Bad to verse
The story of the day is yet another defeat for Everton, and it’s got Billy Ditchburn bursting into song.
“Oh Frankie Boy, the couch, the couch is calling.
And punditry, I fear, is your next stop
For as a coach, your record’s been appalling
And Everton
Are destined for the drop.
“On the subject of ex-players who are good coaches,” Billy continues, “as a Boro fan, I’m enjoying what Michael Carrick has brought us, up from 21st to 4th, seven wins in the last eight games (and another tomorrow no doubt, up the road at Sunderland). That’s a lad who’ll leave us and go on to do the business in the Prem. BUT HOPEFULLY NOT THIS SEASON AND NOT WITH EVERTON!!!”
He’s too canny, surely. Anyway, it’s time for me to sign off. Thanks for your company and some excellent correspondence, and many commiserations to Mary Waltz. If you have a minute, do settle down with Jacob Steinberg’s match report on West Ham’s triumph.
“It’s all very well,” says Stephen Carr, “sacking Lampard, but who sacks the board? Big Dunc???” I suspect he’d be up for it. Farhad Moshiri was at the London Stadium today, watching Everton live for the first time in 15 months, apparently.
Ramifications for the table
Let’s take it from the bottom. Southampton are 20th with 15 points, in such a bad way that they are even below Everton, albeit on goal difference. Bournemouth are 18th, level on 17 points with Wolves (who have one game in hand on the bottom three) and Leeds (who have two). West Ham, transformed by Jarrod Bowen’s twin celebrations, have roared up to 15th, level on 18 points (and 20 games played) with Leicester. Forest are still 13th with 21 points, three above Leicester and two below Palace, who play Newcastle in a minute.
Brighton, the grandees among the eight teams we’ve been clocking this afternoon, are sixth, ahead of Fulham on goal difference, and two points up on Liverpool, Brentford and Chelsea. All of that lot are among seven clubs separated by only five points, from Spurs on 33 down to Villa on 28.
Meanwhile the bottom seven, from Leicester to Southampton, are separated by just three points. It is, in short, a mad world.
Updated
Meanwhile, at Selhurst Park
Rob Smyth has the preamble and the teamsheets for you.
FULL TIME! Southampton 0-1 Villa
So Villa get their win, their third in a row on the road, through Ollie Watkins’ header. And poor old Southampton, after a good spell in all comps, slide further into the mire.
Southampton 0-1 Villa
The Saints are closing in, but they’ve got one obstacle in their way: Emi Martinez, who is reeling off the saves. I shudder to think how he will celebrate.
“As far as sacking goes,” says Yash Gupta, “Italian football is a whole different universe and even after all these years, I’d give everything I own just to see Tim Sherwood manage a Serie A club.”
A polite enquiry from Gary Byrne. “Is there any chance,” he wonders, “Lampard could stay in charge at least until the Derby. Liverpool really need the win.”
FULL TIME! Bournemouth 1-1 Forest
Forest’s little winning run comes to an end, but that’s a decent result for them. And not bad for Bournemouth either.
FULL TIME! West Ham 2-0 Everton
The six points go to … David Moyes! Frank Lampard is shaking his players’ hands, and it could be goodbye.
FULL TIME! Leicester 2-2 Brighton
James Madison wins a last-ditch free kick and takes it himself, but hits the wall. Still, that’s a good point for Leicester.
“It can’t be nice,” Charlie Robinson, “having to come out for the second half of a match knowing that you’ve been shown the door marked ‘do one’. Just ask Carlo Ancelotti, whose sacking was announced by Juventus at half-time of their game against Atalanta in 2001. Bless.” And I believe they were still in contention for the title at the time.
GOAL! Leicester 2-2 Brighton (Ferguson 88)
Another equaliser! It’s a header from Evan Ferguson, who now has three goals and two assists in his last four appearances. Aged 18!
Updated
GOAL! Southampton 0-1 Villa (Watkins 77)
Southampton go from short-lived ecstasy to agony. Ollie Watkins plants a simple header in the net.
