Welcome back to FTW’s Beverage of the Week series. Here, we mostly chronicle and review beers, but happily expand that scope to any beverage that pairs well with sports. Yes, even cookie dough whiskey.
I’m a booze guy, not a weed guy. Marijuana, in my limited but assuredly legal experience, doesn’t do much for me. Joints, vape pens, edibles all kinda fall flat against my expectation of being high as a guy and, mercifully, getting the kind of sleep I once did as a teenager.
But I’m open to trying new things. And since cannabis-infused drinks are legal here in Wisconsin (but neither medicinal or recreational weed are, because this is a state that enjoys hemorrhaging money over the border) that meant giving MXXN a try.
MXXN, pronounced “moon” I’m assured, is riding the wave of relaxed marijuana laws and the increasing popularity of the once taboo substance. It’s also taking direct aim at traditional drinkers, making cannabis-infused bottles to mimic tried and true spirits like bourbon, tequila and gin. At roughly $80 per fifth, it’s priced like an upper class booze.
Can it deliver on that promise? I’m not expecting a ton in terms of taste, but I am diving in on the one tenet I badly want from my cannabis. I want this thing to relax me and, ultimately, usher me off to eight proper hours of sleep.
This is a big deal. I suck at sleeping. Fix me, MXXN. Or at least help me buy in to the idea a little herbal supplement can help.
London Dry (gin): B-
I was worried this would cast off a decidedly danky smell upon opening, but no. It smells like light citrus. Half Sprite and half air freshener. Sipped on its own it’s a little harsh and a lot weed-ier than expected. A little sip hits the back of your throat like a puff from a bowl, or given my limited experience in the genre, from a vaporizer or carefully selected vape pen.
Dropping a half ounce into about four times as much tonic creates a tiny gin(ish) and tonic that smells like what I assume LeBron’s mid 2000s-entourage smelled like. A little weed, a little Sprite, a lot of plausible deniability. I’m going with the lightweight serving because that’s precisely what I am. After half an hour I might double back for another half ounce.
It mixes well. The floral qualities of the MXXN fade into the tonic much like the juniper of its inspiration. It goes down smoothly and sweetly, with a tart finish that mutes the “I just ripped a puff” shot to the back of your mouth that accompanies a straight-up sip. It’s easy to drink but also a three ounce cocktail, so … not really a problem even if it weren’t. Now we wait 30 minutes and hope it puts me out.
After 15 minutes I’m feeling pleasantly tired. It’s a Saturday night in October and I’m watching college football and beginning to feel content with falling asleep in a recliner and dealing with whatever neck and back pain will follow. But I’m not quite as tired as I’d like, so I’m gonna opt for a second 0.5 ounces.
The extra dose doesn’t seem to have made a difference. I’m still medium tired and mostly relaxed. I do appreciate it’s created the calm of a beer buzz at a fraction of the calories. Let’s see how it translates to sleep.
Well, it wasn’t as good as I’d hoped. I woke up a few times, feeling tired. I can’t really say whether the first dose improved my sleep at all. Let’s see if I have better luck the second time around.
Kentucky Oak: B-
MXXN’s bourbon variant smells a little like banana cloves and tastes like the same, with a little weedy, bitter finish to remind you this is a cannabis product. I’m mixing it with the company’s Harvest MXXN mixer: apricot, lemon verbena syrup, ginger and lemon. That’s not something I’d normally blend with my bourbon (if I’m mixing it at all, I guess I should have used Coke or ginger beer) but it was convenient and recommended so, here we go.
The ginger and lemon in the mixer overpower the MXXN, so while you still get a little bit of that clove flavor up front it’s quickly swept away by citrus and sour and a little ginger spice. It’s a little much for me — thick and a little too juicy/syrupy — but it’s still enjoyable.
I went with a full ounce serving, which promises four milligrams of THC (again, legal in the state where I am drinking it, please check with your local ordinances, etc). While I took the not-gin MXXN after a couple beers, this round is going down without any alcoholic interference in hopes of spiriting me toward a night where I get, say, six hours of uninterrupted sleep.
My god, can you imagine?
My quality of sleep seems better, but it still isn’t great. After a little while I fall asleep, wake up a couple times in the night and then get shaken out of a dream by my alarm after roughly seven hours. I don’t think it was good enough to ascribe to the THC, though I’m not ruling out the idea that it helped.
Jalisco Agave: C+
Huh.
The MXXN-provided margarita mix is just various citrus juices and simple syrup, which, sounds great to me. The margarita itself tastes like a glass of sour mix, and that’s less fun. The Jalisco Agave fades into the heavy fruit currents and citric acid but emerges every now and then as a hot sauce spike toward the end of a sip. It’s a little weird, but I don’t hate it.
It took a couple hours, but the THC of a one-ounce pour, along with one beer, has left me with a pleasant, relaxed buzz. There’s a little soft, white noise in my brain and I’m tired, but it’s enjoyable.
Would I drink it instead of a Hamm's?
This a pass/fail mechanism where I compare whatever I’m drinking to my baseline cheap beer. That’s the standby from the land of sky-blue waters, Hamm’s. So the question to answer is: on a typical day, would I drink MXXN’s cannabis-infused drinks over a cold can of Hamm’s?
I don’t think this is a MXXN problem. I think it’s a me problem. Cannabis continues to leave me flat, which is a bummer when I meet up with my dirtbag high school friends in Rhode Island each year and they’re each as high as giraffe vertebrae. But the drinks were fine and if you get more satisfaction from weed (or its adjacent, not specifically illegal byproducts) MXXN is worth a shot.
