Vicky Pattison has spoken candidly about why she has yet to have any children, despite being in a long-term relationship with Ercan Ramadan.
The former Geordie Shore star admitted she has an 'addictive personality' and fears that history might repeat itself.
I'm A Celeb winner Vicky has been working with Channel 4 on a tell-all documentary about her father's alcoholism and her own relationship with the bottle.
Discussing her father in an interview with Sky's Beth Rigby, Vicky said: "He's doing well, that's all we can hope for, everyday is a challenge, he's winning his battle at the moment."
Beth replied: "That's really good to know as the documentary is all about his relationship with alcohol, your relationship with him and his difficulties.
"His 30 year battle trying to stop drinking and failing and succeeding at different points.
"The thing that comes out of it, is this fear that you have that you're going to become your dad."
The reality TV star spent three years on MTV's hit show, appearing intoxicated in many episodes alongside fellow Geordies such as Charlotte Crosby, who is in fact now heavily pregnant.
"At times, when I wasn't in the best place - when I was abusing alcohol and depending on it I would lie awake at night wondering if this was just it- the start of that slippery slope," Vicky said.
She went on to describe her addictions in more detail.
"I do everything to extremes. If I'm going to go to the gym, I'm going to go five times a week," she explained.
"If I'm going to party, I want to be the last one standing, there was never any balance.
"So I convinced myself it was a forgone conclusion that I was going to end up like my dad and it led us down some real self sabotaging paths at times."
Vicky then admitted she always feared alcoholism was 'genetic', which could leave her future kids 'powerless', 'out of control' and 'broken like me'.
Completing the documentary could well have allayed her fears somewhat, however as she revealed it has brought her some 'peace and clarity'.
"My main motivation for making this documentary was that I had a strong belief that there was a huge element of alcoholism that was completely genetic," Vicky continued.
"That because my dad had it in him, I was just going to have it in me and I truly believed my kids would have it too and I didn't want them to feel different to everyone else, to feel out of control, to feel powerless to stop something.
"Like their life was only going to be one way - It was going to be hard and sad and they were going to hurt people they loved.
"So that's a huge reason why I haven't had children yet.
"But now I am in a really good place with a nice man and I've done this documentary and learnt loads about this illness.
"I understand there is an element of it that is learnt behaviour and potentially hereditary but more than that I know we have choices as well."
Do you have a story to sell? Get in touch with us at webcelebs@mirror.co.uk or call us direct at 0207 29 33033.
