The family violence victim of a public servant interested in "apocalyptic survivalism" has described being left with "horrific, vivid, intrusive mental imagery" by the man's conduct.
His actions included numerous family violence order contraventions following a separation and claiming a disturbing 2000-page electronic diary was his "truth".
The 41-year-old man cannot be named because identifying parties involved in protection order proceedings is illegal in the territory.
On Tuesday, the ACT Magistrates Court heard the victim fled her ex-husband and home after finding the diary in question.
While its contents have not been aired in open court, a police officer previously revealed parts of the diary referred to "wanting to blow things up, wanting to see people die, wanting to commit murder".
It also reportedly explored various methods of suicide.
"The complainant reports there is a long history of violence in the course of this relationship," a prosecutor told the court when the man was granted bail last month.
In an emotional impact statement read to the court this week, the victim described how immeasurably the order breaches and the "horror" of reading the man's "double life" diary had changed her life.
She said entries and "shocking admissions" in the diary outlined vitriol, hatred and resentment towards her.
"Detailed and graphic descriptions of homicide and violence," the victim's statement read.
The man's post-separation breaches included messaging the woman on multiple platforms and leaving her a "harrowing" but "insincere" audio message.
"It shows a persistent intention for the defendant to contact the victim," prosecutor Colin Balog said.
Defence lawyer Tim Sharman said the breaches reflected a man who was "at the lowest end and was ultimately struggling to see the way forward".
But the victim said she felt violated by the breaches.
"He had forced this traumatic conduct upon me, breaking the protective space the [family violence order] was supposed to provide me at this vulnerable time," she wrote.
The woman said she wanted to share her impact statement so the court understood the complex and devastating effects of the charges.
"I dread, however, that in doing so he will take pleasure in hearing my pain and may seek to exploit my fears," she wrote.
She described feeling hypervigilant, being constantly fearful, suffering medical episodes, and having nightmares about her former partner killing her.
"The impact of this is all encompassing and will require years of psychological work. It will be forever present," the victim said.
Magistrate James Lawton said the man's public service employment was "in limbo".
While the judicial officer said it was not guaranteed the family violence offender would lose his job over the convictions, he was likely going to have to re-apply for his security clearance.
The man has not been charged over the contents of the electronic diary. He has no criminal history.
After pleading guilty to three counts of contravening a family violence order, he was handed a supervised six-month good behaviour order.
- Support is available for those who may be distressed. Phone Lifeline 13 11 14; MensLine 1300 789 978; 1800-RESPECT 1800 737 732; ACT Domestic Violence Crisis Service 6280 0900.