Updated
GOAL! Bournemouth 1-1 Forest (Surridge 84)
An equaliser for Forest! From Sam Surridge, against his old club.
Updated
“Martin Jol was sacked at Spurs at half time,” says John Tumbridge. “And the whole ground knew in the second half. When he was still on the bench.”
“Was chatting with Mary Waltz earlier,” says Jeremy Boyce, “via Scott’s MBM.” Small world! “I’m kind of slightly DISAGREEING with Mary this time. For the record, I’m a Leeds fan, we were talking about dropping out of the Premier League and where that can lead. The ‘new manager but no new signings’ principle worked for Leeds last season. Top striker gone (Bamford was knacked), Phillips and Raphina at least 50% in the stretch limo to new accommodation, but they stayed up. All is not lost Mary, just in a bit of a maze of their own making, there is a way out.”
Updated
“I’ve come home to Liverpool from Australia,” says Steph Lysaght, “to see family/mates. But I’ve realized that I’ve actually gone back in time to the 1990s. There’s a bitter on special in the pub at £1 a pint, Liverpool are very ordinary and Everton are going down.”
Disallowed goal! Southampton 0-0 Villa
James Ward-Prowse, who scores every week at the moment, seems to have done it again, but the ref is sent to the monitor by the VAR, and we know how that usually ends. Between them they decide that there was a foul by Mohamed Elyounoussi.
“Lampard would do well,” says Yash Gupta, “at Football Daily. That way we’ll have our Fiver back.” Oof.
West Ham 2-0 Everton
A third goal would surely finish off Everton, and Emerson thinks he’s scored it – but Jordan Pickford shovels his shot onto the bar.
“Lampard’s next job,” muses Kári Tulinius. “Surely, with both out of work, it would make sense for some club to hire Lampard and Gerrard, they could balance each other’s strengths and weaknesses.” Magnificent.
GOAL!! Leicester 2-1 Brighton (Barnes 63)
Luke Thomas, who nearly gave away a pen just now, redeems himself by getting a flick-on from a corner which turns into an assist for Harvey Barnes.
Updated
“Since we all agree that Lampard’s time at Everton is finished,” says Bogdan Kotarlic, “what is next for him: West Ham? A club abroad? Maybe some England younger national team, like U21?” If you were a West Ham fan, he surely wouldn’t be top of your list, even if he did pull off a great escape last season. A club in the Championship, I’d say, as he did so well there with Derby.
Updated
News from Scotland at half-time. “It took United the full 45 minutes to break down a well organised Stirling University side,” says Simon McMahon, “Aziz Behich opening the scoring on the stroke of half-time. I now fully expect United to push on and record a solid 2-0 victory. Shock potential at Stenhousemuir though, who lead Livingston 1-0.” A further update: Livingston have turned it round already, with two goals in four minutes.
We break off from the football to bring you this
2 days ago I randomly bumped into the doctor who in 2017 told me “the good news is the problem you have in your hip can be fixed but you won’t be able to play professional sport again.” I think we dispelled that myth the last 5 days.😉Goodnight ❤️
— Andy Murray (@andy_murray) January 21, 2023
“In the future,” says Ian Stuart, “managers will be sacked at half-time.”
Leicester 1-1 Brighton
Danny Welbeck thinks he’s won a penalty as Luke Thomas sticks a leg out, but neither the ref nor the VAR is persuaded. Roberto De Zerbi protests too much and goes into the book.
Frank Lampard, who has to do something, makes two changes at half-time. Off go both wing-backs, Seamus Coleman and Vitaliy Mykolenko, and on come Tom Davies and Dwight McNeil, so it looks like a switch to a back four.
“I’ve got the Everton Blues,” says Mary Waltz. “The Muddy Waters version.” Her team look scared and skittish, she adds. “And whoever replaces Lampard will be facing Arsenal and then Liverpool. Sigh.”
As it stands
West Ham have leapt to 16th, just above Leeds, who have games in hand on everyone. West Ham are now level on points (18) with Leicester, who are 15th. Bournemouth have rocketed to 14th, with 19 points. Everton are rock-bottom on 15, with Southampton (16) and Wolves (17) keeping them company in the relegation zone. Forest remain 13th despite being a goal down at Bournemouth. Brighton, who had a heady glimpse of fifth, have slipped back to sixth, below Spurs.
