Sitting on a bench near his wife’s grave gives Tony, Ricky Gervais’ character in his hit series After Life, time to ponder life’s meaning.
This week Netflix donated 25 benches, each with QR codes leading to suicide-awareness websites, to mark the show’s third series.
Here we share five poignant stories behind memorial seats bereaved families have already installed across Britain.
'I feel closer to him here'
Cassie Clarke’s husband was fatally run over cycling home from work in June 2020, two days before his 29th birthday.
A memorial bench to Joe, who served in Afghanistan during his decade in the Army, is installed at The Woodland Cemetery in Worsley, Gtr Manchester.
They married in a register office in March 2020 after nearly nine years together, but Joe died only three months later.
The inscription reads: “Joe Clarke. To my husband – Gazing at people, some hand in hand, Just what I’m going through they can’t understand. Cause I love you, yes I love you, oh how I love you – until we dance again, your wife Cassie.
“Our loving son, brother, son-in-law, uncle, nephew, cousin, friend.
“If you never give up, you cannot fail.”
Cassie, 30, says: “The plaque has the lyrics on from mine and Joe’s song Nights in White Satin, by The Moody Blues. It also has the inscription, ‘If you never give up, you cannot fail’ which is something Joe often said.
“I go to Joe’s bench when I’m feeling extra sad to think about him and talk to him. I feel closer to him there.
“Mostly I go there for peace – it’s the only place I feel at peace in this new life.”
'It's near Joe's school so he feels close to his late dad'
Stacey Hodson’s husband Michael died suddenly aged 45 from a brain haemorrhage on Mother’s Day in 2020.
The teaching assistant says: “Last year I decided we needed to mark how amazing my husband was within our family and how much he was respected in his community.”
Stacey, whose son Joe is 12, installed Michael’s bench in a family favourite walking spot in the Foal Hurst Wood nature reserve in Kent.
Its has two inscriptions. The first reads: “Michael Charles Hodson, 1974 - 2020, Husband to Stacey, Father to Joe, Eternally loved x”. The second says: “Only the Phoenix rises and does not descend. And everything changes. And nothing is truly lost.”
The 44-year-old from Paddock Wood in Kent adds: “I wanted something close to Joe’s school so when he wants to feel closer to his dad he has access.
“It is the only thing we have managed to do so mark the life of my husband.
“The plaques have great meaning and are my husband’s favourite quote from his favourite book.”
She said the bench was a comfort after Covid rules ruined the funeral.
'This reminds people of her'
Kelly Turner’s last wish was to find a cure for the rare cancer that stole her life at the age of 17.
Her parents Martin and Linda raised money to send Kelly to the US for surgery and immunology but her tumours were too big and the trip too risky.
In Kelly’s last week of life, in 2017, she asked that the money be redirected to fund research into better treatments for desmoplastic small-round-cell tumours at the Institute of Cancer Research.
Martin and Linda, from Dover in Kent, have donated £600,000 – and vowed not to stop.
Linda, 56, says: “We are never going to give up. We told Kelly we never would and we never will.
"Kelly’s wish was that once she was well she would carry on fundraising to bring immunotherapy or other new treatments to the UK.”
Kelly’s memorial bench, on Dover’s seafront, is a poignant reminder of the brave, fun-loving and selfless girl.
Martin, 66, says: “Linda and I used to push Kelly up and down the seafront and pier.
“We progressed from a pram to a scooter then a skateboard as she got older. We chose to have the bench in the place we thought Kelly would like the most – closest to the ice cream shop.”
Linda and Martin, who have set up a JustGiving fundraising page in Kelly’s name, held a ceremony to bless the bench.
Martin, a retired customs worker, said: “People say, ‘We sat on Kelly’s bench today, and while we were there we gave a JustGiving donation towards her fund’.”
'I sit and ask him questions'
London’s Love Lane is the poignant place Liz Backhouse installed a memorial bench to her husband of 15 years, Spen Backhouse.
The couple, who have a 14-year-old daughter and son 13-year-old son spent a lot of time in the area which is near banker Spen’s office at London Wall.
Now, 15 months after her 48-year-old husband died of a heart attack, sitting on his bench gives Liz space to reflect.
Liz, 47, who’s been says: “As my husband was someone keen to give back, and neither of us were religious, a bench seemed more fitting than other more traditional memorials.
“It’s within a quiet garden, so a nice place to quietly reflect and take some time to remember him. I feel peaceful at the bench and am able to pose questions to Spen in my mind and think about what he’d respond.
“I became a single parent of two teenagers the second he died, and when everything from housework, career and family life lies on one person’s shoulders sometimes I’m forced to make decisions quickly or instinctively.
"Quiet time on the bench allows me to revisit those decisions and confirm to myself if my my late husband would agree with them.”
The inscription reads: "In loving memory of Spen Backhouse (1972 - 2020) I believe this wave will bear my weight, so let it flow."
'Last carving is his memorial'
Bill Ross had a lifelong passion for woodwork and carved everything from bracelets to lamps, guitars, furniture and stairs.
His elaborate memorial benches, festooned with insects and wildlife designs, are installed in Woodland Trust Scotland’s Ledmore and Migdale Wood.
A bench carved with a gargoyle, Celtic patterns, a hare and a badger, was left unfinished when Bill died on Hogmanay 2020 at the age of 76.
Expert carver, Lee Adams, took over the task of completing the bench without removing any of Bill’s marks and leaving unfinished carvings and features as they were. It has now been installed in the wood in Bill’s memory.
Bill’s sister Win Mainwaring, who lives in Wales, said: “Fine carving became his passion and he would say it was the thing that brought him the most pleasure. We haven’t decided what to write on his plaque yet. He’d be delighted to know the bench is where it was destined to be, in a beautiful wood.”
To get a memorial bench installed for a loved one, contact your local council.
Stacey, Cassie and Liz are all supported by Widowed and Young: www.widowedandyoung.org.uk
