Owning a little house in the countryside—sounds like a dream, right? Beautiful views, peace and quiet, and a close-knit community where everyone looks out for each other.
That’s exactly what one couple from London had in mind when they bought a holiday home by the sea. Eager to settle in, they went out of their way to meet every neighbor and made as many friends as possible.
But life isn’t quite like a Hallmark movie, and their over-the-top enthusiasm didn’t land well. Now, the locals aren’t sure what to do with this family they can’t stand.
Read on for the full story and expert advice from world-leading etiquette consultant Jo Hayes on the dos and don’ts of getting along with neighbors.
More info: Mumsnet
A couple from London bought a new home and made it their mission to befriend every neighbor
But life isn’t a Hallmark movie, and their over-the-top enthusiasm didn’t land well
Expert advice
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Bored Panda spoke with Jo Hayes, a world-leading etiquette expert, consultant, lifestyle commentator, and founder of EtiquetteExpert.Org, for her perspective on the matter.
“While I appreciate the sincerity and initiative of this couple, it seems they’re coming on a bit too hard, too fast, in their efforts to establish connections and community in this village,” Hayes told us. “When it comes to building relationships, easy does it.”
“Anything that feels overly pushy or forceful puts people off,” she said.
Hayes noted that rural villages like these are often home to residents who have lived there for decades—or, in some cases, their entire lives. These communities typically have long-standing friendships, established customs, and unspoken norms for how things are done.
As a result, they can be cautious—if not outright wary—of newcomers, especially those who arrive with too much enthusiasm.
In this case, the etiquette expert recommends approaching the locals at a reasonable, gradual pace.
Start small. Introduce yourself to just a few neighbors, perhaps two or three, and ask about local events or activities. “But don’t behave in a way that suggests you expect to become best friends with everyone in a week,” Hayes advised.
“Authentic connections and a sense of community take time,” she added. “Once you’ve been part of the area for a while and have naturally established rapport with others, that’s the time to consider hosting a dinner party or gathering with a few locals.”
Remember to maintain healthy boundaries. “Don’t expect neighbors to hand over their mobile numbers immediately,” Hayes said. “If and when you’ve built enough of a connection to swap numbers, don’t abuse that privilege—text or call only sparingly.”
“Don’t do things like this woman did—messaging her neighbor to let them know she’s arrived safely. That kind of behavior implies a level of closeness that isn’t there and feels like an overstep of boundaries.”
A friendly wave while passing on the street is perfectly neighborly. There’s no need to stop and chat every time you cross paths.
“Use common sense, common wisdom, and intuition to gauge the feel of neighbors and the town,” Hayes concluded. “Again, go gently. Gale-force winds destroy things. A gentle breeze is pleasant and makes people feel safe and comfortable. Aim to be the gentle breeze.”
While some readers thought the couple came on too strong, others felt they should have been given a chance