HALF-TIME! Southampton 0-0 Villa
The game did resume at St Mary’s, but you wouldn’t know it from the scoreboard. Villa have been the better team, apparently. “Drone stops play at Southampton,” says Ben Mimmack. “St Mary’s crowd happy to see a lengthy period where the home team don’t look like conceding.”
HALF-TIME! Bournemouth 1-0 Forest
A priceless lead for Bournemouth as their new recruit, Dango Ouattara, lays on a goal for Jaidon Anthony. “They’ve been like Brazil at times,” says Chris Sutton. I’ll have what he’s having.
Updated
HALF-TIME! West Ham 2-0 Everton
It’s the big one and it could hardly be going better for David Moyes, or worse for Frank Lampard. Two goals for Jarrod Bowen, and Everton go off to the sound of booing from their travelling fans.
Updated
HALF-TIME! Leicester 1-1 Brighton
A screamer from Kaoru Mitoma was cancelled out, against the run of play, by Marc Albrighton, who seized on a rebound after a shot by Harvey Barnes.
Drone stops play! Southampton 0-0 Villa
A drone has appeared at St Mary’s and the players have been sent down the tunnel by the ref. In cricket, they’d be taking an early half-time.
GOAL!!! West Ham 2-0 Everton (Bowen 42)
Updated
It had been all Brighton … until it was Albrighton. If this pun gives you pain, please address any complaints to Sky Sports.
GOAL! Leicester 1-1 Brighton (Albrighton 36)
Marc Albrighton comes on as a sub for Dennis Praet and immediately scores … or does he? Harvey Barnes may have been offside in the build-up. No – it’s given!
Updated
GOAL!! West Ham 1-0 Everton (Bowen 33)
Jarrod Bowen scores! After a flick from Kurt Zouma. There’s a VAR check and it’s tight but the goal stands. First blood to Moyes.
Updated
West Ham 0-0 Everton
29' Strong hand from Pickford to deny Benrahma's strike from 20 yards.
— Everton (@Everton) January 21, 2023
0-0
“All the bottom four teams are looking sprightly,” says Tony Rutt on Twitter. “Perhaps they were forced to watch Andy Murray’s performance of grit and determination this week.” We all need to be more Andy, don’t we?
GOAL! Bournemouth 1-0 Forest (Anthony 27)
Bournemouth haven’t been scoring goals … they have now! A crisp shot from Jaidon Anthony, set up by an exciting run from the new signing Dango Ouattara.
Updated
GOAL! Leicester 0-1 Brighton (Mitoma 27)
An absolute stunner, apparently.
Updated
Southampton 0-0 Villa
Still, the disallowed goals are raining in. Che Adams of Southampton gets the ball in the net with a scruffy shot, but it turns out that he’s offside, and so is his teammate Kyle Walker-Peters.
All four games reach the quarter-way mark with no goals. It’s Liverpool-Chelsea all over again!
“Mary Waltz, Lampard,” says Jeff Sachs, elliptically. “Absolutely, Lampard should have been sacked ages ago... And Moyes as well.”
Still no goals in the Premier League. Most of the running this afternoon is being made by Stevenage, who have raced into a 2-0 lead over the usually parsimonious Orient. Also starting well: Preston, 2-0 up at Birmingham in the match that is making Championship history because the ref is a woman, Rebecca Welsh.
Updated
Disallowed goal! Bournemouth 0-0 Forest Ryan Yates of Forest gets the ball in the net with a diving header from a free kick, but it’s been ruled out for offside against his team-mate Willy Boly. “And it’s the correct decision,” says Chris Sutton on Sky. I seem to remember Boly doing the same thing when Forest lost 3-0 at Old Trafford just after Christmas.
Updated
And another!
