PEDESTRIAN.TV has teamed up with Lipton Ice Tea so you can take a well-deserved break from work.
Growing up, we were all told that an office job was inevitable. Death, taxes, pizza parties—these are all things we must confront in life.
But an office job isn’t exactly the worst thing in the world. When I started my first office job, I was coming from a long line of hospitality and retail gigs, where if you took your full lunch, you might as well have murdered your entire team. Unquestionably, this will be a huge culture shock for anyone and worth preparing for.
If you’re breaking into your first office job and you’re worried about the unspoken rules, we’ve got you covered with the ultimate survival guide for your first year in the suit.
Stay healthy
It goes without saying, but working a job that requires sitting for eight hours can impact your health without you realising it.
Make sure you get up plenty to walk around the office to stretch your legs and help your back. If you like to snack while working, make sure it’s something healthy like fruit or nuts.
Also try your best to stick to a healthy schedule after work. I’m sure many of us are privy to a little after-work nap or some phone in bed time. Do this enough, however, and the habit could wreck your productivity after work, and that stinks. Try going straight to the gym after work and changing there so you don’t get too tempted by the call to nap right away. Meal prep your dinners so you can avoid treating yourself to Uber Eats.
Full-time office jobs can take a lot out of you mentally in ways you might not expect. Setting up those routines early will go a long way for your health.
Take your breaks
You are legally entitled to take a break, so take it! I don’t want to hear about you taking on extra work for no reason. Sure, you want to make a good impression in a new job, but giving up your breaks to work harder is a slippery slope to burnout.
Avoid gossip
Everyone loves gossip, it’s true. But as any Mean Girls fan could tell you, gossip can easily come back to hurt your relationships with your colleagues. And no one can do their best work in a tense work environment. Unless you’re Fleetwood Mac.
In saying that, it’s good to be aware of the people around you. If you’re just starting out, maybe consider foregoing the headphones for a bit and tuning into the conversations happening around you, even if they’re irrelevant. It might give you some useful tips on how the company operates.
Don’t microwave a fish lunch
Just don’t.
Learn your corporate jargon
I’m going to let you in on a little secret: no one likes corporate jargon. It’s TikTok brain rot, but for LinkedIn CEOs who only hug their children for a photo op. Unfortunately, you’ll need to learn what they mean to survive.
Thankfully, it’s not going to take long until you’ve accumulated countless emails filled with your co-workers dropping phrases like “table a discussion”, “align on the above”, or my personal favourite, “let me loop you in”. Ensure you’re picking up on how your company likes to drop these phrases and in what context they appear. Eventually, you’ll be able to drop these into your conversations easily like Madlibs, and everyone will nod along, impressed.
After a year, this might feel a little soul-destroying, but you won’t have to feel like they’re going to waste for long. If you feel like you’re the poor soul exposed to the most corporate jargon in a day, Lipton Ice Tea wants to get you out. If you can prove that your email is a corporate dystopian hellscape, you could win one of five amazing holidays.
To go in the running, all you have to do is submit (call out) corporate jargon on Lipton Ice Tea’s Jargon Junket website. You can send through recordings and screenshots, so always keep tabs throughout the week.
If you’re curious about what words they’re looking out for, check out the terms and conditions for eligible words Lipton is looking to call out. Here’s a neat little visual below to get you started.
The comp ends at 5pm on December 18 with winners being drawn on December 19, at 10 am AEDT. All your flights, accommodation, and activities will be covered for you and a plus-one, so all you’ll have to worry about is picking dates for annual leave.
T&Cs apply, find out more here.
The 3pm coffee is a trap, sub it out for something else
Anyone that’s worked in a full-time role for long enough has gone through the 3pm slump. Some might say the easiest solution is to take a walk to your nearest cafe and grab a coffee (if they’re still making it) to help you push through the day. I hate to say it, but unless you have military-grade sleeping habits and can conk out no matter what, that 3pm coffee is gonna hurt bad.
Not only will you get a sore tummy ache, which is the last thing you need before a hectic end of day rush, but you’ll also wreck your sleep schedule. Seriously, good luck trying to sleep when you’re battling caffeine rushing through your system and the dread that you have to wake up for work tomorrow.
Take the time to go for a quick walk in the sun. If you need a sweet treat or a drink, consider something with less caffeine (cough like a Peach Lipton Ice Tea cough).
And there you have it, your ultimate guide to surviving the first year of an office job. Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t take to the culture immediately; there’s a reason everyone dunks on office life. But, if you embrace its absurdity, you’ll find ways to make it work for you without surrendering your soul.
Image Credit: iStock / jeffbergen
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