at 1:30pm GMT; play starts half an hour later.
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