An army veteran has outlined how her experiences of being sexually assaulted and harassed had a severe impact on her mental health in a statement to the Royal Commission into Defence and Veteran Suicide.
Kylie Reynolds joined the Australian Army when she was 17, in 1993.
In her statement, Ms Reynolds alleged she was sexually assaulted by one of her seniors shortly after she started.
"I never reported the sexual assault, I could not believe it had happened at the time, I just sort of blacked it out," she said.
"I was ashamed that I had let this occur and was not strong enough to stop it.
"I had been warned to keep your mouth shut."
Mental health declines
In her statement, Ms Reynolds detailed what it was like to be a gay woman in the army.
"As a female, I felt that I had to be 110 [per cent] better than the average male soldier, and as a gay female I had to be 150 [per cent] better than the average," she said.
During her time in the army, she became a computer technician and was promoted to sergeant.
Ms Reynolds said in 2006 she was "persecuted" and "harassed" after she tried to help a friend in the army who had attempted to take their own life.
"It has taken its toll on my mental state for many years," she said.
Ms Reynolds said she sought treatment in 2007 and planned to take long service leave but she was then deployed to the Middle East.
In the four years that followed, she said her mental health did not improve.
"I was slowly declining. I struggled to make decisions and just couldn't concentrate," Ms Reynolds said.
"I could not even make decisions about what I wanted to drink or have for breakfast."
Medically discharged
After serving the country for more than 18 years, including in overseas deployments, Ms Reynolds was medically discharged and uses a wheelchair as a result of injuries sustained during her service.
She said her transition into civilian life was difficult.
"I felt as if my world had been ripped out from under me," Ms Reynolds said.
"I had an outstanding career in the army and succeeded as a female in a very male-dominated environment.
"If my brain had not imploded I would still be doing what I loved today."
In her statement, she detailed how her dealings with the Department of Veterans' Affairs (DVA) had a serious and negative impact on her mental health.
"Dealing with DVA every week is a struggle; it is a full-time job," Ms Reynolds said.
No external assessment of capture course
The royal commission also heard from Colonel Simon Dowse from the Defence Intelligence School on the Conduct After Capture course (CAC).
CAC aims to give Australian Defence Force personnel coping strategies to preserve military security and to survive if they are detained.
The royal commission was told 45 people who've died by suicide since 2001 had completed the course, which is needed before international deployment.
Of those 45, five had completed the highest level of training, which included mock interrogations for extended periods.
Colonel Dowse said he was not aware of any external study on whether the training had adverse effects or increased risks for trainees.
He said it would be a "fair proposition" to get an external expert to examine the course.
"Based on the presumption you would be able to find the right people," he said.
