Vanessa Feltz’s ex has begged the TV star to take him back, calling her the “Queen of my heart”.
Broken Ben Ofoedu, 50, told how he blames the fact that she didn’t marry him, despite being engaged for 15 years, for making him insecure.
He also revealed he gave up his dreams of fatherhood for her, and struggled after his brother’s death last year, which drove them further apart.
Full of regret for cheating on his partner of 16 years, Ben said he feels he has “thrown his life away”.
Issuing a heartfelt plea to Vanessa, 60, Ben said: “I’m sorry for all the pain caused to Vanessa, to her family, to mine. We had an amazing 16 years. It wasn’t perfect, but it was amazing. I truly love her. She’s the love of my life.
“Vanessa is perfect. She didn’t have any issues. I was all me, my insecurities. It’s my fault, my stupidity, I’ve thrown away my life. I hit the self-destruct button.”
The Phats and Small singer, 50, blames his own insecurities for the breakdown of their relationship.
Engaged in 2006 after a year of dating, Ben says his dream of marriage were dashed by This Morning agony aunt Vanessa, who was too scarred from her first failed marriage.
He says this played a part in 2015, when he slept with a woman he met in Ibiza three times.
“I cheated because I was insecure,” he admitted. “The girl said things like, ‘You’re such a great guy. I don’t know why you’re not married. Who wouldn’t want to marry you?’
“That coupled with alcohol was a recipe for disaster. It was a volatile situation. That’s why that happened.”
Nine months later, the woman revealed all about their dalliance to former Radio 2 host Vanessa, who kicked Ben out of their home.
The couple worked through their issues and got back together.
But Ben, who rose to fame in 1999 with hit Turn Around, was caught out sexting another woman last year including nude pictures sent from the woman. Vanessa discovered the messages and dumped Ben.
Ben says she had also recently been told he had been flirting with another woman at Butlin’s in Skegness while performing there in November.
Trying to find a reason for his behaviour, Ben mused: “I always dreamed of being married. I wanted a wife.
“My insecurity was borne out of not being married and knowing it would never happen because of the pain that Vanessa went through before with her first husband.
“I began to realise about 10 years in that we would never get married. Someone not wanting to have your surname. I’m religious and the person you love most of all doesn’t want to validate your love. That hurt.
“The only woman I really love won’t walk down the aisle with me. And now it looks like she had every right to do that. I’ve really gone and messed that up.
“I’m 50, it’s a terrible age to make a mistake.”
He told how he even gave up his dream of having children for former Celebrity Big Brother and Strictly Come Dancing contestant Vanessa, who has two daughters Allegra and Saskia from her marriage to Michael Kurer.
“My life was set up,” Ben said. “I’d accepted the fact I wouldn’t have biological children. I’d given up that dream to be with Vanessa the rest of my life. She was more important.
“We were a family, I loved her grandchildren. I threw it all away in a moment of madness.”
Heartbroken Ben says he hasn’t spoken to Vanessa for over three weeks, since she said their relationship was over and told him to leave their London home.
The singer says his ex has blocked his number and on social media. She’s also ignored his numerous emails.
Desperate to apologise to Vanessa and make amends he pleaded: “I’m here to say I was wrong, Vanessa is completely justified in her actions. She’s the love of my life and I don’t think I’ll ever meet anyone like her ever again.”
Remorseful Ben says if there was a chance they could get back together he’d do all he can to make it work.
“I just want it out there, me apologising to her for the pain I’ve caused. Of course I want to be with her, if she wants me back.
“I think I’ve got some soul searching to do, of course I hope there’s some reconciliation. I just want to speak to her. I want to sit her down and tell her I’m sorry in person. She’s my best friend. We were together for almost 17 years and that’s a lot of time to be with someone.”
Meanwhile Vanessa has defiantly posted a message on social media telling fans she’s doing ok, saying: “It’s now clear that it’s over and I feel that you know once the trust is gone you can’t really get that back. I’m pretty disappointed and shocked about those horrible things but also full of resolve because I’m not going to let this defeat me.”
Opening up about their long term love, Ben says despite sneers at their 10-year age gap throughout their union, the couple were so compatible and in sync.
“We clicked in so many ways - physically, emotionally, intellectually,” Ben reminisced. “We thought the same things even though we were educated differently. We had so much fun together. She’s my best friend.
“I took for granted how great our days were together. We had a whole set of friends, I’d be so embarrassed to see them again after this. I want to own up and apologise to anyone I’ve hurt.
“I want to stop the incorrect narrative that I was going to different holiday parks cheating every second. It’s complete nonsense. I think more men should own it.
“Vanessa has been incredibly dignified.
“Vanessa is the Queen of my heart. I miss her so much.”
Looking back to happier days, Ben says Vanessa - who he met through a mutual friend - was the perfect partner.
“She’s funny, intelligent, witty,” he smiled. “We fell in love so fast. We’d go to every function together. We were inseparable.
“When we got engaged at the end of 2006, it was the happiest day of my life.
“We continued to grow stronger and closer together. We were never bored as we came from different backgrounds - different religions, race. There was always something to talk about, always learning about each other. We were so strong together. I always thought I’d grow old with Vanessa. Maybe God’s got a different plan.”
But Ben admitted the pair did row, but always found a way of making up - until his infidelities came to light.
“We were a passionate couple,” Ben opened up. “We argued quite a bit. But we always made up.
“We had this thing which we let go of. We used to say ‘I like you more than I like this argument’ that always got us through.
“After my dalliance we lost it and the arguments would escalate more than before as there was an undertone of mistrust and things had been shattered.”
Emotional Ben opened up about his personal tragedy that he said caused him to drift away from Vanessa over the past 12 months.
He lost his younger brother Ray to a brain hemorrhage after a long illness, aged just 47.
“I loved my brother Roy so deeply. He was my go to guy when I was going through problems. I’d ask his advice. He was my wingman through life.
“After my brother, I was drifting from Vanessa. When I’m dealing with something, I do hide, I bottle up.”
