Here at For The Win, we’re committed to hashing out the most important cultural questions of our time, not just in the realm of sports but in every corner of the American experience. Thanksgiving is a time of togetherness, which means it’s also a time of conflict. Arguments are an integral part of Thanksgiving, like those chalky hearts on Valentine’s Day or fireworks on the 4th of July.
This week, the FTW staff came together for the ultimate Thanksgiving debate: what goes on your plate on the biggest culinary holiday of the year?
Our seven competitors, choosing in a snake-style draft order, were all given turkey and gravy at the outset, with the exception of our resident vegetarian Michelle who chose hummus as her protein. Each staffer was required to pick two sides, a dessert, and a drink. You can listen to an audio recording of the full draft here and read on for the results below:
— For The Win (@ForTheWin) November 22, 2022
The Teams
Caroline Darney
Charles Curtis
Matt Scalici
Andy Nesbitt
Blake Schuster
Christian D’Andrea
Michelle Martinelli
Round 1: Sides
Caroline: Mashed Potatoes
Charles: Green Bean Casserole
Matt: Dressing/Stuffing
Andy: French Onion Soup
Blake: Mac & Cheese
Christian: Sweet Potato Casserole
Michelle: Pesto Pasta
The classic Thanksgiving staples all came off the board early in our draft, leading to some creative choices early on. Andy, who established himself during our Halloween candy draft as an, uh, unconventional competitor, chose individual ramekins of French onion soup, a decadent dish to be sure and one that matches the fall vibes of the holiday. Michelle surprised us with a family favorite of hers, a flavor-packed pesto pasta, an innovative starch choice that also gets that all-important green component on the plate as well.
Round 2: More Sides
Caroline: Peas
Charles: Brussels Sprouts
Matt: Italian Sausage
Andy: Personal Pan Detroit-Style Pizzas
Blake: Twice-Baked Potatoes
Christian: Sausage Stuffing
Michelle: Cornbread
The second round of sides saw our competitors reaching deeper into the archives. This is where the hard work and research really pays off for an elite Thanksgiving plate assembler and this round certainly saw a number of controversial choices. This writer followed Michelle’s lead and went Italian with my second side, some spicy Italian sausage for a rare second meat on the Thanksgiving plate. Andy also went Italian but in an extremely unexpected way, choosing Detroit-style personal pan pizzas, a choice that, it’s fair to say, was at no risk of being stolen by any other competitor. Other Thanksgiving staples like peas, Brussels sprouts, and cornbread were all scooped up while Christian chose a stuffing variation featuring sausage, a dish different enough from traditional bread-based stuffing that our judges deemed it valid.
Round 3: Desserts
Caroline: Pumpkin Cheesecake
Charles: Turkey Cake
Matt: Berry Crumble
Andy: Crème Brûlée
Blake: Pumpkin Pie
Christian: Apple Pie
Michelle: Pecan Pie
While we at For The Win hope you don’t confine yourself to just one single dessert this week, our competitors were forced to make that terrible choice. Pumpkin, apple, and pecan pie all came off the board relatively early in the draft, leaving those who put off choosing their dessert to scramble for less traditional options. Charles went with a turkey-shaped cake (he says he prefers to eat the head of the turkey made purely of icing, we’re not here to judge) while Andy once again simply refused to be normal and pulled out the mini blowtorch for some crème brûlée.
Round 4: Drinks
Caroline: Riesling
Charles: Mulled Wine
Matt: Irish Coffee
Andy: New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc
Blake: Moscow Mule
Christian: Whiskey
Michelle: Ford Field Bloody Mary
In the all-important beverage category, several of our staff chose their favorite style of wine because we’re ultimately a very classy bunch. I opted for some caffeine with my libations because I don’t trust my nieces and nephews to leave me unharmed if I fall asleep post-meal, while Christian and Blake went with some classic post-dinner spirits. But it was Michelle who chose perhaps the most decadent option of the entire draft, a Detroit Bloody Mary straight from Ford Field, typically served with a hollowed out pepperoni stick for a straw (not for Michelle), stuffed olives, cheese, and a whole assortment of accoutrements. If you’re going to make the Lions part of your Thanksgiving, you certainly deserve an indulgence.
Final Results
Team Caroline: Mashed Potatoes, Peas, Pumpkin Cheesecake, Riesling
Charles: Green Bean Casserole, Brussels Sprouts, Turkey Cake, Mulled Wine
Matt: Dressing/Stuffing, Italian Sausage, Berry Crumble, Irish Coffee
Andy: French Onion Soup, Detroit-Style Pizza, Crème Brûlée, New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc
Blake: Mac & Cheese, Twice-Baked Potatoes, Pumpkin Pie, Moscow Mule
Christian: Sweet Potato Casserole, Sausage Stuffing, Apple Pie, Whiskey
Michelle: Pesto Pasta, Cornbread, Pecan Pie, Ford Field Bloody Mary