A match report for you
“After a rough post-Potter start,” says Zach Neeley, “Brighton are still above Chelsea, and with a home win over Leicester today, they’ll have more points since he left than he’s gotten at Chelsea. And Potter won his first three league games, while Brighton won none of their first three without him. I don’t think I’ve ever seen an ongoing revenge like the Seagulls have gotten during and since that 4-1 pasting.”
Updated
“Starting Zouma,” says Chris in Corfu. “‘Is Moyes looking for a dead cat bounce?” Haha.
All four games have kicked off. And not a goal between them yet.
I’d been wondering when we would hear from our Everton correspondent. And here she is! “Lampard will get the sack, if not tomorrow then soon,” says Mary Waltz. “But unless there is a major transfer addition I don’t see my Everton side avoiding relegation with a different manager. Losing Richarlison wasn’t just a loss of goal scoring, it was a loss of fight, of never giving up.”
At the London Stadium tributes are being paid to David Gold, West Ham’s joint-chairman, who died this month aged 86. Mark Noble is on the pitch with members of the Gold family, and warm applause is ringing out.
Updated
So Liverpool reach the halfway stage of the league season with 28 points dropped. After finishing the right side of 90 in three of the last four seasons, Liverpool can’t manage more than 86 this time. Mind you, Chelsea have dropped 31 points, and played a game more, so the most they can get is 83.
Different cast, same result
Liverpool and Chelsea have now drawn their last 5 games in normal time:
— Statman Dave (@StatmanDave) January 21, 2023
🤝 1-1 (Premier League)
🤝 2-2 (Premier League)
🤝 0-0 (EFL Cup)
🤝 0-0 (FA Cup)
🤝 0-0 (Premier League)
All square. 🟥🟦 pic.twitter.com/7t3qMx5SIq
Never mind Dundee, we’ve got mail from Indianapolis. “I know this isn’t a new or original opinion,” says Joe Pearson, “but why don’t Everton and West Ham just switch managers and be done with it? I’m tired of reading about Lampard and Moyes waiting anxiously for the chop.” Ha. I wonder which club would get the better of that deal.
An email! From our Scottish correspondent, Simon McMahon. “Afternoon Tim, hope you’re well.” Not bad, thanks. “Scottish Cup 4th round up here today, and I’m at Tannadice to see two-time Cup winners Dundee United start this season’s quest for Scottish Cup glory against Stirling University. Like Andy Murray, United don’t do comfortable wins, so I’m expecting a tight, competitive affair against the Lowland league side. Celtic beat Morton 5-0 in the early kick-off, and other ties worth keeping an eye on include Arbroath v Motherwell, Hamilton v Ross County and the teatime kick-off in Perth where St. Johnstone host Rangers.” The Lowland league side! An early bid for elegant variation of the day.
Team news in brief
For Everton Frank Lampard largely sticks with a losing team, making just one change – Yerry Mina for Ben Godfrey. West Ham’s David Moyes goes for more of a shake-up, bringing in Kurt Zouma, Emerson and Said Benrahma and switching to what looks like a back three, which means no room for Tomas Soucek.
Leicester have good news from the physio’s room as Kiernan Dewsbury-Hall returns to the starting XI and James Maddison is fit enough to make the bench. Brendan Rodgers also recalls Dennis Praet, while Danny Welbeck returns to lead the line for Brighton, who give a full debut to the Dutch centre-back Jan Paul van Hecke.
For Villa, Alex Moreno gets his first start at left-back. For Southampton, Mohamed Elyounoussi drops to the bench as Adam Armstrong comes in.
Interesting line-ups at the Vitality Stadium as Bournemouth make a flurry of changes and field their new signing, Dango Ouattara. He is, as you know, a forward from Burkina Faso. Steve Cooper of Forest says “I see your new striker, and I raise you mine”, giving a first start to Chris Wood, on loan from Newcastle. Wayne Hennessey replaces Dean Henderson in goal, and Willy Boly comes in for Scott McKenna.
