Television personality and This Morning regular Vanessa Feltz appeared on the ITV daytime show on Wednesday, February 8 to speak about her recent break up from fiance Ben Ofoedu and says that while she wishes people hadn't found out her personal news for a little while longer, she won't let her heartbreak 'grind me down'.
It comes after the 60-year-old who had been in a relationship with the Phats &Small dancer, 50, for 16 years made a return to Instagram to tell her fans of this heartbreak with an emotional message which detailed her sadness, disappointment and shock.
Speaking to the show's presenters, Holly Willoughby and Phillip Schofield, Vanessa came on This Morning to give an open and honest account of how she was feeling after what has been a "very tough week for her".
After being asked this question, Vanessa said: "I'm feelng just like anybody else would after the end of a 16 year relationship, which I had my heart and soul in. I believed wholeheartedly in it, so when you have to end a relationship, it's very very hard. I'm feeling it just like anybody else and I've had so many messages from people going through it and I wouldn't want to minimise in any way what it's like when you're heartbroken. It's horrible.
"People have been amazing, absolutely amazing and of course [support] helps a lot. And I can't sleep at all, so reading thousands and thousands of messages from lovely people on Instagram is something to do in the middle of the night. I'm really finding my real friends, my real family, people I don't know."
She went on to say how she's not alien to this "horrible feeling" having already gone through a divorce in 2000. She said: "I'm not alone and I've also been through it before. It's not like I'm a stranger to this stuff. I've already had a horrible divorce so it's quite familiar, this awful feeling, but I'm absolutely not going to let it grind me down. I'm not. However I feel inside, I'm going to put it on on the outside."
She added that she didn't have "much choice" in the publicising of the breakup - which she reveals was both a terrible shock and yet 'gradual' - saying: "It wasn't me that told anybody about it, I was trying to keep it private for as long as I possibly could."
And while she is currently going through the motions, she explains now it is out there, how she's looking on the bright side and into the future. "I don't want to dwell on anything and any of the details, I really do want to focus on the future and I really want to focus on telling myself there is a future."
The segment came before she went on the show to give advice to those with broken hearts as part of a phone-in.
The pair met in 2005 following her divorce from Michael Kurer in 2000 when Vanessa was introduced to Ben by mutual friend Keith Duffy of Boyzone. While both in relationships at the time, their romance didn't blossom until they were both single some years later, reunting at a Christmas party. Just one year later the couple got engaged and while over the years they had planned on getting married, they never made it down the aisle.
It's reported that they split following cheating allegations, as reported by the Metro.
Speaking to her Instagram followers on Sunday, Vanessa revealed her recent heartbreak via video and said: "Well, I haven’t been on Instagram for three weeks and that’s because my relationship with Ben is over after 16 years and I honestly didn’t know what to say to you on Instagram.
"But now it’s clear that it’s over, and I really do feel that once the trust in a relationship is gone you really can’t get it back, and that’s what I’d tell anyone else to do. So I just wanted to say, obviously I feel incredibly sad, and I’m pretty disappointed and shocked and all those horrible things. But also full of resolve, because I’m not going to let this defeat me.
"I’m so glad to be living longer then my mum did. She died at 57 and I’m going to be 61 next month. So I feel very grateful to be alive and I want to carry on feeling that way and I want to celebrate and I want to find fun and laughter anywhere I can and I know it’s not going to be easy but I’m absolutely determined to do it."
This Morning airs on ITV on weekdays at 10am.
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