Vanessa Feltz’s ex has admitted for the first time that he cheated on his TV star partner, confessing: “I was wrong...I betrayed the love of my life.” Singer Ben Ofoedu told the Sunday Mirror how fiancée Vanessa forgave him after he had sex three times with an older woman, but their 16-year relationship was finally doomed when he later sex-texted one woman and flirted with another.
Vanessa, 61 next week, kicked Ben, 50, out of their North London home and is now blocking his calls. Revealing the affair for the first time, he said it was “just sex – and a chore. I’ve broken her trust. She gave me another chance. I’ve gone and destroyed that.”
Spelling out his cheating, Ben admitted:
Woman No1 was a fan he met in 2015 while gigging on Ibiza with his band Phats and Small.
Woman No2 was an Instagram follower he grew close to in 2022. She sent him nude photos.
Woman No3 told Vanessa he flirted inappropriately at a Butlin’s gig in Skegness, Lincs, last December.
Ben told the Sunday Mirror: “So many people have been hurt, not just Vanessa. I was so close to her grandchildren, her daughters, their husbands. We’re a close knit family.
“My family have been appalled by it as well. There’s been a lot of pain. My last conversation with Vanessa was me saying how wonderful she was, how she was the love of my life and saying how much I loved her and that I’m so, so sorry it’s happened. ‘Please find it in your heart to forgive me’. Those were the last words I said.
“Then she blocked me on her phone, on social media and never answered my emails. I started off by sending her an email every day saying how sorry I was. She hasn’t responded. It’s been a bit scorched earth really.”
Ben met his lover while touring with Phats and Small. He said: “She was the same age as Vanessa, possibly older. She took a shine to me, said lots of nice things.
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“Over a short period of time we had sex three times. It was purely sexual, there were no feelings involved. It felt like a chore. I just fell back into it with her to keep her sweet and everything under wraps.”
Ben said the woman, who was involved in the music scene and lived in Ibiza, wanted to continue the relationship – but he didn’t. She then contacted Vanessa eight months later to spill the beans.
Ben said: "We had to deal with it. No one knew, but I moved out for a little while. We worked it out. She forgave me. It took her a lot to do that. I knew how hurt she was. I felt absolutely terrible.”
The couple spent years rebuilding their trust. But last year, as he dealt with the ill health and subsequent death of his brother Roy, Ben turned to drink and began pulling away from Vanessa. In the spring he struck up an initially innocent friendship with a fan over social media. But it turned into more, leading to suggestive messages and nude pictures.
Ben told the Sunday Mirror: “Vanessa saw the messages. It was the last straw. When you’re in a relationship you shouldn’t be talking to someone who your other half doesn’t know about. I can’t justify it, I knew I was in the wrong.
“I felt guilty but it was a light-hearted relief and distraction which turned into a monster and destroyed my life.”
Detailing Vanessa’s reaction, he said: “She was shocked and hurt. She said she felt betrayed. She was going ‘How could you? Why would you? After what we’ve been through'.
“I never had any intention of meeting the woman from Instagram. She came to one of my gigs but we never met. I initially made out I was sexting an ex – the first thing that came to mind. Vanessa was horrified."
Vanessa had more cause for concern when a woman at one of Ben’s gigs messaged her about their flirting.
Ben added: “Even though I didn’t do anything, it was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Vanessa got a text saying, ‘Ben said this to me, something sexually suggestive, but he didn’t do anything’. I can’t recall saying anything. I was annoyed about it. I knew I was innocent. But it didn’t go down well.”
Vanessa, host of a string of TV and radio shows down the years and a former contestant on Strictly Come Dancing and Celebrity Big Brother, said on Instagram: “It’s now clear that it’s over and I feel that you know once the trust is gone you can’t really get that back. I’m pretty disappointed and shocked about those horrible things but also full of resolve because I’m not going to let this defeat me.”
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