Updated
Newsflash
Liverpool and Chelsea have just done something they have never done before in the Premier League, and drawn 0-0 at Anfield. More here from Scott Murray
Updated
Teams: Southampton v Villa
🎶 Oh when the Saints 🎶
— Southampton FC (@SouthamptonFC) January 21, 2023
Your #SaintsFC side taking on #AVFC: pic.twitter.com/2ZsDSKQCNI
Introducing: Your Aston Villa team to face Southampton. 👊#SOUAVL pic.twitter.com/GaFAtie26k
— Aston Villa (@AVFCOfficial) January 21, 2023
Teams: Leicester v Brighton
Our XI to take on the Seagulls 📝 🔵#LEIBHA
— Leicester City (@LCFC) January 21, 2023
TEAM NEWS! 🚨 Here's our starting XI to take on @LCFC today. 📝
— Brighton & Hove Albion (@OfficialBHAFC) January 21, 2023
📲 https://t.co/S3j1TIeLz3 // #BHAFC ❤️🔥 pic.twitter.com/CH5fu2C0gV
Teams: West Ham v Everton
Your Hammers to face the Toffees ⚒️#WHUEVE pic.twitter.com/SY2gyjg1DN
— West Ham United (@WestHam) January 21, 2023
Today's Toffees! 📋#WHUEVE pic.twitter.com/0BHpAg3gIo
— Everton (@Everton) January 21, 2023
Teams: Bournemouth v Forest
📝 𝗧𝗘𝗔𝗠 𝗡𝗘𝗪𝗦 📝
— AFC Bournemouth 🍒 (@afcbournemouth) January 21, 2023
🔺 Ouattara straight in
🔺 Stephens starts
🔺 Rothwell also involved
Our line up for #BOUNFO 💪💪 pic.twitter.com/rI539JVsqW
Your #NFFC starting XI for today's clash against @afcbournemouth! 👊 pic.twitter.com/dUUrolI2fU
— Nottingham Forest FC (@NFFC) January 21, 2023
Updated
Preamble
Hello and welcome to the big one. No, not Arsenal v Man United – no manager’s fate hinges on that one, whereas two heads are on the block at the London Stadium this afternoon. West Ham v Everton has it all: a relegation six-pointer involving two famous clubs, both fallen on hard times, both led by well-known characters, each a part of his opponents’ history.
West Ham are managed by David Moyes, who did so decently at Everton that he stayed there for 11 years. Everton are managed by Frank Lampard, who began his illustrious playing career (as Frank Lampard Jr.) with a seven-year stint at West Ham. Now both men are embattled: in the sack race, they’re neck and neck, and way ahead of the rest. Just to add spice, Moyes has been mooted for a return to Everton, should Lampard get the chop.
In the form table, which covers the last six games for every club, these two are pinned to the bottom with one point each. Everton have 99 problems and one is that they’ve been particularly poor against their relegation rivals, losing to Southampton last weekend (at home, after taking the lead), and even being battered by Bournemouth just before the World Cup. So, in a match where you might well back both teams to lose, West Ham find themselves the favourites. And they have a savvy new signing – Danny Ings, completing the claret-and-blue set and surely bringing a few goals with him.
The other 3pm kick-offs promise to be almost as tense. We have Bournemouth, who are 17th, entertaining Forest (13th); Leicester (14th) v Brighton (7th); and Southampton (20th) v Villa (11th). The bottom seven clubs are separated by only two points, as if huddled together for warmth, which means that any win is a big deal and two on the trot is huge.
Forest have just managed two, seeing off Southampton and Leicester, and should be able to add a third at Bournemouth. Southampton have won three in a row, albeit in different competitions – against Palace in the FA Cup and Man City in the Carabao as well as that six-pointer at Goodison. They’ll be doing extremely well if they can make it four against Villa, who are on a roll of their own under Unai Emery.
Leicester, back in the doldrums after a rally in November, may be secretly hoping to scrape a draw against Brighton, who have won five of their last six away games in all comps and scored 18 goals in the process. Brighton sold another of their mainstays this week (Leandro Trossard, to Arsenal), reiterating that they are all about the system, not the individual. Even losing Graham Potter seems to have made little difference to them.
It’s all very tasty, in a gritty kind of way. Do join me soon after 2pm for the team sheets.
